Wednesday, December 27, 2017

If this is our 2018 team - no more invasive surgery - I believe we win the AL East

Seriously. If between now and St. Patty's Day, Brian Cashman does nothing but rappel down Trumpian skyscrapers and model racy sunglasses for GQ, then - as the philosopher Ben Grimm would say - brush my teeth and call me Smiley. Because we have Giancarlo, the Judge, the Birdman, the Kraken, Sir Didi and... yes... Red Thundah! Just don't screw it up, and we will win the AL East.   

Whaddabout second base, you ask?

Shit. That's easy. Glyber Torres! If he's not ready April 1, there's Tyler Wade or Ronald Torreyes or one of the countless Pete Kozmas/Brian Roberts clones roaming Florida and Arizona. Let the rookies compete in Tampa, as Aaron Hicks and Aaron Judge did last spring in RF. But who are kidding? Unless he gets hurts, Glyber will become our 2B this year. Better sooner than later. And the worst thing would be to block him because some beloved veteran is hitting .277.

Third base, you're wondering?

Hmmm, that's tough. How about... Miguel Fucking Andujar. He hit over .300 at Scranton last year. He's our best 3B prospect since Mike Lowell (whom we converted into Ed Yarnell.) Let's not trade this one and recreate the Lowell deal. If his glove isn't ready, let Wade, Torreyes and Thairo Estrada compete. Wouldn't it be cool - from a dynastic standpoint - to field a Yankee lineup with two ascending rookies? And if everything flops, hell, we'll sign somebody on March 30th. The Toms River Miracle might still be available.  

Starting rotation?

Wait a minute. Am I getting this right? According to the Internet, we're currently stressing over who will be... the sixth man. Six. As in "six-man rotation." Well, there's Chad Green, Adam Warren, Chance Adams and the cast of Glee - all competing for - gulp - sixth man, in a plan that could get scrapped anyway. Also, with rain-outs, the Yankees often use a four-man rotation through April. We wouldn't need six starting pitchers until May... if we ever go there. We needed a six-man rotation back in the days when we were going to add the Japanese Babe Ruth. Now, it's the Angels who need six starters. Why are we have all this debate over trading for a sixth man? 

What if Boston loads up?

Of course, they will! That's what they do. But having re-signed Mitch Moreland to play 1B, they're sort of stuck with the evil Hanley Ramirez as DH. They're desperately shopping Jackie Yastremski Jr., and they're assuring their psychiatrists that Babe Benintendi and Mookie Betts are the second coming of Lynn-Rice. But their farm system is sputtering. They don't have a supplemental wave of rookies coming. We do... if we don't trade them for a sixth starter.

Aren't there tweaks to be made?

Yeah, of course. Tweak away, Cash! And if Cooperstown can acquire somebody on our terms - that is, a veteran infielder or innings-eating pitcher - I'm fine with that. But if other GMs want to play hardball - (which seems the case over Cole) - fukkim. Cash should put on his elf costume and find a five-story K-Mart to dangle from. Let's not talk ourselves into a rotten deal. This team, left untouched, wins the AL East.

What about Red Thunder? Where does he fit in?

Fifth outfielder and DH. And he fits in next year, when he hits 40 homers. He fits in with a larger-than-life persona, who'll strike out a lot but bring excitement to every at bat. I want Red Thunder. You want Red Thunder. Everybody wants Red Thunder. GIVE US OUR RED THUNDER.

16 comments:

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Off topic sorry, THE MASTER is taking calls NOW on WFAN, Wed 10:50

Ken of Brooklyn said...

And yes, The Master agrees with playing the kids @ 2nd and 3rd, and Goooooooo Red Thunder!
He's on today until 1pm,,,,,

Anonymous said...

LOVE LIVE THE MASTER.

HoraceClarke66 said...

PERFECT summation, Counselor Duque!

Cashmere's motto from now through most of spring training should be, "Don't just do something, stand there!"

You make a brilliant point about the "second wave" of rookies. This is indeed what is hurting Boston, and it's what will propel us to another dynasty, if navigated correctly.

It amazes me that professional fools, sorry, COMMENTATORS, and fans alike keep saying that "the Yanks can't go into a contending year with two rookies in the infield."

Of COURSE they can. Where do these people think great players come from? They move steadily up the minors, hit well in Triple-A, and...voila!

Back in 1936, no doubt they would have been telling us, "Yeah, but can you really count on this DiMaggio kid's knees holding up? And don't we need a starter who will eat innings more? Hey, let's see if Earle Combs can come back, and give Myril Hoag a real chance, and maybe deal this newbie from the PCL for Bobo Newsom..."

Alphonso said...

These are dangerous times.

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


How would you not like "Gimme Red Thunder."

Maybe they'll come out with a candy bar -- or an energy drink -- under that label.


Anonymous said...

Joe -- Hair Tonic.

Doug K.

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


Relatively bad (or good?) news I just stumbled across, from a Tigers' website:

- - -

New details about a trade package the Yankees made to the Tigers for former Rookie of the Year Michael Fulmer have been leaked

According to Bill Brink of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, the Yankees made an offer to the Tigers that included outfielder Clint Frazier, infielders Tyler Wade and Thairo Estrada, and some pitchers that have yet to reach the majors . . .

- - -

AND get this: The site's URL is www.blessyouboys.com. (!)

Bad news: We offered up Frazier PLUS PLUS PLUS to get a 24-year-old pitcher who has thrown 320 innings in the past 2 years. Maybe the guy is great; maybe he's going to throw more innings and need surgery.

Good news: The Tigers didn't bite.

Honey Barnes said...

See Randy Levine's comments.

Leinstery said...

https://nypost.com/2017/12/27/have-these-megadeals-scared-mlb-into-hot-stove-freeze/

The Dark Lord Randy Levine delivers an ominous warning to the league and us here at IIHIIFIIC

13bit said...

Yes on all counts. All we have to do is turn the key and we should be firing on 8 cylinders. First time in a few years that I'm really looking forward to the coming season. I'm not going to pick up cable again, so I have to figure something out. I wish I could just pay YES and stream them somehow.

HoraceClarke66 said...

The Fulmer offer is truly scary—for us. That would have been a terrible trade.

See, by their general managers' actions you shall know these guys. Pitchers such as Cole and Fulmer, with their relatively low salaries and years of "team control" are exactly what these so-called small-market teams want.

Sure, it's a stupid calculation. Fulmer is unlikely to ever be anything more than a decent No. 2-3 starter, and the Tigers could rebuild much quicker with that package the Yanks were offering.

But that would mean taking a risk. And these GMs aren't about taking risks, just slowly building up over their prescribed, five-year period of high draft picks.

Fulmer is perfect for that.

But if one of these teams WANT to get rid of such a pitcher—as the Bucs do with Cole—you can bet your bottom dollar that they've got nothing. Just the fact that Pittsburgh is peddling Cole should make the Yankees run in the other direction.

Anonymous said...

'OL HOSS IS ON THE BUTTON AGAIN.

THAT FULMER DEAL SUCKED FOR US, (AND I LIKE FULMER).

.....AND WE SHOULD BE RUNNING AWAY FROM COLE.

WHY CAN'T WE JUST HAVE AN OPEN COMPETITION IN SPRING TRAINING FOR THE 6TH STARTING SLOT BETWEEN CHANCE ADAMS, JUSTUS SHEFFIELD, ALBERT ABREU, DOMINGO ACEVEDO, AND ADAM WARREN?

THE WINNER GETS THE SLOT, AND IT WON'T COST US ANY BIG MONEY, PLUS WE GET TO KEEP ALL OUR PROSPECTS.

GOD FORBID WE DO THAT AND GO WITH 2 ROOKIES IN OUR INFIELD.

WHY DOES CASHMAN MAKE EVERYTHING SO HARD?

THE SONOFABITCH.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

I agree 100000% with ALLCAPS, the perfect, simple and most logical plan!
WTF is so hard about this,,,,,,

Anonymous said...

IT'S AMAZING KEN....

CASHMAN SHOWS NO CONFIDENCE WHATSOEVER IN OUR OUR FARM SYSTEM...

THE SAME FARM SYSTEM THAT JUST PRODUCED GARY SANCHEZ, GREG BIRD, AND AARON JUDGE!

NONE!

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