Friday, December 30, 2011

Send canned food to Hal and Hank Steinbrenner

It's that time of year when good Americans do what they can to help the less fortunate among us. And judging by their recent pockets-pulled appearance, the social welfare of Hal and Hank Steinbrenner should be center stage in the prayers of Yankee fans everywhere in 2012.

They had no money for Yu , the IRS, or any big name free agents (beyond the Gus Molina threshold)this winter. Supposedly, they're not even going to bid on the Cuban superstar, Human Centepedes, or the Japanese sensation, Hiroki Kuroda. Do they have money to eat? Are they selling their vinyl album collections ("Smoke on the Water," "We Built This City on Rock n' Roll") for sticks of wood that will heat their cookfires? Are the Yankee owners living hand to mouth in dirty hobo jungles, eating their former race horses and running from the billy clubs of marading cops like lice fleeing a flame?

Friends, this holiday season, when Yankee fans in North Korea are mourning the loss of Fearless Leader, let's try to keep Hank, Hal, Lonn and Levine in our hearts. Canned food might not seem like much, but when you consider the plate of beans that the Redsocks just traded to Oakland for Andrew Bailey, it can make a difference!

Friends, there is a time when basic concern over the human condition must trump all our hopes and dreams for the coming baseball season. And that time is now. The Yankee owners need your help.

Check the expiration dates and send canned food to:

Yankee Owners Relief Fund
Yankee Stadium
East 161st Street
The Bronx, NYC 10451-2100

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