Sunday, July 23, 2017

On a long night in Seattle, the chickens come home to roost

Well, it finally happened. Last night, Seattle's emerging star outfielder, Ben Gamel, poked a sharp, flaming stick in the eye of Brian "Shoe-in-for-Cooperstown" Cashman, while the Yankiverse got to ponder four more years of Jacoby Ellsbury. Gamel homered and scored the winning run in another CIA torture tactic defeat - this one being especially gruesome, because it took extra innings for the full pineapple to be successfully inserted. 

Last August 31, Cash traded Gamel - the International League Player of the Year - to the Mariners for Juan De Paula and Jio Orozco. Yep, THE Juan De Paula and Jio Orozco. Juan is currently 2-3 with a 5.25 ERA for Staten Island in the NYP League. Jio is 3-4 with a 4.95 ERA at Charleston. The most hopeful thing you can say about either is that they are still 19. Basically, we gave Gamel away for two dirt league dice rolls, because Gamel had no place in that All Star Yankee outfield, where - as stated above - we get to ponder four more years of you-know-who (and I'm not referring to Trump.) 

Last night, Girardi all but confirmed that Ellsbury is the fourth Yankee outfielder, not exactly the most alarming statement ever uttered, considering that Jacoby is not hitting for average or power, and has a Venus de Milo arm. Nor does this factor in the return of Aaron Hicks, sometime this decade, which should make Ellsbury the fifth outfielder - except nobody truly believes this. Everybody expects the Yankees to send Clint Frazier back to Scranton (if they don't trade him for Sonny Gray or Yu Darvish on their absurd wild card goose chase) because he'll need to "play every day." In the same way we are chained to Head Caseley at first base and Todd ".204" Frazier - (who air-mailed one last night from third) - we have Ellsbury in center, appearing like a pop-up web ad that cannot be minimized or x-ed out. 

But wait... we haven't discussed next year's Ben Gamel. Currently at Scranton, poor Jake Cave is tearing up the International League and surely awaiting his own Independence Day, around August 31. Cave, 24, is hitting .361 with 9 home runs. If he keeps it up, the Yankees could sport back-to-back IL Players of the Year, with both being traded for rookie league chum. 

But wait, there's more! Also raking in Scranton is Billy McKinney, 22. In 69 ABs, he's hitting .319 with 4 home runs. A former highly touted first-rounder, McKinney came over in the trade for Arodis Chapman last July, and he seems to have found himself. Oh well, a few years in Scranton ought to straighten him out. Or maybe we can convert him into 19-year-olds. You can never have enough 19-year-olds. In fact, the only trouble with 19-year-olds is that they eventually become 23, and then you have to trade them for more 19-year-olds.

Or, the Yankees can do to Cave and McKinney what they did to Rob Refsnyder and Mason Williams - which is to bury them in Scranton so deeply and demoralizingly - (I know some of you don't share my faith in Refsnyder, but I say he should have gotten a chance at 2B, his only real opportunity) - until they play out their minor league careers. And the funniest part? This is not necessarily the sign of an organization overflowing its banks with talent - it's just a front office that values veteran contracts over youth. And of course, the Yankee-owned media praises every move as pure genius. And when Cashman someday gets inducted into Cooperstown, as the sportswriters suggest, maybe he'll wear a Seattle cap?

8 comments:

Local Bargain Jerk said...


There have been a lot of words written this week. I just have three.

Last night sucked.

Anonymous said...

Yup, LBJ, the strategy last night was sucky, and the execution of same was sickening...

duque, you're absolutely correct, and the YES-men were at it last night again, only THIS time praising the genius of Mgr. of the Year (hell knows, what year), Joey Blue-Binders. I threw up pineapple-juice (not sure how that happened, but(t)...

Please see my disgruntled 3 am remarks on yesterday's also-fine piece, to spare me from re-typing them here. LB (No J)

Anonymous said...

BEN GAMEL, A MAN POSSESSED, WILL BE BENT ON TORTURING US FOR YEARS TO COME.

HE KILLED US LAST NIGHT, AND LOOKS LIKE A DAMN GOOD PLAYER.

GOOD LEFTY BAT, AND SPEEDY TOO!

NICE WORK CASH.

Tom said...

wow! yankee mgt can't see the forest for the trees.

I go up and down on all this. some days I think, what the hell, they know more than I do because this is their profession and they know how to make talent evaluations and have actually seen the guys play -- supposedly.

then, you see Gamel and Phelps and who knows who else kicking our ass up and down the street with an extra serving of relish.

you gotta be kidding me! at least the Fake News New York Times is taking Cashman ever-so-gently to task about Gamel and Pazos. But, please, somebody tell me what Cashman has done that merits anything but a 30-day severance package. Overpriced, washed-up veterans get the money, and exciting young talent is never ready for the The Show in New York because our fans are the most demanding and will not tolerate anything but a championship contender so we have to sign proven talents who can stand up to the pressure cooker that is the magical New York media market where champions are forged in the Valley of Heroes. and on and on we all could go with this self-defeating mythology.



Ken of Brooklyn said...

" On and on we go with this self-defeating mythology",,,, VERY well said Tom!!!!!!!!!!!

John M said...

Todd Carter. Genius, Anonymous.

Why did we replace a meh third baseman with an even more meh third baseman? And Gove the former playing time at first that Cooper should be getting?

This has to be the dumbest fucking baseball organization in history. Incredible.

John M said...

Give, not Gove. Wtf is a Gove, spell check?

Anonymous said...

WELL WE FINALLY WON A SERIES TODAY, THANK GOD.

CAP-ITAL VIEWS:

1.) CLINT FRAZIER IS ALREADY OUR BEST CLUTCH HITTER.
HE HAD BETTER NOT BE SENT TO SCRANTON WHEN THE STILL SUDDENLY OVERRATED
AARON HICKS COMES BACK, OR ELSE WE HAVE THE DOPIEST BASEBALL BRASS IN AMERICA.

2.) TODD CARTER LOOKS LIKE HE CAN'T GET AN RBI IF HIS LIFE DEPENDED ON IT.
TODAY IN THE 9TH, WE REALLY COULD HAVE USED AN EXTRA INSURANCE RUN. MAN ON 3RD,
1 OUT, LEFT HANDER ON THE MOUND..... STRIKE 3..... AWFUL.

3.) GIRARDI JUST CAN'T HELP HIMSELF..... HE DOESN'T REALIZE, THE MORE RELIEVERS HE
BRINGS INTO THE GAME, THE GREATER THE CHANCE ONE OF THEM WILL BE OFF, AND WE
WILL BLOW ANOTHER ONE..... I POINTED OUT THAT CHAD GREEN HAS NOT BEEN HIT BY ANY
TEAM FOR A MONTH NOW.... SO TODAY GIRARDI BRINGS HIM IN IN THE 4TH INNING. GREEN
AGAIN WAS UNHITTABLE, AND SHOCKINGLY, GIRARDI LEFT HIM IN FOR 3 INNINGS,
RESULTING IN 0 RUNS..... THEN BETANCES COMES IN,...HE GOES 1, 2, 3 AND I SAY TO
MYSELF, "LEAVE HIM IN!"..... I FIGURED WITH GREEN BEING SO SUCCESSFUL TODAY IN
MULTIPLE INNINGS, MAYBE HE MAY LEAVE BETANCES IN FOR A 2ND INNING AFTER AN EASY
1, 2, 3 INNING...... HOW RIDICULOUS OF ME!..... OUT COMES DELLIN, IN COMES DAVID
ROBERTSON....MY POINT IS, THERE WAS NO NEED TO USE ANOTHER PITCHER THERE! ...IT
LUCKILY ALL WORKED OUT, BUT FOR THE LAST MONTH AND A HALF, IT HASN'T! GOOD THING
CHAPMAN PICKED OFF THAT DOPE LEADING OFF FIRST, OR ELSE I SMELLED ANOTHER
DISASTER.

4.) I'M HAPPY AS HELL AFTER THIS GAME TODAY.
WE WON.
SHIT SOX LOST
TAMPA LOST
METS LOST
WE HIT ANOTHER SUPERFECTA.
LOVE THOSE SUPERFECTAS!