Saturday, October 22, 2022

The power of 6.

Your New York Yankees have now played nine straight games in which they recorded 6 or fewer hits.

That's the last two games of the regular season, plus all seven playoff games so far.

According to that irrefutable source, the internet, that's a franchise record.

Not to mention the fact that, of the 54 outs recorded versus the Astros, 30—or nearly 56 percent—have been strikeouts.

That is all ye know of these Yankees, and of contemporary baseball, and all ye need to know.



The Archangel said...

Maybe we can close the roof on Yankee Stadium?

edb said...

Do not worry, wait for the Homerun. Mark the words of Mike Fishman and Genius Cashman. How has that gone?

Carl J. Weitz said...

This headline for a story in the NY Post explains why Boone is the worst manager in my lifetime:



No adjustments by the hitters to what the Astros pitchers are trying to do?

Maybe he wants to book an early tee time for next Tuesday.
Fuck Boone and Fuck Cashman.
Oh yeah....and Fuck Hal too!

The Hammer of God said...

"Well, since we get so few hits, we need to swing the bats even harder and with greater launch angle. That will increase the chances of hitting more home runs. When you only get 2 hits a game, better make sure that they're both home runs. That maximizes your chance of winning."

- from a genius Yankee fan on another blog, circa 2010

The Hammer of God said...

@Carl J. Weitz, BaBoone and everyone else has their hunting and fishing gear all packed and ready to go. According to Susan Waldman, they all read nothing but hunting and fishing magazines. Doubtless they spend all their time talking and thinking about their next hunting and fishing expedition.

AboveAverage said...

Line up posted and BOY ‘O’ BOY is it a REVELATION!

Mildred Lopez said...

I watched the Phillies last night and post game the talking face was interviewing Jean Segura, who had the big hit (two strikes, two outs, two on, tie game) and he said in that spot he was just trying to get his bat on the ball, make something happen, so he cut down on his swing. Not exact words, just paraphrasing. Novel approach I know. He singled, drove in the two runs, put the Phillies up 2 and that was that.

Joe of AZ said...

We're fucked

The Hammer of God said...


Aaron Judge and Brian Cashman are sitting in the Yankee dugout, wistfully staring into space. It has been 3.5 hours since the disappearance of Yankee manager Aaron Boone. NYPD has put out an all points bulletin. Suddenly, Judge and Cashman hear a tiny voice from somewhere:

"Help me! Hellllpppp me! Hellllllllpppppppppp me!"

Looking around, they see a what appears to be a fly with a white head in a corner of the dugout. It has been caught on a large spider web. Looking closer, they discover, to their un horror, that the fly has the shriveled up face and white hair of ... Aaron Boone! Only he has aged at least fifty years!

"Help me! Hellllpppp me! Hellllllllpppppppppp me!"

As they watch in horror, a huge spider crosses the web towards the hapless Boone-headed fly.

The tiny voice screams "Arrrgggggghhhhhhh!"

It is just about to close in on the fly for the kill, when Aaron Judge, no longer able to stand watching the abomination, picks up a water cooler and crushes the entire horrifying diorama.

The two shocked men sit down on the bench again. Cashman says "So the rumors are true. Recently, I'd heard that Booney had been experimenting with sleep deprivation by injecting fly DNA into himself, in the hopes that sleep deprivation might cause a condition called super ingenuity enhancement, a temporary elevation of genius level thinking capable of seeing into the future, a kind of clairvoyance. That would enable him to come up with a winning lineup. And it explains why I saw him the other night in his office attached to the ceiling, upside down."

Cashman continues "But searching for the future can be dangerous. And, by a deviant process called teletransmutation, it appears that Booney accidentally turned himself into a half human half fly."

Judge, still shaken badly, replies "Booney ... genius? I don't know about that. I think he killed our season with stupid moves."

Cashman, seeing an opportunity, exclaims "Yes, he killed our season .... but you ... you just killed a half human, half fly. You're just as guilty as he was."

Judge, suddenly aware of his own peril, replies "Yes, yes, you're right. I'm just as guilty."

Cashman, producing a pack of papers, continues "I will forget everything we saw here right now. If you sign this Hal Steinbrenner approved, 8 year, 360 million dollar contract ...."

HoraceClarke66 said...

In the words of Count Floyd, Hammer, that's scary stuff!

But no scarier than what we are likely to see on the field today.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Meanwhile, Syracuse leading No. 5, undefeated Clemson, late in the third quarter, 21-10!

Go, Upstate!

HoraceClarke66 said...

That lineup may well be the worst yet. Nope, don't stick the left-handed power hitter between the two righties. Nope, that won't work.

And why, why, why put Carpenter back out there? Just to humiliate him?

The Hammer of God said...

So we are left hoping that Gerrit Cole, the 360 million dollar ace, who has not been an ace for most of this season, will continue to pitch well in the postseason and that Yankee hitters will get a few clutch hits to pull one out of the bag today.

I hope we won't see the dreaded Immaculate Strikeout Game by the Yankee lineup. Yeah, the one where 27 outs are recorded on 81 pitches for a perfect game, with 27 strikeouts on the minimum possible number of pitches, 9 immaculate innings in one game.

Or the dreaded Off Speed Extravaganza, where ASS-stro pitchers throw nothing but breaking pitches for the entire game. Not a fastball in sight! (Remember the one where Lance McCullers Jr. relieved in the middle of a playoff game, and he threw nothing but sliders for the entire outing to close out the game. Something like 50 or 60 consecutive sliders. And the Yankee hitters never touched one.) Maybe today, Dusty Baker will have his pitchers throw nothing but off-speed from the get-go, maybe 130 off speed pitches, without a fastball.

God save us from the fearsome Norsemen and the dreaded plague of the ASS-stros!

JM said...

We're doomed.

mik said...

The only saving grace is Aroldis Chapman won't be on the mound with that stupid smirk on his face after giving up the winning run.

mik said...
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