Friday, October 21, 2022

Face it, Yankee fans: We were never going to beat Houston without our backs firmly pressed to the wall. So here we go...

Great teams converge around great shortstops.

Jeter, Concepcion, Trammel, Ozzie Smith... great shortstops, great dynasties. Of course, not every world champion has a Hall of Famer at the position, but they always sport an above-average player, the gritty guy who makes every play, the team leader, the infield bedrock.  

Over the last three games of the ALCS, the mighty New York Yankees have started three different shortstops. 

Yep, 165 games into the yeaer, Aaron Boone is still figuring out who plays SS. (No, Who is on first.)  

Who will it be Friday? Beats me. A return to IKF? Another shot for Oswaldo? Maybe a longshot - Josh Donaldson? Harrison Bader? Can they retry the 2021 experiment with Gleyber? What's Didi Gregorius doing these days? Anybody have Anthony Volpe's girl friend's number? 

Okay, I lured you here with a hopeful header, and now here I am, blaring the IT IS HIGH Mayday distress call to ships at sea. A multitude of reasons tell us that - yep - all his lost, that we will once again fall to Houston and that - frankly - the better team will have won. The fucking Yankees have struck out 30 times in two games - possibly the biggest collection of Ks in playoffs history. They serve strikeouts like grapes, in big, seedy bunches - and the Astro hurler last night literally laughed at us, LAUGHED AT US, as he walked to the dugout. 

When Bregman homered - (what a concept: a three-run homer!) - didn't we all know  the game was over? Yeah, we scored twice - their pitcher botched a DP - but the outcome was carved in stone. Aaron Judge's fly died at the wall, and - yeah- it might have gone out if the roof was on. But the roof wasn't on, and this isn't that Marvel alternative universe of "What if?s" We can conjure excuses and blame the umps, but we're like the Trump lawyers in federal court; nobody wants to hear us.  

But but BUT... we can still win this. We can, we can, WE CAN!

1. In these last two games, our third and fourth starters lost to their aces. Tomorrow, it's Cole against their No. 3. And get this: Rain is predicted for Sunday - yes - our old friend, Dr. Downpour. Rain or shine, it's Nasty Nestor against their No. 4, and I like our chances. 

If we win Saturday, if we break their momentum, we can win game four behind Nestor. Then we're on a roll. 

2. The Astros won both games in front of a relatively meek and wild crowd, a bunch of suburban librarians sitting on hard plastic seats with cowboy spurs up their asses. In big moments, they waved their hankies. Woopteefuckindoo. At times, I was amazed that the game was a sellout. They had 40,000, and they sounded like 20,000. 

The Astros are about to encounter a crowd of 50,000 that sounds like 100,000. Every row of Yankee fans is like the Magnificent Seven - they number only seven, but they taunt like 700!

3. Face it. We knew the Yankees wouldn't sweep Houston or win a short series. To beat them will take seven games. Realistically, nothing has changed. The formula remains: All we have to do is win in New York, in front of the hordes, then we get two shots in Houston. 

4. We've learned a valuable lesson: You cannot step from injured list into the MLB postseason roster. I'm talking about Matt Carpenter, who has seven plate appearances and seven unpromising strikeouts. He's a wonderful man, great handshake, flushes the toilet, remembers birthdays... but notion of Carpy DHing must be hereby scrapped. I don't even think he should pinch hit, but - well, lightning in a bottle, right? Where's Al Michaels? Do you believe in miracles?

5. Our SS should be Oswald Peraza. Yes, he bounced some throws to first last night, and he didn't get a hit, but he's simply our best fielding SS, and who knows? The Yankees have nobody hitting, so it doesn't matter. IFK might be a better shot at 3B. 

7. Somehow, we gotta figure out their catcher, "Not Candy" Maldonado. Guy is fucking killing us. Last night's biggest fuckup was Sevy hitting him on an 0-2 count, launching the meltdown. 

By the way, if the Yankees fail, Boone was wrong to pull Sevy in that no-hitter last month. It will have been his only chance at history.

But the Yankees haven't failed yet. We simply gotta win Saturday. That's all. The more we see their vaunted bullpen, I believe the better chance we have of shocking them. Pressley looked unstoppable last night, but then - whoops - he walked Donaldson and if Locastro had simply tried to steal one a pitch earlier, maybe Carpy would have  - ahh, sorry, I gotta quit the what-ifs. 

Before the fourth game of the 2004 ALCS, the Redsocks reportedly drank shots of whiskey, just to break the stress. They flipped the switch on us and own us to this day. We need to break Houston's death grip, and it was never going to happen without our backs pressed to the wall. 

So here we are, everybody. We all knew we'd be here. It's time for an uprising. We can do this. 

31 comments:

ZacharyA said...

It takes a special team to overcome a 0-2 series deficit against a superior opponent.

It takes a team with heart, with courage, with mental fortitude.

It takes a team with strong leadership.

It takes a team with budding talent, a team with a knack for timeliness and coming through in the big moment.

It takes a well-build, healthy roster with the depth to battle toe-to-toe through seven games.

Do the 2022 New York Yankees resemble such a team in any way?

BTR999 said...

Face it, Yankee fans: We were never going to beat Houston.

There, I fixed it for you.

AboveAverage said...

El Duque - Are you suggesting that the Yankees drink - Jameson - before game Three?

Wouldn’t that be criminal?

Dangerous?

Vampiric?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

To win the series, it would take an extended Boone absence and his fill-in (Mendoza?) telling the intern to shove his line-up card.

In other words, me hitting powerball is more likely.

TheWinWarblist said...

Duque, you could have stopped at "We were never going to beat Houston." These Our 2022 Second Half New York Yankees are built to lose everything.

Everything. The first half was a glorious accident, so of course Hal and CashBrain had to destroy it. Hal is probably still furiously masturbating over the replay of Bregman's homer.

AboveAverage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AboveAverage said...

Are we sure there isn’t a player on the team named Tequila?

Heck, even if Locastro’s clubhouse nickname was “Strawberry Quick” it would be a better way to go ‘cause we wouldn’t lose a pitcher.

October 21, 2022 at 10:11 AM

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Over

13bit said...

We ALL knew this was coming.

And it all ultimately goes on Hal.

George would have canned the intern decades ago.

George was a dick, but he was OUR dick.

Now we have no dicks.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

The front office also has no balls.

AboveAverage said...


Now we have no dicks

Now we have no balls

Now we have no

Mo-Mentum

Surging down

Our halls









JM said...

If it did, Rufus, Donaldson would swing and miss them.

The Hammer of God said...

Call me crazy, but I think the ultimate way to beat the ASS-stros would be to intentionally lose Game 3 by pitching our worst pitchers for 9 innings and playing our worst possible lineup. Then proceed to try to duplicate the Red Sox feat of coming from 3 game to none down to win the damned series. If the Yanks come back to win four straight, it would exorcise some of the demons from 2004. And it sure would shove a huge battering ram up the cheating ASS-stros's asses, eh?

That would be the ultimate, but not the "best" (or most likely) way to beat them.

The best way to beat them would be to sweep them at Yankee Stadium and then win Game 6 in Houston. The same way the Dodgers did the Yanks in back in 1981. I think it's probably been done other times, but that '81 series is the one that comes to my mind first and foremost as an example of this.

In 1996, Yanks lost the first two at home, then went on to win three in Atlanta and then Game 6 at home to take the championship, as we all know. But that was winning three on the road, so the '96 Yanks did it the hard way.

The way the Dodgers did it in '81 is the easier way to do it. And it's quite possible for a team with any kind of guts and talent. Does this Yankee team have enough guts and talent? It's the moment of truth for the 2022 season. We'll find out the answer in the next few days.

The Hammer of God said...

@El Duque, "Before the fourth game of the 2004 ALCS, the Redsocks reportedly drank shots of whiskey, just to break the stress."

Well, it's nice to know that the 2004 Yanks lost to a bunch of drunken bums. So what does that tell you about the '04 Yankee team, including its manager? And we kept that manager through 2007, right? What does that tell you about the club's front office?

HoraceClarke66 said...

Good historical example, Hammer.

But the 1981 Yankees were severely handicapped by an insane George Steinbrenner, who wanted to win the World Series without Reggie or Jerry Mumphrey, and so insisted on keeping Reggie out of the first game, and Mumphrey—our BA leader that year— out of the next two.

Plus, Bob Lemon—a sad shell of himself after his son's untimely death—made egregious managerial mistakes, such as instructing Bobby Murcer to "bunt for a hit" in Game Three, and pulling Guidry way late in Game Five, despite our very good bullpen.

I don't think we can count on Dusty Baker or whatever oil despoiler who owns the Astros putting on that sort of shit show.

The Hammer of God said...

Sevvy blew it when he gave up the 3 run homer to Bregman. He gives up a lot of 3 run homers, doesn't he? If he wants to be the ace of the staff, and a champion, he can't give up a 3 run homer in that spot.

Three run home run, what a concept, indeed, El Duque. The best candidate to hit a 3 run homer on the Yanks is Aaron Judge, but BaBoone puts Judge in the 2 slot. That make any sense?

On the Guardians, they had Jose Ramirez hitting third. On the ASS-stros, they have Alvarez hitting third and Bregman hitting fourth. Notice Ramirez and Alvarez don't hit in the 2 slot.

I'd put Cabrera leadoff, Rizzo 2, and Judge 3. Or Cabrera can hit 9, Torres leadoff.

The Hammer of God said...

Indeed, Hoss! And Dusty Baker was part of that '81 Dodgers team, right? That was a tough loss to swallow, after being up 2 games to none. I was just a little kid back then, and I remember the meltdown in Game 3. I don't remember any of the politics or the details, just the massively disappointing results.

The Hammer of God said...

Since the playoffs started this year, what exactly have the Yankees gained by having Judge in the 2 slot? If you go back and look at the boxscores and the play by play, inning by inning, you'll find that they gained absolutely nothing, nada, nadie. He didn't come up an extra time. There has been no one on base most of the time when Judge comes up. He has come up a few times with one man on. Through seven playoff games, he has yet to come up with two men on base. And how many times with the bases loaded, you ask? Don't make me laugh!

HoraceClarke66 said...

I'm right with you, Hammer. I completely concede that the Yankees don't have anything resembling a good leadoff man.

But hey, start of the game, when even great starting pitchers often don't have it together? All you need is a walk, a hit batter. A bloop hit somewhere...and suddenly your best power hitter is up. With, yes, the pitcher now having to throw out of the stretch, and some small part of his brain inevitably distracted by the guys dancing off first and second.

What was the biggest single blow struck by the Yankees in the playoffs so far? Giancarlo's three-run shot against Cleveland in Game Five. In the first inning. That put them behind the eight-ball, and threw off their whole game plan.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I was recently out of college in 1981, Hammer, and remember those games only too well.

I thought we were a lock, after Tommy John and Gossage turned in a completely dominant, Game Two shutout.

Game Three, rookie Dave Righetti, who had been lights out for us in the season and the playoffs, got off to a bad start, letting up a two-out, three-run homer in the first, to Ron Cey. Hey, it happens.

Righetti looked off, but once the Yanks had surged back into a 4-3 lead, Lemon let him hit with two on and two out in the top of the third. Righetti struck out—then ended up being pulled in the bottom of the third anyway, after the first two batters reached base.

George Frazier gave up the lead in the fifth. BUT, in the top of the 8th, after we got two on with none out, Lasorda left a very rocky Fernando Valenzuela in to pitch to Bobby Murcer. That was when Lemon gave him the infamous, "bunt for a hit" instruction. Murcer, who probably had not bunted all year, popped it up to Cey, who threw to first for a DP.

Very aggravating...

HoraceClarke66 said...

Next game, we got up 4-0 and 6-3. But Rick Reuschel, a late-season pick-up, could give us only 3, and Ron Davis and, yes, George Frazier surrendered the lead in the bottom of the 6th. A ball that Reggie botched in right didn't help.

Jackson got one back with a homer in the 8th. Top of the 9th, still trailing 8-7, we got two men on and Willie Randolph really laced into one, hit a tremendous drive to deep center. Where it was caught on the warning track.

Game Five, Guidry, who had been mostly limited to 6 innings all year, got one out in the sixth, only to have Pedro Guerrero homer to tie it at 1. Lemon left him in. Steve Yeager then homered. Ballgame.

Back in NYC, we couldn't take advantage of some early opportunities, and lost badly. And so the Crazy Eighties took flight.

BTR999 said...

Of course Judge should be batting third, as he should’ve been all season. Rizzo a clear choice for second by dint of good, consistent OBA. Right now, we don’t have anything resembling a lead off hitter. I suppose Bader would be the best choice, above average speed and he actually runs hard as opposed to the rest of the lethargic, K prone lineup.

I seem to recall we could’ve had Verlander if we wanted to go 2 years in his contract, for exactly what we’re paying Donoldson. Imagine a world where we had Corea at SS and Verlander in the rotation. 3B? Simple: just keep Urshela, That’s how easy and close it all was…

Oasisdave said...

Let's see.... Nope, nope, nope and uhhhh NOPE. I believe we have our answer

Oasisdave said...

I think it's appropriate that we thank Cashole, Ma Boone and Cheapskate Hal before we are embarrassed and eliminated at home by a team we should hate as much as Boston

The Hammer of God said...

@Hoss, Whooooo, those are some sore & painful memories from '81! I do remember Righetti in Game 3 (one of my favorite Yankees, along with Willie Randolph) trying to lay a sac bunt down, furiously chewing a big wad of bubble gum, looking somewhat like a horse with his long legs and arms, and leaning over the plate and handling a bat like it was a 4X4 fence post. I remember the Yankees bullpen wire gate constantly opening and closing as a new reliever would come in, only to have the Dodgers hit the ball even harder.

And last of all, I remember Game 6 in Yankee Stadium, where the Dodgers killed the Yanks 9-2. I was still holding out hope until the last out of the 9th inning! And I remember the crushing disappointment when it was over, particularly because, as a young newbie fan, I thought the series was going to be a Yankee cakewalk when they got up 2 games to none! (At that time, I'd never even heard of a team coming back from 2 games to none down to win a series.)

The Hammer of God said...

@borntorun999, Yes, we haven't had a real leadoff hitter in years. DJ LeMahieu, when he was healthy and hitting up a storm, was a pretty good leadoff hitter, but not really a classic leadoff type. You want someone with a lot of speed, able to bunt for hits, and a tiny strike zone with pesky high on base %. You want an absolute pest. But that type of player has been disappearing from the major leagues for awhile now.

The Hammer of God said...

@Oasisdave, Oh, I hate the ASS-stros much, much more than I hate the Red Sox. Hell, compared to the ASS-stros, I could be lovey dovey with the Red Sox. The two teams that I really love to hate are now the ASS-stros and the Tampons.

Kevin said...

Besides Donaldson, I really hope that we can get rid of that virus known as "Torres". While not as bad since "Sleepy Sanchez" was shipped off, he's a LOSER. Swings from the heels when a single will do, goes down the first baseline like, like, ME... No "game clock", can't run the base paths, and his concentration is about at the level of a five year old. Maybe we can package him with Donaldson? HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The Hammer of God said...

That stupid Cashfuck almost did something right, when he tried to trade away Torres. It's just too bad that it didn't happen. Right now, how-eva, Torres is probably our best leadoff man. Especially when he thinks contact.

Oasisdave said...

For myself I'd have to throw the Doyers in there as well. Probably because I'm surrounded by their bandwagon fans. At least I get to rub it in when they choke all the time though

Oasisdave said...

How can anyone that structures a team as poorly as Cashole does still have a job? Yeah I know, just get to the playoffs, rinse and repeat