Monday, July 12, 2021

Masterfully, in the span of 10 minutes, the Yankees eradicate all hope for 2021

Why, why, WHY did I express optimism? What was I thinking? 

Sure, Gerrit Cole pitched an epic game. We'd beaten Houston twice. Still... WTF? I should have known better. This isn't my first clown rodeo. This is the 2021 Yankees, a collection of tweaked gonads, exaggerated swings and full scale disappointments who ensure that any baby step forward always results in two giant steps back. WTF. Was. I. Thinking?

Yesterday, heading to the 9th, John and Suzyn were practically singing  show tunes. The Miracle Yanks were headed to a delightful all-star break. Boston and Tampa had lost, and the DuckDuckGo Broadcast Booth -(which doesn't physically exist, by the way) - had become Branson's magical space ship. The Yankees had righted their course, swept their nemesis, sent a message to the world that they were ready for that long, Coney-prophesized 10-game winning streak, with Severino and Britton ready to -DEAR GOD, I'M TOO OLD FOR THIS! WTF WAS I THINKING?

Last night, after the Death Barge blew the five-run lead - humiliated by Jose Altuve, a known cheater, who has tortured and mocked us for four years - we got to watch Boston select the consensus No. 1 prospect in the MLB draft - a high school shortstop with "Jeter" written all over him. About 18 picks later, we drafted a small college SS who has yet to see fastballs over 93 mph. Can you say "Kyle Holder?"

Why, why, WHY did I succumb? Haven't I learned anything?

Okay. That's it. I'm done. Today, if you're a Yankee fan, there is hope for this team, no hope for this franchise, no hope for this decade. The Knicks, Rangers, Mets, Jets and Giants will win championships before this nepotism-cursed fiasco does, and unless you're under age 10, you probably won't live to see it. 

Yesterday, the Yankees' most heralded prospect in the Futures Game was a Latino 18-year-old who has done nothing to justify such a designation, aside from wowing the ladies of Baywatch Tampa in YouTube videos. I'm not saying Jasson Dominiquez has no talent, or doesn't look good coming off the bus. But his resume is a blank sheet of paper surrounding a $5 million check, which is what the Death Barge shelled out to sign him. That makes him the latest Jackson Melian, Ricardo Aramboles, Dermis Garcia, Jesus Montero, et al. To think that, barely two weeks into professional baseball, he's our Futures Game rep? Yeesh. Dear God. Beyond the psychological impact of giving a Third World 16-year-old that much money, what happens when they promote a kid so relentlessly? 

We have no closer. We have no left fielder. We have no lefty bat. We have no fourth or fifth starter. We have no bullpen depth. We have no .300 hitter. We have no one batter you want coming up with the game on the line.  And damn, I should have known this: We have no hope.  


ranger_lp said...

But Trey Sweeney will save us...right?

Ken of Brooklyn said...

This team is a pyschic kick in the nuts, and I'm still doubled over!

Anonymous said...

This may be the final nail.
PS. we play Boston like 8 times before the trade deadline. Lose 6 and we will deal.
PP. SS.; they are selling tickets on discount with a drink and a hot dog included . I got the email this morning.
Attendance will be inflated by these prices. Almost half price. Revenue down.
The Archangel

Anonymous said...

Just before that little cheating dwarf hit it out, I said to myself, if I had was a betting man, I'd bet the farm that he'd hit it out and walk it off ....

Like I'd said after the Cole 1-0 affair, this team's offense sucks. Yeah, they scored 7 runs yesterday, but that was with what, almost TWENTY walks included. Any decent offense would've scored 18 runs for sure.

Then once again, it's the vaunted Arson Squad with another masterpiece. And Aaron Boone with his stupidity. I would have stayed away from using Chad Green. He's pitched a lot lately, and as all of us know, he sucks when he's overworked. Anyway, so Domingo German starts the 9th, gives up an infield roller and a booming double, and is immediately lifted, despite a five run lead? WTF? So if Boone had that little confidence in him, why is he starting the 9th? We had a half dozen guys to choose from, why Chad Green? And after Green started sucking, why not bring in somebody else? It was like a replay of the first series we had with these cheaters earlier in the year.

This is what happens when you have idiots running the show, idiots in the front office, who hire idiots crunching numbers, which idiots then tell idiot coaches what to do, and who have idiot scouts sign idiot players.

When they blew that game, I wasn't even that angry. I was a bit pissed, of course, but I knew this team sucks and is capable of blowing any game. So I watched this shit show with a mixture of masochism, horror, amazement, and awe ... awe at the incredible stupidity of Boone and the astonishing lack of pitching, hitting, and competent coaching.

It was Exhibit A in why we're not winning anything for the next ten, maybe twenty years with these buffoons in charge. And it's Exhibit A as to why this team should be scrapped, the coaching staff should be canned, the entire front office fired, and the scouting staff re-built.

The Hammer of God

Celerino Sanchez said...

Why are you busting Dermis Garcia's balls? He's batting .172 with 15HR & 95ks. He's the perfect Yankee of 2020s. It's not easy finding guys that fit your system

HoraceClarke66 said...

He is an idiot. But Chad Green should still be ashamed of that outing.

Anonymous said...

duque--what makes you think you have a centerfielder? Gardner is one of the worst players in baseball.

Anonymous said...

Sunday's epic, historic, soul-crushing meltdown was just what the doctor ordered right before the All-Star break. No reliable closer, a lineup full of washouts, regular playing time for some of the worst players in the majors (some of which are named Gardner, Odor, and Locastro) no promotion of the team's hottest prospects, and a $324-million star pitcher likely headed for the same lame-arm purgatory as Severino because of Boone's job insecurity and overall ineptitude, just to snag a meaningless win in the middle of July at the expense of 129 pitches irreversible micro-wounds to a veteran, high-mileage arm--a record of pitcher abuse for this MLB season: in other words, no other MLB manager is measurably anywhere near that stupid. The apocalypse is coming, and not a moment too soon.

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