Sunday, July 28, 2019

Break up the Yankees

Defeat is one thing; disaster another.
—Winston Churchill

But really, the main reason I hastened back from Connecticut is to warn you:  Do not.  Seek.  The treasure.

No, wait—that was from "O, Brother Where Art Thou?"

Do not.  Waste.  The karma.


Look, I would say these last three days were like men vs. boys, but boys usually look at least slightly animated when playing a game.  This was more like men. vs. zombies, or men vs. three-toed tree sloths.

I have seen a lot of sporting mismatches in my time.  The Original, 1978 Boston Massacre; the 49ers in the Super Bowl vs. Denver and then San Diego; U.S. women's soccer vs. Thailand, etc.

NONE of them have anything on this one.  I have never seen such a one-side set of games in any sport, involving any teams, as these last three games at Fenway Park.

Let me say, to be fair, that the Red Sox are a much, much better team than your 2019 New York Yankees in absolutely every aspect of the game, hitting, fielding, pitching, and especially managing.

Somebody said the Sox had 33 extra-base-hits in the first 3 games.  Hell, in the infamous, three-game, June, 1977 wipeout at Fenway, when the Sox belted 16 homers against us, they only had a total of 18 extra-base-hits.

33 extra-base hits.  11 a game.

If these Red Sox do not win the World Series again, I will be surprised.

If these Red Sox do not end up 10 games ahead of the Yankees in the standings, I will be astonished.

But all that said, this was not a professional effort by our boys.

The final totals and the box scores really did not do justice to just how one-sided and terrible this was.

Seeing it up close on the BIG screen was terrifying.  Every single Red Sox batter seemed capable of hitting the ball out.  Even the foul balls and outs were usually screaming line drives.

At the plate, our batters constantly swung at pitches out of the strike zone, and took big, fat, juicy strike-threes down the plate—all the very worst of the perverted, Chthuluan method of hitting that Coops had imposed on this team.

In the outfield, in particular, most of our players looked as if they had just been introduced to the game.

A few days after making like Willie Mays in centerfield, Aaron Hicks looked like Willie Mays Aikens.  Aaron Judge looked like a man on his first day of juggling class.  Tauchman looked like Joe Hardy after the devil has taken the spell off, and he has instantly reverted to a very feeble individual.

The Sox fans weren't booing or taunting our guys.  They were laughing at them.

The pitching was, of course, beneath contempt.  So we lost the James "Pettitte Times Five" Paxton start by 10-5?  Well, then thanks goodness Pettitte wasn't out there.  I guess it would've been 50-5.

The pitching was one thing, though.  The general malaise and inattention of the team was another—and it is on the manager.

I never thought I would see a Yankees team this uninvolved in a big series.  Of course, I also never thought I would see a Yankees pitching coach who could not be bothered to take off a sweatshirt and put on his cap when he went out to the mound.

Old George would've fired Rothschild for general schlubiness alone.  Which would've been fine.

But the big problem here is the manager.  Even crazy old Billy Martin found SOMETHING to do to fire up his team back in the 1977 debacle, if only try to start a fight with Billy Martin.  The next weekend we swept 'em right back at the Stadium.

That won't be happening with this Yankees team, or this manager.

Time to bag and junk this failed attempt at a dynasty.  Best to get rid of it all, beginning with the leeching ownership heirs who have attached themselves to the greatest franchise like an over-gorged tick.

Move on to the office lickspittle of a GM, the vacuous manager, and the single worst coaching and training staff ever assembled, and finish with most of a roster so obviously devoid of any semblance of pride or heart.

And begin again.

That's the intervention we need.  


JM said...

My brother's theory is that the Minnesota series took a lot out of them. They're tired, unfocused, and just want a day in bed. I don't know. But Sanchez was sucking, and he was injured. CC was sucking and he was injured. Tanaka probably injured. Paxton NYC head case, "adjusting."

Now Gardner is on the IL. DJ is hurt, hopefully nothing lasting.

Tomorrow and Thursday are days off before these killer socks come to the Bronx. Any place other than Fenway and all the offensive stats drop. Will we have a new pitcher or two to throw at them? That would help.

JM said...

John says this series was a speed bump. And notes the Minny series.

JM said...

Urshela's boot scores on that HR. Great.

JM said...

I just hope the Yanks score more so we don't have to see Chapman. That could well lose the game.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Asshole redsux. HR then pitch at head. Assholes.

JM said...

They always manage to live down to expectations, Rufus.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Judge struck out on 2 balls and a strike.

JM said...

Bradley was deked by his own teammate. He fucked up. He believed him. All those bodies around first were wearing Yankees uniforms.

JM said...

Too many infield fuckups by the Yanks.

JM said...

Wonder if Judge is still hurt? Would explain a lot.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

He's imitating Stanton.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Thank god the 'A' bullpen is rested. Tough week ahead.

Retired Stratman said...

Wow, Hoss. Tell us what you really think :)

JM - when was the last time Judge pulled a ball? I can’t remember. I think you’re right.

Retired Stratman said...

And what the hell is wrong with Didi?

JM said...

Britton should be gone, but at least he struck out Bradley.

JM said...

Britton wiggled out of it...and Chapman walks the leadoff hitter.

Fucking fuck fucker fuck head.

JM said...

Chapman topping out at 96. Not 100. Is he hurt, too?

JM said...

And they play the Ramones, a quintessential New York band.

JM said...

And Chapman sucks again.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I sure hope flop-sweat opts out.

JM said...

Pssst. We don't have a closer. We don't.

Unknown said...

Goddam he sucks. I pray he leaves as well

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Bullpen just needs some rest.

JM, at least you didn't have to hear James Taylor.

JM said...

I count myself lucky.

Mike Fan Cessa said...

That win was a fucking gift, if I heard The Master and His Companera (please forgive the spelling whether it's right or wrong) correctly. The Yankees did nothing particularly badly but rather just kind of sucked while B..... (I am in no mood to even TYPE that fucking word) sucked a little worse. I'm happy they sucked enough.

I'm also happy Austin Romine is on this team; I say, hand him the reins and let him manage this mess, while retaining his backup-catcher status. I bet he'd wear the fucking uni top (assuming Boone didn't tonight, which you must admit is a safe assumption). I also KNOW he didn't take shit from that Fucking Cabby Cabrera and put him on his ass in about half a second a couple years ago, and THEN looked like he was gonna beat the shit out of his own brother until someone got between them. Austin Romine is the man.

I thank Mr. Firefly's baby boy Rufus for giving us an accurate reading of the Judge strikeout's strikes. I didn't see them but I've seen enough bullshit calls on the guy that I'm wondering if it's a conspiracy; someday soon they may end up having to pay him about a hundredth of what he's made them and if there's one thing I'm sure of it's that THEY DO NOT WANT TO PAY ANYBODY ANYTHING...unless it's some half-ass (or full-ass; they are flexible) non-homegrown starting pitcher. THAT they will do.

This whole thing sounds mean and I'm going to shut up after this, except to ask for forgiveness because I listened to some of this series on a porch in Lewis County and some of it on a porch in Ontario County (neither of which,...well...nothing) and tonight's seemed the worse not because of anything logical (I, like any living being with a working heart, love a Chris Sale defeat) but because from the seventh until the end I was trapped on AM and hearing whatever they call overlap of stations, which wouldn't be so bad except it was Bill Cunningham, whom, whatever politics he holds dear to his heart (and I think his are along the self-enrichment line, which is, uh, not unusual), calls himself "the great American". Like most of this game, like that fucking Heath Hembree who always makes me think of that fucking Alan Embree, he can go fuck himself.

Other than that, a fine night. Hey Daddy-O, I DO wanna go down to the basement!

Oasisdave said...

Strohman to the Muts, at least we won't be giving away anything for him. Worries me what will be left for Cooperstown to peddle our farm system away for

Mike Fan Cessa said...

PS anyone who uses "lickspittle" makes my inner Mencken head for "poltroon" and "mountebank" in respect. I'll use them in sentences tomorrow in your honor, Hoss. It shouldn't be hard to find appropriate occasions. :)

HoraceClarke66 said...

Thanks, Mike! And Stratman: you are correct, sir!

Judge has not pulled a ball for a home run ALL YEAR. Back to the "EL" for him in a day or two? We'll see. I guess that might—MIGHT—force them to bring The Red Menace back up at least.

ranger_lp said...

@HC66...Seems obvious to me that the oblique injury is limiting Judge's ability to hit HRs. And the only way for Judge to stay in the lineup is to adjust his swing so he doesn't re-injure himself. And a 50% Aaron Judge is better than a 100% most everyone else.

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