'98 Yanks rally to tie All-Time Yankee series with '51 team

Series tied: 2-2
Knobby, Jeet, sparkplugs!
Gil takes El Duque downtown!
In dramatic appearance, Joe D ignites stadium!
Mo flubs lead, then comes through!
Billy fails!
Next up: Vic Raschi v David Cone!
REMATCH!

Wednesday, January 13, 2021

The Yankees' hope with LeMahieu: Some old-fashioned ownership collusion

According to my sources - (the Internet) - DJ LeMahieu is goddam fed up with goddam Yankee foot-dragging, and he's calling on the Citizens of Earth to make him an offer he goddam cannot refuse.

Frankly, he should have done this last month. He wrongly interpreted the Yanks' offer as the opening of negotiations. Instead, it was a keepsake. It supposedly falls $25 million shy of DJ's expectations, and the Yankees have sat on it like Ethel Merman after a 12-pack.  

Ever since, we've been waiting for him to overturn the table, storm from the parlor and demand the nuclear option. That could happen soon.

LeMahieu's nuke would be to court a Yankee rival. Two come to mind: The Mets - with a shiny new owner who seeks to be NYC's biggest swinging dick - and the Blue Jays, who look like a team on the cusp of a world series, especially if fortified by a player of LeMahieu's talent. And there is always Boston, which is emerging from a tank year. Say what you will about the Redsocks: They know how to tank. 

If LeMahiue runs to a West Coast team - or even better, a National League team - the Yankees will probably present him with a gold watch. But if he signs with the enemy - well - they cannot allow it, without facing a fan insurrection. (Cue photos of Alphonso sitting at Hal's desk, or Mustang running off with Suzyn's podium.) 

Which brings us to the secondary force at play: Would any opposing owner do such a thing to his brother? Are the bonds of immeasurable wealth strong enough to keep our rivals from poaching the most complete Yankee since Jeter? Because the Death Barge can withstand losing LeMahieu; it has options, though ever-dwindling. What the front office cannot do is let him sign with a team we face 19 times per season, or in a highly charged Subway Series. 

So, I now ask all owners out there, who are within the range of my voice: 

Who the fuck are you, really? Are you on the Billionaire team, or have you become wobbly, throwing in with the hired help? Will you support your hedge fund/old money brethren? Or will you be a traitor, and poach a cherished piece of kitchenware from the House of Steinbrenner? Can we count on you to collu- um, (cough), er, uhhh - see it our way?

8 comments:

13bit said...

when I'm riding down the road and a man comes on the radio and he's telling me more and more about some useless information supposed to try my imagination, I can't get no, I can't get no, I can't go no...no no no...

~this is going to be my month of banalities and bad quotes, aphorisms and hopelessly meaningless metaphors and other assorted crap. I can't take it anymore. I'm mad as hell and I just can't take it any more. it's a bad fucking month to stop sniffing glue...

DickAllen1964 said...


Assuming collusion, which is a very safe bet, and further assuming the baseball season, when it starts, may be played in empty stadiums across the country (except in Tampa where they won’t really know the difference), would it be unreasonable for Vegas to take odds on which franchise files Chapter 11 first?

Tampa 5-2
Phoenix 7-1
Oakland 5-2
Colorado 10-1
Kansas City 3-1
Yankees 25-1
Baltimore 3-1
Miami 4-1

Any takers?

As if DJL need worry. As teams go belly up, he will be, along with many fat cat players, sitting pretty.

We can all start fantasizing about opening day 2022, thereby giving our brains enough time to kick our collective glue and/or carbona habits.


Anonymous said...

Some thoughts on DJ's landing place...

I could be, and frequently am, wrong, but I don't worry about Toronto signing DJ as much.

For one thing they might very well be playing in Buffalo again and while the sorry state of the NY Giants has left me a very low member of the Bills Mafia...

(Akin to a Matre' D who holds a good table in case somebody "important" comes in.)

I don't think anyone would choose to play there, even if it's only for a year.

Now LA! That's another story. Shit, I'd play for LA.

OK, to be honest I'd play for the Saskatoon Phlegm Wads if they wanted an ancient first baseman with shot knees and Covid riddled lungs.

The Dodgers scare me because they are willing to spend for talent and are odds on favorites to return to the Series. Add DJ and...

Last,

The thing that I find most disturbing about all this is the treading watery-ness of it all. We're not getting better we're trying to be close to what we were last year, which stop me if you've heard this... WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO MAKE THE SERIES MUCH LESS WIN IT.

They've got us looking at the wrong thing. When (if) we re-sign DJ we're supposed to be satisfied. Way to go! We didn't get worse!!!!!!

Meh.

Doug K.


Buhner's Ghost said...

Does John Sterling know how to spell this guy's name? Is there an "e" at the end or not? Not only does It Is High... vary the spelling from day to day, it sometimes happens (as in this post) from sentence to sentence. Maybe this kind of disrespect from Yankees fans is why your coveted DJ is waffling on returning to the NYY clubhouse. Who could blame him? In the hallowed words of the late, great Proofreader General of the United States: SPELLING COUNTS!

el duque said...

As long as the Yankees don't print players' names on the backs of their jerseys, spelling doesn't count. As in Andy Petitte.

ranger_lp said...

DJL is supposed to get an offer from another team and then the Yanks will match it.

There has been no offers. In fact, no offers for Bauer or Realmuto or Springer yet either.

That's where we are at. Someone will budge eventually, but can't help to think the "C" word is happening here...

HoraceClarke66 said...

As Groucho once said, better to run to Toronto than to run to a HAL you don't want to.

JM said...

The Billionaire Brotherhood meets in a secret Kansas City underground location, where their chants and offerings to the Lord of Cleft-Hoof Austerity resound off the cave walls.