'98 Yanks rally to tie All-Time Yankee series with '51 team

Series tied: 2-2
Knobby, Jeet, sparkplugs!
Gil takes El Duque downtown!
In dramatic appearance, Joe D ignites stadium!
Mo flubs lead, then comes through!
Billy fails!
Next up: Vic Raschi v David Cone!

Friday, January 22, 2021

In gift to spelling-challenged bloggers everywhere, Yanks sign Asher Wojciechowski

Asher Wojciechowski. (Pronounced as it looks.) 

This is war. 

This. Must. Not. Stand.

O, there hath been dirty deeds done (dirt cheap) by Brian Cashman - aka the Y-anon Shaman - but this, THIS, takes the urinal cake. I'm still battling with LeMahiue and the occasional Teixeira... with PTSD flashbacks to the Spell Checker Kraken of 2007, the good-hearted Doug Mientkiewicz. Now... this? It's unforgivable, I tell you, a cruel joke by a demon who humps buildings in an elf costume. And here's the worst part of this treachery: Wojciechowksky might be here to stay

Why would I think this? Well, for starters, he is one. And right now, the Yankee rotation is Geritt Cole dressed as a Five-Day Deodorant Pad. (Millennials, ask a boomer.) Wojciechowksky - known, of course, as "Wojo," (rare Barney Miller reference; ask a boomer), toiled last year for Baltimore, with a 6.82 ERA over 37 innings (including seven starts).  He is 32, a righty, a 6'4" war horse, originally drafted (first round, no less) by Toronto, back in the Obama administration. Over his MLB career, Wojo has thrown 198 innings with a 5.95 ERA. Basically, he's a guy who takes the ball. 

If you need a Yankee comparison, last year he was an older, better version of Michael King, who threw 26 innings with a patriotic 7.76 ERA. 

Signings like this raise the specter of a Sergio Leone movie. (Ask a boomer.)

The good: He signed a minor league contract. Whatever happens - no harm, no foul. History is paved with pitchers who peak after 30; the Jays just signed one, Kirby Yates, for a Putin-level pile. If Wojo is smart - if he has guile and guts - he could be our fifth starter until somebody else emerges.

The bad: Nobody might emerge. This signing - as "no fault" as it seems -  suggests how dire the rotation situation currently looks. Cashman is quietly looking under rocks. Also, it's interesting that Wojo chose the Yankees. He and his agent saw a pitching vacuum, a wide-open opportunity. 

The ugly: The Yankees might keep him in April and May simply to screw rookie pitchers out of future arbitration years. He might start, even with younger and better options available, simply because he's cheap. On the Yankees, no less...

Also, I gotta spell this guy's name for the next four months. Asher Wojciechowskie. Damn you, Cashman, you've won again


Exit 33 said...

I know he's a pitcher but if he batted in an NL game and hit one out, imagine John Sterling's home run call!!!

Local Bargain Jerk said...

No worries about Wojo having a career 5.95 ERA. Larry Rothschild will work with him, encourage him to abandon everything he knows, lead with his change-up and, develop a killer fork ball as his out pitch.

Oh.  Wait.

13bit said...

Thanks, Hoss, for "Wojo."

I was already hard at work - rather, getting my team to crank the wheels - to come up with a uniform, codified abbreviation-cum-nickname that we could all adapt. I was thinking of "WOJ" or "WOK" or a few other variants. My team, all diligently working with actual paper reference books, is still on sub-level three below ground, coming up with contingency plan names.

BUT, it will be impossible to top "WOJO," so I'll move on to more pressing needs. The DOD needs some new scenarios and I have only a week to come up with them...

13bit said...

Oh shit, my bad. It's LBJ and not HOSS who came up with "WOJO."

Let the record reflect my error.

LBJ, do you think the fall will be too early for another IIHIIF Roundup at the stadium? I'm think we may all have to live another year and plan on 2022. I'd love to be wrong, though, and can't wait until my turn comes for the vaccine.


DickAllen1964 said...

Goodbye Hammerin' Hank.

What a man.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


Re Henry Aaron, I couldn't agree more. He was a giant.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Much as I'd love to, Bitty, I can't take credit for our Peerless Leader's excellent work.

Hmm, for Wojo, maybe we can revive the old Mientkiewicz nickname: "Eye Chart."

But really, this is the kind of guy you'd see in "Probable Pitchers" and breathe a sight of relief. The kind of guy who was always throwing for Baltimore, or maybe Detroit, and you'd think, "Put that one in the W column."

The fact that this is the best Brain can do for a dumpster dive is a bad sign, an indication, perhaps, that his one real skill is fading.

Anonymous said...

voy-chee-CHOV-ski. There is a good reason why Yankee uniforms don't shout the wearers' surnames.