Thursday, October 6, 2022

The Baseball Gods Are Anti-Semitic and Other Year End Thoughts

The Baseball Gods Are Anti-Semitic

So, I slog through game after game waiting for Aaron Judge to hit 62, my, “Down Goes Pepi!” comment loaded and ready to go, and nothing.  

Suzyn Waldman and I sit in shul, honoring our religion, and that’s when he does it.  

It’s a good thing Michael Kay and John Sterling aren’t observant but don’t think the Baseball Gods weren’t trying to take us all out.  Bastards.

Cole Should Start Game Three

Cortez. Sevy. Cole. Who here disagrees?  And, should the Yankees be foolish enough to have Cole start Game One – DO NOT start Donaldson. It seems like the Cole home runs come right after Donaldson “miscues”. Start Gold Glove 3B IKF when he pitches. Play Peraza at short.

Actually, that would be my preference for every game from here on out.  

Does anyone else here, watching YES, notice that pretty much every game the booth reminds us what a great year Donaldson is having defensively? 

If it were true, they wouldn’t have to keep telling us.  I mean they don’t say, “You know… Aaron Judge has hit a lot of home runs this year.”

Plus, we all know they tried to trade him at the deadline.

If The Yankees Are Really Trying to Win

The lineup would be... (This is not the batting order.)

1B Rizzo

2B DJ (or Gleyber but only because DJ is less than right now)

SS PERAZA

3B IKF (or DJ) Not Donaldson.

LF  Cabrera

CF Bader

RF Judge

C  Either one.

DH Stanton (I guess – hopefully we get the locked in one)

Carpenter and Benintendi are not coming back.

Put Talion and German in the pen with Effros, Lasagna, and Wandy (who will come back). Give them ALL the meaningful innings.

Chappy should cash in the other half of his tattoo parlor BOGO Groupon and call it a year.  

 


25 comments:

The Archangel said...

I think that some smart, urbane, or at least suburban, person here should write a cogent, pithy post as to why Cole should not be the Game 1 pitcher.
Feel free to begin with the concept that he is NOT an Ace and led the AL in dingers allowed.

The Hammer of God said...

The Baseball Gods Are Anti-Semitic: Uhhhhm ... I'm not gonna go there. LOL!

Starters: Definitely, Cole can't start the first two. He hasn't earned it. It would be suicide to start him in Game 1. He might pitch twice in the best of five. Two games of blowout losses would sink any team. You might even argue for an "opener" in the Cole start. Keep 'em guessing, mess up their preparations.

Lineup: I agree with this too. And let's hope BaBoone doesn't have Judge leading off.

ranger_lp said...

That lineup is too intelligent for analytics...never will happen...

JM said...

Cole will pitch the first game. Logic, as always, be damned. Boone does not operate on logic, nor does Cashman.

Publius said...

We're that down on Gleyber, huh? He hit in September.

Doug K. said...

Pub,

Gleyber is fine but I don't like his internal clock on the DP and he's easily one of the worst baserunners I've ever seen.

So I'd rather it be the former GG DJ. That said, I'm OK with him.

Jaraxle said...

The rotation will go Cole-Cortes-Severino. Why? Split up the fastball heavy pitchers with the crafty lefty. If Cole implodes in game one you have Cortes to even it up. Do you really want Cole in game three if they’re tied a game apiece?

Doug K. said...

Jaraxle,

It's best of five. So losing game three doesn't matter as much. (Although it still matters because...duh.) :)

Jaraxle said...

Doug,
Do you have that much confidence with this team winning back to back elimination games? If we’re going on the theory that Cole is the most vulnerable pitch him
In one of the first two

Doug K. said...

Jaraxle,


If two guys are going to pitch twice in a five game set I'd rather it was Cortes and Sevy. I wouldn't want to see Cole twice.

You pitch your best in game one and game two. That's why Cole is game three.

AboveAverage said...

This plays directly into that age-old, long standing debate:

Are baseball bats circumcised or uncircumcised, and if they're not - should they be if only to be used on the high holy days by players who choose to do so.

And since beer is sorta Kosher anyway by default, we don't need Kevin Youkilis and a team of rabbinical brew masters inspecting what goes into every tap at every MLB ballpark (even though Kevin Youkilis' Loma Brewing company's Jew Jitsu Hazy IPA is pretty tasty stuff.

Matt P. said...

I like Gleyber for offense. Can always sub out for D and base running late if a lead.

I'd like to note an unforeseen issue due to this new 3 game 1st round format. Yes, it will "burn" the top 2 starters for both teams so they cant start off in the next round as well. Sounds like a great advantage for the bye teams right? But then, as we face in all likelihood their 3 and 4 in the first two games, let's say Cole and/or Nestor don't take care of business. Then we go into the AWAY ballpark having to face their Ace and number 2 against our 3 and 4. See, it maps out different than the usual mano y mano approach of ace vs ace and so on.

Because of this, I am ok with Cole starting against a 3 in game 1. And then Sevy going in game 3 vs an Ace.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Doug K...you are only half correct about the juju gods being anti-semitic regarding Michael Kay. Because he's only half Jewish. Danny Aiello was his uncle.
However, those godly life forces made up for that by gifting Milton Berle with what was purported to be the biggest schwantz in Hollywood.

Doug, you'll like this story:

I once went out with a beautiful blonde shiksa who was very kinky. Not too bright but very sexy. So she surprised me by asking if she could attend the Yom Kippur services with me. I agreed but she said that she would accompany me but only if she could ride in a limo. I told her that was frowned upon during a high holy day. She insisted. When I asked why she said " Well, I've been told by my Jewish girlfriends that on Yom Kippur you get to blow the chauffeur"!

BADA BING!!

Carl J. Weitz said...

Speaking of playoff games, will there be a bar meet up in Manhattan at some point this October? I remember 2 years ago during the pandemic, people were afraid to gather in a public place which certainly made sense. I believe that 13 Bit and Horace were researching sports bars within walking (or cab) distance from Grand Central and Penn Station.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Carl, THANK YOU for bringing this up, I'd also be interested in an official/unofficial IIHIIFIIC Manhattan meet up!

AboveAverage said...

A couple of recommendations:

The Bar Downstairs at the Andaz on 5th Avenue (corner of 41st and 5th) across the main branch of the library is a great place for an expensive mixed adult beverage. There is also STOUT NYC at 60 East 41st street - more of a brew pub and restaurant.

C... said...

Your making me think. Interesting

ZacharyA said...

Our catchers in the second half:

Jose Trevino .247/.274/.358 (.632 OPS)
Kyle Higashioka .292/.325/.478 (.803 OPS)

13bit said...

Carl, we did indeed discuss a sports bar meetup. And that could be a cool option and if I am in town, I'd love to attend, but I would not be the best person to set that up.

BUT...

Whether or not I can attend in person, I could set up a zoom meetup for one of these games. People could have their TVs on, maybe muted in the background or on low and have their computers or their phones on the zoom room, where we could cavort, kvetch and make assorted animal noises - either simultaneously or at staggered intervals.

If there is interest, please let me know at the following email address and I'll get something going.

motelsign (@) protonmail.com
obviously, delete the parentheses and spaces in the address

paul, aka "Mister Bit" to you

TheWinWarblist said...

I don't want to see Colace once, but what can we do? Kidnap him?

TheWinWarblist said...

Oh, I now have tickets for games 1 and 5.

Carl J. Weitz said...

My pleasure Ken.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Yes, Higgy has gotten jiggy!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Glad to hear it, Winnie. And an interesting debate.

I like Doug's starting lineup ideas. And I would put them in a lineup that goes something like this:

Gleyber, 2B (If LeMahieu is not available)
Cabrera,
Judge, RF
Rizzo, 1B
Stanton, DH
Peraza, SS
Higgy, C
Falafel, 3B
Tots, CF

And yes: start Cortes, Sevvy, and Cole. OR...make Sevvy the closer, and stick Taillon in the rotation...

HoraceClarke66 said...

But of course, they won't do a damned thing like that.

Of course Donaldson must start at third, because he's paid a lot of money, and of course Cole must be the no. 1 pitcher because that's his role, and both he and Cashman will be insulted if that's not the case.

Like almost every football coach, the Yanks would rather lose by the book than win.