(With apologies to Pinky and the Brain and a thanks to DickAllen 1964 for reminding me that Hal’s name is Harold.)
HAROLD: Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?
THE BRAIN: The same thing we do every night, Harold. Try to take over the World Series.
HAROLD: Narf. But Brain, if we do that we could run out of cheese. Couldn’t we just drink tea made from two-day old tea bags while we try to field a competitive product without having to incur the luxury tax?
THE BRAIN: That’s remarkably erudite coming from you.
HAROLD: Narf.
THE BRAIN: Granted sustaining that level of 15% above mediocrity will take some work.
Let me run some numbers…
(Brain pulls out a chalk board and starts figuring.)
Let’s see… By always coming in second on big ticket free agents we give the illusion of trying to get better while refusing to leverage our financial advantages...
We can apply the Hicks blowsum... where we take the aforementioned savings and compound it by never cutting bait when our initial investments prove wrong which would force us to spend more…
Multiply that by the square root root root for the home team if they don’t win it’s OK as long as paid attendance doesn’t drop below 2.5 million…
and increase the merch by abandoning our traditional pinstripes in favor of merchandise the panders to every possible group…
HAROLD: I like the camouflage ones, but I can never find the camel.
BRAIN: Subtract DJ… and carry the team on the backs of a reduced rotation… YES!
HAROLD: You have the answer Brain?
BRAIN: Yes! Basically, we make money because of YES.
HAROLD: Narf.
Closing Theme Song
They're Harold and The Brain
Yes, Harold and The Brain
One is an owner
The other obtains.
They're laboratory mice
Their budgets have been sliced
They're cheapies
They're Harold and The Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain
Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain
Brain.
Before each night is done
Their plan will be complete
By the dawning of the sun
The Yankees can compete.
Their twilight campaign
Is easy to explain.
Make the Wild Card with ease
and keep them in cheese.
They're cheapies
Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain
Narf!
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6 comments:
I know this is good but never watched a moment of the original show. My loss.
M,
The original show (The Animainiacs) is worth watching. While Pinky and the Brain were good, the Animainics themselves were why I tuned in.
Aside from combining a Marx Brothers quality with the anvil dropping freedom of animation,they would do some really cool stuff.
Such as... a parody of Apocalypse Now where they have to cross the studio lot to shut down production of an out of control Jerry Lewis movie.
If you get a chance you could do worse.
Doug K.
This is genius, Doug. Pure genius.
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