Friday, March 11, 2022

“I For One Welcome Our Insect Overlords”

That line from the Simpson’s feckless news anchor Kent Brockman sums up how I feel this AM.  Not because I am feckless, but because I now understand, once and for all,  that the owners are insects. Phyllophaga Moneta to be precise 

(I’ll save you having to look it up. It translates to white money grubs- BTW not trying to inject race it just turns out that Phyllophaga actually are white grubs. Sometimes the jokes write themselves.)

Phyllophaga are incapable of feeling, loyalty, history, and just feed off of whatever rotting carcass they are attached to. Sounds like MLB owners to me. 

Consequently, we have been given the greatest gift (almost typed grift) of all. Clarity. 

We have seen the truth and the truth shall set us free. Be prepared to have our cake and eat it too. (Although I continue to question what else we would be doing with the cake and why this is an aphorism.)

Here's the thing… I take back none of the things that I wrote in my MLB break up letter. The owners suck and the lockout was, and still is, the last straw. They are “insect overlords” 

I understand that we’ve all said this many times in many different ways but somehow it was a game.  Like complaining about a wife or girlfriend. Yeah, we bitch but we ain’t goin’ anywhere.

However, my feelings about MLB and the Yankees have been irrevocably changed.  

Here’s the upside. I really am through enriching these billionaires. No money for MLBTV. No game attendance. I will not wear their branded merch. 

Besides, seeing a 60 plus year old guy in a Yankee t-shirt at the supermarket always kind of looks sad anyway.

One Caveat:  I will continue to wear my Yogi Berra Museum T-shirt as a night shirt because:

1 - It’s so soft

2- It says “Yogi” on it which is subject to several interpretations.

Plus, it's actually Yogi Berra! 

Now to the real question… Will I continue to watch the Yankees? Of course. I love baseball and I love the Yankees. Only now instead of me paying them, they can pay me back by providing entertainment, such as it is, and I am under no obligation whatsoever.

They’ve become a booty call. “I’m in the mood so how about it?”

All the “fun” none of the caring.

So, let the season begin. I wonder who they’ll (Note: Used to be "we’ll") sign?

 

 

4 comments:

HoraceClarke66 said...

Beautiful, Doug. And I love that Simpsons episode.

JM said...

Hey, Doug, will you run for office so I can vote for you? Come on, it's easy. Look at the all the moronic douchebags who win. Anyone can do it.

Come on, what the heck....

HoraceClarke66 said...

Yeah, but why would he want to associate with those people?

Or as Billy Crystal, playing the Devil in Woody Allen's "Deconstructing Harry," says, "I used to work in Hollywood. But you can't trust those people."

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Just seeing this> EXCELLENT POST Doug, you have summed up my position soooOOOooooooo much better than I ever could> BRAVO! My boycott remains, no MLB TV, merch and no Yankee game attendances. From lockout to blockout,,, though I would cave for a meet up at a local bar to watch a game or two with all of you!