Sunday, April 24, 2011

No THUH? Sterling at the Bat

The outlook looked impressive for the Yankee nine that day:
The scoreboard said fifteen to three, with one more ball to play.
And so when Buddy Carlyle coaxed a measily fly to right,
Every Yankee fan across the world foretold the coming byte.

For Sterling, mighty Sterling, was attending to the mike,
And every radio listener knew the cadence he would strike,
A Yankee win meant one great call, all knew what would come next,
John Sterling's famous warble: The Yankees' oral sex.

Twas a smile on Sterling's countenance, a gleam in his brown eyes,
He called the out with clarity, then put his voice to rise,
"Ballgame over, Yankees win," the silver throat did peep.
A baritone heard round the globe, each word propeled by Jeep.

But then the grand old orator went silent in the night.
Even Suyzn in her clubhouse knew something wasn't right.
The Yankee game had ended, a sterling Yankee day.
But Sterling, mighty Sterling... he had nothing more to say...

Oh, somewhere in this favored land, beyond ESPN;
Each scoreboard shows a tally; each prayer has an "Amen."
And somewhere men are laughing, and children shout, "Uh-huh!"
But there's no win in Yankeeville — John Sterling gave no THUH.

Yes. It shaped up as a perfect night: Big Yankee win.* Gardner homers. CC pitches well. A-Rod, Jorge, the whole middle hits. It should have been a happy Resurrection Eve, with children across theYankiverse laying snug in their beds, awaiting the jolly old Easter Bunny's arrival down the chimney, bringing candy for all.

But this Easter morning, there is a stark red blemish on the purple horizon of Yankee peace and hope.

Last night, John did not deliver a THUH.

He said, "Ballgame over, the Yankees win."

That's right. No THUH.

today, I will go into the week's MLB audio and add the two missing THUHs from earlier to the THUH Project. But I will find no THUH from last night. Because last night, there was no THUH.

That's right. The Easter Bunny stole our THUH.

* Every Yankee win is a big Yankee win.


Unknown said...

Brilliant poem!

Billy Graham said...


Anonymous said...

Buck Foston says,

All them homers, all the runs. Sterling was worn out.