Saturday, July 27, 2019

Life Behind Enemy LInes

As many of you know, I live in New England.  I am watching Game Three of this incredibly frustrating Yankees/Red Sox series on NESN, the official voice of the Boston Red Sox.  The announcers are:

  • Jerry Remy, former Red Sox infielder, father of a murderer, and a really annoying Red Sox homer.

  • Dennis Eckersley, Hall of Fame pitcher and not a bad color commentator.

  • Some other guy.

I'm sitting in my wing chair, watching and listening as CC serves up one hanging slider after another.  The Red Sox hitters are licking their chops and lacing one liner after another down the left field line.

Xander Bogaerts (no relation to Humphrey) is at the plate.  The onscreen commentary (audible and otherwise) is as follows:
Jerry Remy: Xander Bogaerts comes to bat.  I've got a feeling.  A feeling deep inside. <pause>  I mean about Bogaerts.
Local Bargain Jerk at Home: <Remy, you're a dick, but that wasn't a bad Beatles reference.>
Dennis Eckersley: The Yankees biggest problem is that they're not going to get CC out of this game as soon as they should.

Local Bargain Jerk at Home: <Dear God, even the opposing team's announcers can see it!> 
Aaron Boone: <in his mind; Oh crap.  Some of this gum is stuck between my incisor and whatever the tooth next to it is called.>

Larry Rothschild: <in his mind; Oh crap.  My truss slipped and now it's digging into my leg.> 

Bogaerts: <hits a double, a near home run.>

Dennis Eckersley: Well, Jerry, there's your feeling.
Jerry Remy: Yep.  Didn't miss by much.
Dennis Eckersley: I NEVER would have let Sabathia face that man, the way CC's been throwing and the way Bogaerts has been hitting.
Jerry Remy: Chad Green is coming into the game but the damage is done.
Local Bargain Jerk at Home: <Maybe it's time to start cooking dinner.  Nahhh, I'm not hungry.  Maybe it's time for more Sangria.>
I mean, seriously: Boone is being second guessed by the opposing team's announcers?  What is happening here? 


Rufus T. Firefly said...


I feel your pain. I mean I have the NESN feed too here in NH.

Tried to turn to FS1. Asshole exBrave Schmuck (or something like that), is opining just as annoyingly.

Is beyond aggravating asshole anti Yankee announcers have more of a clue than Yankee management.

Leinstery said...

Only took him 6 years too late to admit it.

ranger_lp said...

@Leinstery...If George was here, Larry would have been fired by now. Larry has to have pictures of Hal, or pictures of Brian, or pictures of Hal with Brian, for him to keep his job.

KD said...

Hi Yankees fans! I hope you’ve enjoyed this preview of the Yankees 2019 post season. At least baseball won’t impact your traditional autumnal activities.

JM said...

5 runs each of the last two games. In Fenway, not so great, but serviceable if we had decent pitching.

We picked a bad time to slump. Our starters weren't good against Minnesota, but we hit their pitchers. I don't think the Socks' pitchers are better, really.

It's Fenway. Built on an ancient site of human sacrifice, satanic rituals, and racist Yawkeys. The bizarre design of the playing field is actually a 3D representation of The Sign Of Chthulu.

We gotta get out of here.

JM said...

My favorite paragraph in the Rothschild article:

"The Yankees also have spent time reviewing their pitchers to see if any are tipping pitches, Boone said earlier this weekend"

ranger_lp said...

Kind of makes you wonder if the Red Sox are stealing signs still. The YES announcers pointed out that Higgy was using the runner on second base signs with a runner on first. I wouldn't put it pass them...

KD said...

If the redsock players on the field can steal Yankees signs by only using their eyes and brains, then more power to them. Would serve the Yankees right for being so damn stupid. I suspect this talk of sign stealing is only a diversion to shift blame to the nefarious “other”.

Carl J. Weitz said...

I live in enemy territory as well, LBJ,just not on the front lines like you do. I' m more in the DMZ as I live about as far south as you can be while still living in New England. At least I can go down to the beach in my town and see Long Island.

I feel for you.

Isiyku Abdulahi said...

I really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.