Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Yankeetorial: Yankees bid for Darvish was like their effort in the post-season: "Modest"

Yesterday, Texas snagged Yu Darvish without even surrendering a Colter Bean. They bought him. They spent some of the avalanche of free money that will fall upon them next year from Fox News Corp. -- the Murdoch phone hacking and pure evil cartel, which hopes to not only win the 2012 Presidential election but the World Series (the way it did in 2004, when we doubled-down with both feet into the Iraq War bear trap.) The Rangers have signed a huge broadcast contract with Fox Sports. From now on, money means nothing. They intend to become the new New York Yankees.

They might as well. The old New York Yankees seem happy to abdicate their responsibilities. After all, we satisfied our goals last year, right? We made the playoffs.

The Steinbrothers - lions of victory in 2008-09, when they signed CC, Tex and AJ - are doing their best imitation of Barack Obama. They stand back, avoid fights and seek to appease those owners that hate us. Of course, they hate us anyway. Whenever a free agent hits the market, they rant about the Yankees buying him. We hang back. They still point to us.

OK, Darvish is off the board. There remains the two Cuban outfielders - the 26-year-old human video, Human Centipedis, and the 19-year-old Jorge Somethingorother - who hit the market next month. After that, every decent pitcher will bring a huge price tag of human flesh.

When the A's decide to peddle Gio Gonzalez, they'll demand twice as much from us as everybody else. If we balk, they'll trade him to Boston for a burger and fries. That's how it's worked for 10 years: Offer him to the Yankees, and if they don't pay up, trade them to their opposition.

We had nothing to lose but money. We refused to spend it.

Final note, regarding Presidential analogy: Newt Gingrich could be the 2011 Redsocks of the GOP. Two weeks ago, he held a 10-game lead in the NL Central. Michele Bachmann had no hitting, Herman Cain pulled his groin, Rick Perry couldn't throw strikes, and Ron Paul only plays in Japan. Now Newt is sinking, and I'm not sure whether Mitt Romney has the pitching to win it all.


Joe De Pastry said...

The Steinbrothers have become McCourts. They keep all the money for themselves.
Why not sign Fielder and trade Tex, Gardner, and Nunez for Lincecum?
Do SOMETHING! I'm so bored I almost started to watch a soccer game.

bennyboy said...

Chapter 1
Dear Friend Duque,

Why pay $100 million dollars for a pitcher who has never played in your league? If a pitcher had Yu's numbers in triple A and the Yankees traded Jesus, Betances, and Banuelos for him, you'd be going insane. It's the same in this situation because $100 million dollars can be used to expand the scouting program or buy other, major league proven free-agents. That's the opportunity cost of signing Yu Darvish.

You would retort: "but they didn't sign anyone else, lol!" To which I respond, pipe in mouth, "true, but they didn't like the free-agents this year. Wait, friend Duque, till next year. When the free-agent pitchers are younger, faster, stronger and better looking; i.e., wait for Matt Cain and John Danks."

Chapter 2
I think it's also important to keep in mind that the myth of Yankee financial invincibility was exposed in 2006-2008. We got old and crappy and little could be done about it. Moreover, the reason for those dark years wasn't solely that the organization reached its fiscal limit. The team had too many guys who were unmovable signed to long-term deals. Even if we could afford to raise payroll to fix the team, there were no open spots to insert new players.

bennyboy said...

P.S. Chapter 3

I really think the Yankees would've made a run at C.J. Wilson had they not believed he was going to the west coast all along. I think they assumed his desire to speak with Cash-man was based on a strategy to get Moreno to raise his offer. The Yankees only like raising the price of free-agents when the Red Sox are trying to sign someone. That, or they are sick of signing pitchers who are over 30 years old and end up sucking.

bennyboy said...

P.P.S. Pee pee, lol.