Friday, March 18, 2022

Yankee pitching staff, ranked, with suggested IT IS HIGH nicknames

It's time for IT IS HIGH posters and readers to consider the all-important nicknames that will define members of the New York Yankee Class of 2022. 

Each Nom de Guerre or cognomen should invoke a perfect melding of hope, respect and cynical mockery. Some dubbings have been in effect for a while. Others remain in the experimental phase. 

I invite each of you to improve upon these soubriquets, which will play a critical role in our appreciation of the 2022 season.  

 1. Gerrit Cole... "Cole Mine." 
 2. Jordan Montgomery... "The Full Monty."
 3. Jonathan Loaisiga... "Johnny Lasagna."
 4. Chad Green... "Mean Chad Green."
 5. Aroldis Chapman... "The Waterfall."
 6. Luis Severino... "Setback Sevy."
 7. Jameson Tailion... "Tailgunner James."
 8. Nestor Cortez... "Nasty Nestor Octavio-Cortez."
 8. Clay "Sherlock" Holmes. 
 9. Wandy Peralta... "Wandy Vision."
10. Michael King... "The King of the Yankees."
11. Lucas Luetge... "The Loo."
12. Luis Gil... "Gil-Gamesh."
13. Luis Medina. "Funky Cold Medina"
14. Albert Abreu... "A. A."
15. Deivi Garcia... "Wavy Gravey."
16. Clarke Schmidt... "Schmiddy."
17. Joely Rodriguez... "J-Rod." 
18. Manny Banuelos... "Man the Man."
20. Matt Bowman... "Matt Bowman."

Suggestions?


7 comments:

Carl J. Weitz said...

1..."Olde King"
2... "3-Card"
6..." Lucky Louie"
7..." Shrimp Tail On"
8..." Johnny Wadd Holmes"
14..." Double A"
16..." Kent"
18...Manny " Fold"
20..." Blown Hold" Bowman

13bit said...

LUKE, WE BARELY KNEW YE...WELL, WE DID, ACTUALLY...

HAL, YOU CAD...BRIAN, YOU SCOUNDREL...

YOU HAVE LOWERED THE ORGANIZATION TO A PLACE OF SHAME AND DISHONOR.

I WILL REFRAIN FROM USING OBSCENITIES DURING THIS POST.

THOSE BAD MEN. THOSE TERRIBLE MEN. THOSE NAUGHTY BOYS.

THOSE DUMB, MOTHERFUCKING SHITFACES WHO KNOW NOTHING ABOUT BASEBALL AND SUCK AT THE TEAT OF MAXIMUM PROFITS....

BTR999 said...

Voit to SD for Justin “Time” Lange

For me, Voit was a hard nosed tough power hitter brought down by injuries and a bad glove.
A born DH type who had the misfortune of playing for a team always loaded with that sort of player.

Lange is years away from the bigs, if indeed he ever gets there. We don’t appear to have gotten fair value,
But there didn’t seem to be that much interest in him.

Never forget, this is also a salary dump for the team.

I wish hin health and good luck in SD

Carl J. Weitz said...

So, Cashman, knowing that SD needed to replace Tatis's power bat in the lineup and who could now spot Voit at DH, only got a low level pitcher? Pure genius. I don't know anyone better at the deal than The Brain except maybe The Donald.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I still prefer "Cole Train" for Gerrit—though I'll settle for "Merry Olde Soul."

And Jameson Taillon has to be Bushmills Taliesen.

JM said...

I think Matt Bowman is perfect for Matt Bowman.

Retired Stratman said...

Luis Gil - Gila Monster
Aroldis Chapman - Vinny Barbarino