What's this? A setback for Setback Sevy? Impossible! (And other horrifying cries into the Yankee nebula)

Yesterday, the Yanks toppled Phily 14-2, scoring eight in the 8th against the comedy team of Duron & Marconi. Big shout to breakout stars Max Burt and Ben Cowles - (a Rochester boy! Yay, upstate!) - who blasted huge but meaningless HRs.

The real news from Camp Tamp is - well - a SHOCKER. Siddown for this. Maybe a shot of Jack? A warning: The following report includes words that some viewers will find disturbing. We strongly suggest young readers leave the computer room and go play hopscotch, or Parchisi, whatever... Are POGs still a thing?  THE BREAKING NEWS: 

Luis Severino - aka "Setback Sevy" - has apparently suffered a setback. 

Note: A MINOR setback. Nothing to worry about, nothing to see here. Move on. We have this on the highest authority: The YES Gold Star, Baghdad Bob, p.r. machinery: Sevy will miss tonight's start due to "body soreness." I mean, that's nothing, right? Ha ha. I mean, to sweat such a minor issue - soreness - that's laughable. Ha ha! Had you going, eh? You said, "O fuk-a-me, we're fukin fukked," only to find out - NO! the Yankee Roger Stone Truth Squad says it's no concern. Ha ha. O, that YES. They never fail to amuse. Ha. 

A "minor setback." Wait... is there a deja vu thing here?

Like... May 2016. Triceps inflammation. 'Twas nothing, just a scratch. They simply moved him to the bullpen.

Or March 2019. Rotator cuff inflammation. This came after he signed the big contract. No problem. He'd miss a few starts. Big deal.  

April 2019. A Grade 2 lat strain. Happened in rehab. He'd miss a month, maybe two. He returned in September.

February 2020. Partially torn UCL. Whoops. Tommy John surgery. He'd miss 18 months, back by mid-2021.

June 2021. Groin injury. He'd miss another month, back in August.

August 2021. "Didn't feel right." Back in September... or Opening Day 2022!

Yesterday... Soreness. Tonight's start will be bumped back to September - uh - excuse me, Saturday, I MET SATURDAY... surely, this is nothing. 

NOTE: I want to remind readers that we at IIH never condemn or mock Yankee players because they happen to get injured. (Actually, we do it all the time, but officially, it's not our policy.) Injuries are a part of baseball. Some players are simply snake-bitten by the fates, and Severino looks like one of them. (The greatest of all time - and perhaps, the saddest - was our own Mickey Mantle.) From Greg Bird to Carl Pavano, this brief and ugly millennium is already pocked with Yankee souls who suffered track records of pain that we wouldn't wish on anyone not named Chris Sale. 

But our concerns do point to a darker issue: Practically every upbeat projection for the 2022 Yankees required a comeback season from Setback Sevy. We foresaw him as a dominant No. 2 starter behind Gerrit Cole, a linchpin in the rotation. 

Today, as we bemoan Sevy's latest setback, we must also consider a huge hole in our pitching staff. 

Fortunately, though, we do have someone who could step up and replace Sevy. How about that Clarke Schmidt! He's healthy and ready to go... though, well, there have been a few, um, setbacks...