Yankeetorial: Under MLB's playoffs formula tying Baltimore is not an option

This is a Yankee bath salts-level passion blog. Sometimes, well, we get carried away. Our motto - passed at the recent convention - is, "Anything said about the Yankees is fightin' words, and never apologize for comparing the Redsocks to rape or Hitler." (In the last draft, we deleted the section on Islam and Ed Whitson.) (Also, we removed the "dammit!" a decision I still believe makes us look like a bunch of squat-to-pees.) As far as I'm concerned, a Yankee loss is like being raped by Hitler.

Nevertheless, like the Bush administration - which only existed in legend and mythology - we prefer faith-based conclusions over anything tied to - yuecch - numbers. Dammit, the Yankees don't need policy wonks! They need a good, solid steel-toed kaboom in the caboose! Dammit!

But this is fact. I looked it up on Wikipedia. Get it? Fact.

If we end up tied with Baltimore for the AL East division, we must play them in a one-game series. Under the new, lawyer-written MLB post-season by-laws, there is no tie-breaker formula for first place in divisions. If two teams are tied, they play a one-season game. (By the way, we went 9-9 against the Showalter Shoes in the reg season, so that wouldn't kick in anyway.) Right now, Baltimore would have home field advantage in this winner-take-all monstrocity, by virture of its better record against AL teams. (We went 13-5 in interleague; they were 11-7. Of course, that was June-July, a different world. Dammit.)

So if we tie Baltimore - a very possible outcome - we must go there and beat them. If we lost that game - a very possible outcome - we then board a plane and fly to Oakland (currently the Wild Card leader) for a second one-game season.

Two win-or-die games. CC pitches one - regardless of shakiness - and Andy or Kuroda pitch the second. Girardi would mix and match, and if we are still standing, it's Phil Hughes and the unused Andy-Kuroda - who would start against the Texas Rangers.

Yeah, the Texas Rangers. Best lineup in the AL, and twice denied the championship. Yeesh. What an outlook. Face two young, rising teams, both with hatred for the Yankees, then go into Texas for a best-of-five.

About 20 years ago, American sports abandoned the "May the best team win." It is now, "May the hottest team at the end win." (See: NY Giants, 2011) But if this old and tired team has proven anything this season, it is that it is prone to run out gas, again and again. We really need to win this division.

Right now, being tied for first means we are - in fact - behind.