Thursday, March 19, 2015

10 things Syracuse University should do to rehabilitate its academic reputation

1. Assign homework.

2. Take attendance in class. Let them know they are being watched.

3. Hold pop quizzes, making sure that students read their assigned textbooks.

4. Have monitors in the hall, occasionally checking on bathroom passes.

5. While on the subject of bathroom privileges, remove the doors to the boys and girls rooms, so they can't smoke without people smelling it!

6. Bring back spanking! These hooligans need to know who is in charge. Let the deans show who is boss, by bringing out the old hickory switch.

7. Have Jim Boeheim, in his final year, go from school to school and receive special gifts, such as cowboy boots and rocking chairs, in special ceremonies.

8. Break off all ties with YMCAs across America. They have proven to be untrustworthy.

9. Bring back Fab Melo and teach him to be a renowned brain surgeon.

10. NO TALKING IN THE CAFETERIA! And food fights will be quashed immediately.


KD said...

11. Buy a bigger sign to hang in Yankee Stadium.
12. Go to Queens and swap out Mr. Mets baseball head with an oversized orange.

KD said...

13. New theme: Party Now for the Future!