The Yankees' hope with LeMahieu: Some old-fashioned ownership collusion

According to my sources - (the Internet) - DJ LeMahieu is goddam fed up with goddam Yankee foot-dragging, and he's calling on the Citizens of Earth to make him an offer he goddam cannot refuse.

Frankly, he should have done this last month. He wrongly interpreted the Yanks' offer as the opening of negotiations. Instead, it was a keepsake. It supposedly falls $25 million shy of DJ's expectations, and the Yankees have sat on it like Ethel Merman after a 12-pack.  

Ever since, we've been waiting for him to overturn the table, storm from the parlor and demand the nuclear option. That could happen soon.

LeMahieu's nuke would be to court a Yankee rival. Two come to mind: The Mets - with a shiny new owner who seeks to be NYC's biggest swinging dick - and the Blue Jays, who look like a team on the cusp of a world series, especially if fortified by a player of LeMahieu's talent. And there is always Boston, which is emerging from a tank year. Say what you will about the Redsocks: They know how to tank. 

If LeMahiue runs to a West Coast team - or even better, a National League team - the Yankees will probably present him with a gold watch. But if he signs with the enemy - well - they cannot allow it, without facing a fan insurrection. (Cue photos of Alphonso sitting at Hal's desk, or Mustang running off with Suzyn's podium.) 

Which brings us to the secondary force at play: Would any opposing owner do such a thing to his brother? Are the bonds of immeasurable wealth strong enough to keep our rivals from poaching the most complete Yankee since Jeter? Because the Death Barge can withstand losing LeMahieu; it has options, though ever-dwindling. What the front office cannot do is let him sign with a team we face 19 times per season, or in a highly charged Subway Series. 

So, I now ask all owners out there, who are within the range of my voice: 

Who the fuck are you, really? Are you on the Billionaire team, or have you become wobbly, throwing in with the hired help? Will you support your hedge fund/old money brethren? Or will you be a traitor, and poach a cherished piece of kitchenware from the House of Steinbrenner? Can we count on you to collu- um, (cough), er, uhhh - see it our way?