Saturday, December 2, 2017

The Aaron Boone "MEH!" Syndrome

All day yesterday, I secretly grinned at the idea that the Yankees, baseball's most WASPY, white-bread, autocratic, banker-blowing team - (as opposed to the Redsocks, who are simply the whitest) - might hire Hensley "Bam Bam" Meullens as manager. What hope it would inspire! A black manager of the Yankees! A guy who speaks five languages! A fellow named "Bam Bam," who knows exactly what it's like to have been a touted Yankee prospect. How could we not be New York's darlings - America's team - in 2018? How could it not become a watershed moment in Yankee history?

Well... so much for that. And selling Meullens as "runner-up" doesn't cut it. (Worse, it smacks of tokenism.) Hal Steinbrenner had a chance to change the Yankiverse forever. He climbed to the precipice, looked out at a new future, and then turned around and walked home to grope his golden calves. Instead of a groundbreaking moment, a belated leap into this new millennium, we chose another suburban-born, stock-issued GQ model, a network talking head whose brother belongs on Fox News, if not Info-Wars, all of which is slightly less status quo than bringing back Joe Girardi. We chose Aaron Boone... a big, resounding "MEH!"

And it dawned on me... this is why you don't hold a public "American Idol" competition when hiring a manager. If the Yankees had signed Aaron Boone two days after Girardi's firing, I'd still be cheering. Now, we will always compare him to Bam Bam or Carlos Beltran, or Chris Woodward, or all the others... and wonder what might have been. It won a few back pages, but this reality TV show process didn't do Boone any favors. Cashman ought to think about that for next time.

But... wait a minute... I need to back up here. I cannot go into a frenzy on this. Last time I screamed bloody murder over a managerial hiring, his name was Joe Torre. Remember the tab headline: "Say it ain't Joe?" Alphonso - back in his pre-blogging days - was absolutely apoplectic. We felt as if old George had pissed down our throats - firing Buck Showalter to bring in a cheese sandwich. Later, when St. Joe was replaced by Joe Girardi, it seemed a great move; Girardi looked like an organizational breath of fresh air. (And let's face it: he had some damn good years... just not lately.) The upshot here: None of us should hold it against Aaron Boone simply because he is not nicknamed "Bam Bam." And let's give him benefit of the doubt.

Still, I cannot dismiss a lingering sense that the Yankees are more concerned with on-camera skills than dugout instincts. Considering that Larry Rothschild remains pitching coach, and we will surely sign some strategy wonk with managerial experience, Boone's key responsibilities will be to appear in post-game news conferences, on Suyzn's "Manager's Show" and to host weekly half-hour gab sessions with Meredith Marakovits, where they visit pizza parlors and creepy weirdos who collect model trains. Boone is a professional talker. He's at home in front of the camera.

Once again, I wonder if this is a move more to placate YES - majority-owned by Rupert Murdoch and more highly valued than the richest team in baseball. This move will please the YES front office fraternity gropers, and put the Yankees one more generation away from their greatest ever in-game technician: Billy Martin. Nobody could ring more from a team than Billy, yet he had so many personality disorders that you couldn't sell his TV show without hiring Alan Dershowitz to handle the legal defense. He was the classic example of a pre-TV era manager. Today, they look less for a Billy Martin than a Ryan Seacrest. Remember Donald Trump's early boasts about finding a vice presidential candidate "straight from central casting?" Well, we just hired our Mike Pence. 

So, we got our guy. Make no mistake: As of now, I'm rooting for Boonie. (His brother Bret can stay home.) This is no time for disunity. Long may Aaron III reign! But, ahh, what might have been...

10 comments:

HoraceClarke66 said...

What an uninspired choice.

Meulens, yes. Even Al Pedrique, the guy who knew these guys coming up.

Aaron Boone? Ah, Cashman back to being Cashman.

Anonymous said...

He hit that home run. Nust count for something, some good will.

Stang said...

Booney is a True Yankee and hasn't done anything wrong yet. While I agree that rooting for him as manager will be like rooting for Eric Trump, the True Yankee we should be mad at right now is in Miami: Marlins fire scout who is recovering from colon cancer surgery.

Stang said...

Also, if Booney keeps being Yank Aaron on both back pages, what are they going to call Judge?

This whole thing is a mess.

Anonymous said...

I JUST HAVE ONE QUESTION?

HOW MANY LANGUAGES DOES AARON BOONE SPEAK FLUENTLY?

I SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW, BUT IF CASHMAN WAS REALLY WORRIED ABOUT "COMMUNICATION", HE WOULD HAVE NAMED "BAM-BAM" THE NEXT MANAGER.

THE YOUNGER PEOPLE I KNOW KEEP TELLING ME A MANAGER DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING ANYMORE, AND IT'S THE GM THAT RUNS THE TEAM.

I MAY SOUND NAIVE HERE, BUT HOW CAN THAT BE ON A DAILY BASIS?

162 GAMES?

DOES THE GM GO TO EVERY CITY THE TEAM TRAVELS TOO? (NO)

IS THE GM IN CONTACT WITH THE MANAGER "IN-GAME, ALL GAME", EVERY GAME? (I WOULD THINK NOT).

DOES THE GM MAKE ALL THE PITCHING CHANGES "IN-GAME", EVERY GAME FOR THE MANAGER? (I WOULD THINK NOT).

SOMEDAY IN THE NOT TOO DISTANT FUTURE, A BRILLIANT STATISTICIAN, OR A SIMPLETON, WILL FIGURE OUT IF YOU REPLACE HUNDREDS OF STRIKEOUTS, WITH THE ABILITY TO MAKE CONSISTENT CONTACT, YOUR TEAM WILL WIN MORE GAMES.

THEN MAYBE THE MADNESS WILL CEASE, AND WE CAN GET BACK TO REAL BASEBALL.

GO AHEAD, CALL ME A DINOSAUR......

......BUT WHAT IF I'M RIGHT?

ranger_lp said...

@anon all-caps...they have Skype and Messenger and FacePalm...I mean FaceTime so Brian doesn't have to be there. There is this other invention called TV so Brian can watch the game in realtime and not rely on The Master to fill him in on the game...wouldn't that be rich...Cashman relying on The Master on radio to make a decision in a game if a TV wasn't available...hey anyone can be manager in 2018...

Anonymous said...

The Yanks just signed they're McAdoo :(

13bit said...

I was originally going to photoshop a photo of Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy - Edgar with Cashman's face and McCarthy with Boone's, but it was taking too long and I changed my mind.

I then was thinking about how we're in the era of the driverless car - soon to be, anyway - and that's a little like what's going on here, as well, but that was a bit tortured, the reasoning, etc.

I then realized that this is maybe the way that Cashman is finally going to be able to manage the team, himself. How many times did he watch a game and itch, ache and yearn to make the moves? Do we really think Boone is going to have any kind of leash, even a short one?

He's a front man. Cash will be pulling the levers. If they win, he gets credit for choosing Boone. If they lose, well, Boone is standing out in the middle of the train tracks, naked and shivering by himself. That's the way it is. Must be nice to be Cashman. The only thing I STILL want to know is what the fuck Dandy Randy Levine does when he's at work? Is this the ultimate no-show job of all time? Sorry to digress like that. He is becoming a minor fixation of mine, just as Alabania used to be in the 70s, before they "opened up" a bit and like North Korea was, before it became cool for everyone to be interested in North Korea.

Randy Levine IS the North Korea of the Yankee universe.

We're going to get so tired of winning under Boone, I can feel it already.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I dunno...I seem to recall that when Bill Veeck had a promotion when he owned the St. Louis Browns, wherein the fans could vote on all the manager's moves by holding up signs, such "Bunt" or "Hit Away." The Browns, an awful team as usual, won that game.

The point is, important as strategy is in baseball, it's not like, say, football or even basketball. Judging by Joe Torre's years, keeping everybody motivated and harmonious over eight months, plus dealing with the NY press, is much the bigger part of the job.

Maybe Boone can do that. I thought this was a poor appointment at first, but I've read a couple of interesting things about his "communications skills," so who knows?

Isiyku Abdulahi said...


I really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via believelovespelltemple@gmail.com a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.