Monday, October 31, 2022

J'ACCUSE CASHMAN!


Bien sûr, in proportion to team income and valuation, Hal is a bâtard pas cher.

Et oui, Boone is not a very good manager.

But it's Cashman...Cashman who is the root of all evil.

Pourquoi? Because I cannot believe Hal is even interested in baseball beyond the financial statements. King George I famously wanted his son-in-law to take over, until he became his ex-son-in-law. His own kids? They weren't really interested. (Maybe his daughter was, but she was a GIRL! Mon Dieu!)

Hal's only real job is setting the salary cap. After that, he's off to watch AC Milan. How Cashman spends the money, who cares. As long as the team is in "contention" every year and nothing bad shows up in the spreadsheets.

Boone? He should be gone. But...if he could fill out a starting lineup like le Stengel did, with 1-9 populated by good, consistent, and durable players (and a little platooning here and there), he'd make fewer mistakes, at least.

But he can't. Because...Cashman!

Cashman is the one who gets the budget and has to assemble a team with it. And he's allowed to fuck up once in a while, just like anyone. But as many have noted here (and in far greater detail than my memory and laziness allow), he fucks up BEAUCOUP!

Cashman signs the merde contracts. Cashman makes the lousy trades. Cashman saddles us with guys who can't help us win. Cashman parades one over-the-hill waste of space after another. Cashman keeps younger talent down at Scranton until they lose heart, lose their skills, and lose faith in themselves and the organization. Cashman decides that 
they're "not ready" until they're 26 or 28 and injuries force his hand. Cashman is in charge of the talent scouts, the coaches, and the trainers who have trouble finding, developing, or keeping talent on the field. 

Tout est Cashman ! Cashman le terrible ! Cashman l'idiot ! Cashman l'incompétent !

Cashman spends the money he's given on mistake after mistake, especially when it comes to pitching, so there's usually less or no money to spend on really good free agents when they're available--even if they dearly want to be Yankees, like 
Bryce Harper. We didn't need Harper because we were overstocked with outfielders. Quell l'absurdité! And now, the Phillies have the inside track on the latest young Japanese phenom coming across the ocean, because he's a big Harper fan.

Maybe Cashman has never got over the fact that the only successful team under his watch was the product of Watson, Buck, and the Stick. Once the members of that team started aging out, or were traded in dubious deals, it was all over. Cashman couldn't do what they did. Maybe George stopped him. Maybe he just doesn't know how.

"BUT MOSTLY FOR"!! Embrasseur de cul!!!


As all you gray hairs know, after you're in a job for a long time, there's a tendency to slack off, to say "whatever." You lose a little focus, you lose a little or a lot of interest. You work hard sometimes and less hard other times. You've had so many chances, you just figure you'll hit one out often enough to be respected. Besides, your boss likes you and you get approval from outside sycophants. It's a nice gig.

But not for us fans. One ring in 22 years now. That's never happened. In 119 years, that had never happened! But now, it has. And why?

J'ACCUSE CASHMAN! 

Avec sa tête, dans le Queens! Ou n'importe où sauf ici !



6 comments:

HoraceClarke66 said...

Au guillotine!

All right, au whatever other sinecure HAL or MLB can offer him (revolutions are a lot nice these days). But still. "au" somewhere!

Mildred Lopez said...


Au revoir. Wishfully

HoraceClarke66 said...

Aww.

13bit said...

We don't have to chop his whole head off, maybe just the top third. Then, he can sit on a stool in the trainer's room while Derek makes the deals.

The Hammer of God said...

Cashman has been charged, tried, and found guilty. Guilty as hell.

After every year HAL gives him a reprieve, however, so as much as we'd like to guillotine the guy, it goes on and on and on. Like the Rime of the Ancient Mariner.

edb said...

JM, why do you think I call him "The Genius." He is blame free in this no responsibility Sport's World. Poor player development, many bad trades, has not developed everyday players with the exception of Judge and few starting pitchers. The game system is a mess. But he can dress as an elf, slep on the street and climb tall buildings.