Tuesday, October 4, 2022

The Magic Loogie (For your between-game conspiracy theory entertainment)

 

So, the first time any major-league team with players named both "Oswald" AND "Oswaldo" goes to play in Dallas...they both hit home runs?

In back-to-back innings?????

Mooooore than coincidence?????????????

I don't think so.

Consider:

Just before Oswaldo Cabrera hit his home run in the first, a mysterious figure in the bleachers opened up a black umbrella.

WHAT could that have been?  Except a sinister signal of some sort!

Okay, actually, it was a hot dog vendor at Columbus Circle who opened up his cart umbrella. Because it was raining.

But still!

At the very moment when Oswald Peraza  came to the plate in the SECOND inning, Dallas police arrested three tramps, who were standing suspiciously around the first-base coaching box.

One of these men was later discovered to be Woody Harrelson's father.

The other two? Former bullpen coaches for the New York Mets. 

You tell me there's nothing suspicious about that!

Later, it was revealed that one of them was in fact actress Shelly Long from Cheers, and the other two were pickle ball devotees.

But still!

Do you realize how many potential witnesses from the New York Yankees and the Texas Rangers organizations have died suspicious, premature deaths since the Oswald/Oswaldo blasts?

Well, none, actually.

But did you know that both young Yankees infielders had worked for years as special agents for the CIA?

Except that they hadn't. But that means nothing when I tell you that Josh Donaldson is still a jerk!

Anyway, don't believe me???? Well, just read any of the instant books on the subject!








You be the judge!!!  

(Hey, I wrote, "Judge." Moooore than coincidence, brain? You tell me!)


10 comments:

Publius said...

LIBRA deserves better. Great book.

Publius said...

James Ellroy's AMERICAN TABLOID is a good fit in that group, if a novel's required. Wild ride.

Hazel Motes said...

Did anyone ever see Cashman and David Ferrie in the same room together?

BTR999 said...

If you’re tired of the wild JFK conspiracy theories (by now you should be), try “Case Closed” by Gerald Posner. He debunks all the common theories, and lays out nothing but researched facts while acknowledging all the investigatory shortcomings, with an especial emphasis on Oswald (not Cabrera or Peraza). It’s more even handed and definitive then anything I’ve ever read on the subject.

Publius said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Publius said...

Mailer's OSWALD'S TALE is good too. A statement against interest, one might say.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Agreed, BTR!

I got to know Posner a little bit, years ago, and he genuinely went into it an agnostic—probably the last Kennedy Assassination agnostic in the country.

He did an amazing job of research, pored over every inch of evidence, and concluded...Oswald did it. Alone. Or as Norman Mailer—a reluctant anti-conspiracist—put it, Oswald thought of himself as a significant historical actor. And he was.

Now, if we can only get Oswald and Oswaldo to think of themselves as all-stars...
.

13bit said...

the grassy knoll in right field, the magic fastball, the links to the mob and the - GULP - Cubans...

holy fuck, batgirl, it's all adding up.

Cashman may have hours left to live at this rate.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Oh, please, oh please...

NOT seriously. Not wishing death on anyone. Just...an offer from an Indonesian badminton team that he cannot refuse.

james said...

Libra deserve better. One of these men was later discovered to be Woody Harrelson's father. Now its time to avail power only dispatch servicesfor more details.