Thursday, December 31, 2020

Beards

In reading today's New York Post Sports Section I came across this tidbit:

J.D. Martinez: "I’ll join the Yankees when they let me keep my beard" 

Taking the click bait, it turns out that it was a quick, flip answer to a fan asking when he would join the Yankees. 

However, as humor frequently speaks to a hidden truth, there's something worth looking at here. Not a potential addition of J.D. Martinez but how quickly he went to the facial hair issue. 

Baseball is a sport that embraces its iconoclasts. It is a team sport in the sense that all the players work toward a common goal but unlike football or basket ball or, I suppose soccer (except for the goal part - I've never seen one. Just a lot of back and forth around mid-field until I remember that Maverick is on ME TV.)  baseball's players are not really that reliant on each other in the moment of performance. 

On offense the hitter, much like the cheese, stands alone. The outfielders are separated, the infielders are separated. There's no blocking. No passing, except for the passing of balls (INSERT GARY SANCHEZ JOKE HERE), and I'm sure, no shortage of the passing of wind in the bullpen.

(There are only so many packages of seeds one can eat without their natural cleansing ability coming to to the fore, or in this case the back...)

But to my point, because baseball players don't rely on each other in a more traditional way, the teams can integrate the aforementioned iconoclasts more easily.  

So what does this have to do with JD Martinez's comment?

How many players view coming to the Yankees through the filter of "I will need to change who I am to accommodate their rules?" Rules that don't exist anywhere else in the sport. 

This is a real phenomenon.  Part of my personal journey is a spiritual one and there are a number of religions that were non-starters simply because I couldn't see my self in a bow tie or having to wear button down shirts. 

There will always be players who will shave for money. The article mentioned Johnny Damon, a notorious mercenary, for one. Joe Namath shaved to make a commercial. He also put on panty hose for another. I suspect he would do one for adult diapers at his point. Hey! No disrespect to Joe. A man's gotta eat. 

It's pretty well documented how many Ex-Yankees start growing a beard the day they are traded or sign elsewhere so it seems fair to ask what players are the Yankees not getting because their dress policy is anachronistic at best and fascistic at worse? 

Just as a side note, perhaps the best thing we've got going for us in our negotiations with DJ is how ridiculous he would look in a beard.   

So a couple of questions... 

Do we care? 

Should it change? What if we could get players like Clayton Kershaw?

and 

How much money would it take to shave your beard? (This is for those of us sporting facial hair. If you have other things you would shave for money please keep it to your selves.)

Just askin'.

4 comments:

el duque said...

I'll shave for a dollar.

As for Joe Namath, he will never stop hawking shit. And we will never be free of the Medicare Hot Line commercials, where he yells, "CALL NOW... IT'S FREE!"

TheWinWarblist said...

Doug K. I know not. But I do know that Hal should die; the sooner the better.





DIE HAL, DIE!!!

Mike said...

I used to respect the beard thing as having some semblance of "standards". After they effed with D.A. Mattingly for having a mullet I leaned toward "fuck them". I've never checked into pre-GMS ownership: did Ruppert or Topping or Del Webb or CBS and M. Burke ever have any established dictates against whiskers? Maybe. Don't know. And really don't care? I honestly don't know.

It's almost 2021: if you have the skills to make these assholes pay you millions but don't have the gonads to grow a beard in defiance of their supposed dictates, well, fuck you. Ten million tattoos but not a hint of facial hair? Fuck that, and short BIC while you're at it.

And PLEASE empty that fucking dumpster behind the plate. Oh wait...you're paying MORE to keep that thing full?

Anonymous said...

As a very wise man, a WWII combat vet who built himself up from nothing [my father] said, "they can wear women's underwear on their heads if they can hit." A gem of a man whose love for the Yankees lasted as long as his mind did; 88 years. Yeah, beards are ok,.Just win baby.
The Archangel