Why are Yankee spring stats like the coronavirus?

Because we still don't have enough data to know anything for certain.

Here is, in essence, what we do have: the Yankee team stats, minus the Kratzes and Amburgeys. Over four games - one week in the reality TV life of an exhibition team - here are the data. Do with it what you wish. I suggest wrapping carp.

Thoughts? Seriously, why bother? The most significant stats, by far, are for Aaron Judge: zeros, across the board. (By the way, DJ LeMahieu is 2-10, and Gary Sanchez 0-3; neither made the screen-grab. That's life in February.) 

Yes, it's still February - an elongated month. Camps opened 14 days ago, though it seems like - well - two whole weeks. In that period, the Death Star has:

1) lost its No. 2 starter through June
2) lost its newly elevated No. 2 starter for the year
3) voiced its opinions on the Astros scandal
4) welcomed Gerrit Cole
5) touted a gaggle of young, no-name pitchers, most of whom will play in Scranton.
6) lost its opening day DH
7) pretended nothing is wrong with its injury-prone star RF, who has yet to swing a bat.

Four key players are already either out, or waiting for a mystery ailment to cure itself. Until Judge plays, doubts about his shoulder - and maybe his metabolism - will swirl around him. What visited us last year - the injury Babadook, that is - has returned. 

Yesterday, the Yankees announced what weirdly came off as good news: Domingo German - of the 81 game suspension - was not hurt in a car accident somewhere in the Dominican Republic. This would be great news, if the team had a shard of credibility on the matter of injuries. The fact is, the Yankees do not feel compelled to disclose such matters to the public. They must fear a HIPAA violation somewhere. Information is power, and Brian Cashman does not give it away to strangers in the cheap seats. All we know is that German was in a crash, and the Yankees are poo-pooing it, much like the way slurring Larry Kudlow does the virus. Believing anybody conjures up memories of the early years of Wikipedia, as depicted in verse:

Wikipedia, 
The perfect media!
Facts for you,
And they might be true!

Likewise, we really know nothing about Giancarlo Stanton's strained musculature, which now mirrors his strained relations with the Yankee fan base. If Stanton ever returns - last year, he barely phoned himself in - he will be met with a chorus of boos, the likes of which would otherwise be reserved for the buzzer-boy, Jose Altuve. Every swing of the bat, every legged-out infield hit, every slide into third - and Stanton could be gone for another season. He's like a show car that cannot be driven, a sacred chalice that cannot be drank from. And soon, he will become Hal Steinbrenner's rented mule, his go-to excuse for not investing in players. Already, Derek Jeter looks like a genius for jettisoning the guy, and Yankee fans feel betrayed that Derek could have done such evil to his old team. Et tu, Jete?

In less than a week, we have come to rally behind an ascending young outfield of Frazier, Andujar and Tauchman - with de facto Capt. Gardy manning the middle. The problem? All three corner OFs have had their own injury issues, and if any goes down, it's a long, steep drop to Zack Granite, Estevan Florial and the cast of Home Alone 3: Lost in Tampa. 

We are not yet in a full blown Yankee pandemic. But if the CDC was monitoring us, they might pose the question as not 'if," but "when." It's only been two weeks in the life of an exhibition team. Wow.