Thursday, July 11, 2019

Brace yourself. The worst part of the season is here: It's Cashman Time

First-off, in this midsummer ether of angst, I don't want to always be savaging Brian Cashman. He's not the worst Yankee GM, not by a long shot. He's built a first-place team, arguably the best in baseball. I deride him as "Cooperstown" mostly because I don't believe gerbils in suits belong there. Cash deserves more credit than we often give. He's a slow, easy target, and someday, when he's gone, we might look back with starkly different opinions. We could do much worse. Can you say, GM Lonn Trost?

So, today... okay, today!... let's show Cashman some love. No raging. No screams. The guy works hard. He's trying. Love...

That said, here comes the most wretched stretch of the season: The pre-trade deadline. The first three months were baseball's equivalent of the recent Democratic Presidential Debates: they eliminated the Eric Stalwells and Marianne Williamsons (Miami and Baltimore - though, technically, like the Blue Jays, Marianne is still a contender.) Now, we toss every roster into a blender and press MUSH. The trade winds loom, and yeah, they really blow.

For the next three weeks, the Gammonite sewers will back-up with crapola about trades that will never happen. It's the season of the rumor, and most of them - like small town gossip - is designed to make us wretch. But the worst part is that some of the rumors will come true. 

The Yankees - aka Cashman - are about to make fever trades for pitchers on the other side of their career arcs. They will do this at the expense of the future. They will forego the quest for multiple championships, which is what the old-time Yankees chased. It's all about now. They're like thirsty burglars who enter your house, find the diamonds, and then ditch them for a bottle of Jack Daniels. 

You know what's going to happen? The Redsocks will trade for somebody, probably a relief pitcher. And that will send the Yankees into a tizzy. They will blow up the farm system to keep pace with a team 10 games behind in the loss column. Clint Frazier will fly out the door, and a week later, we'll have Ryan McBroom starting in RF. Just watch...

Ahh, why bother? July is the month for occasional fans, once a week fans, who know there was a Yankee named Yogi. They don't give a shit about farm systems. They are the uncaring, disinterested undecideds, the folks who occupy the political and cultural center of America. They're good people, and - truth be told - we'd be better off to emulate them. Who the hell are we to be sitting here, debating the fate of Rob Refsnyder? They never lost sleep over the trade of Mark Melancon for Lance Berkman. They remain happy in their dull summer slumbers. July is for beach novels.

Not us. The Yankees gave us a spectacular first half, a wonderful story of no-name players who rallied to save an injury-depleted team. It ended with us trouncing Boston in London, and we savored every moment. (At least I hope you did.) Now, it's over. "Cooperstown" is about to press MUSH, and unless we win a ring, 2019 will go down as a painful memory.

The sad truth is this: When you're already at the top, there is only one way to go. Brace yourselves, folks. As they used to say on Batman: The worst is yet to come.

(Remember: Love for Cash today. The anger can come later.)

15 comments:

TheWinWarblist said...

Who are you and what have you done with el duque?


FYH.

Anonymous said...

Hey, no problem. We love Cashman. Here is how it breaks down…

W is for Winning Pct. As in we haven’t had a losing season under his guidance. It used to be for World Series and/or Winning the Division, but it is still impressive.

E is for Encarnacion. As an old guy it’s nice that Brian isn’t an ageist.


L is for Larry Rothchild and loyalty. Without Cashman, Larry would have nothing to do as opposed to doing nothing.

O is for Owner. It can’t be easy dealing with an owner who secretly wants the team to fail.

V is for Voit!!!! Give the man his due on this one.

E is for Endurance. It’s impressive how long he has lasted without delivering a title. (Or a division champion)

C is for CC Sabathia. Back when the Yankees signed the top free agents.

A is for Single A. Supposedly there's a lot of talent down there.

S is for Sabermetrics. Shifts. Strikeouts. Sure, it’s killed a lot of the enjoyment of the game but over time the results will be for the most part worth it.

H is for Hideki Matsui (See CC)

M is for Marketing Milestones. Jeter’s Retirement Tour. CC’s 3000th strike out. That’s the real bottom line.

A is for hiring Aaron Boone. Cyber Manager.

N is for Ninja. Whether his trades are good or not a lot of them appear out of nowhere.


Put them all together and this piece spells WE LOVE CASHMAN and is good enough but falls just short. As does he.

Doug K.

JM said...

Doug--I laughed, I cried, I gnashed my teeth in righteous anger. Great list.

There is nothing we can do now. Nothing we can say to stop whatever the hollow-eyed genius has up his sleeve or whoever he is stalking.

All we can do is quietly close our eyes and remember the days when Reggie and Thurman and Billy and all the other wackjobs who didn't play well with others delivered championships, instead of being traded away because the other kids didn't like them. (And I refuse to criticize Red for bumbling around in RF when he should never be playing there in the first place. He's a left fielder, dammit. And even then, his overall fielding is not really bad.)

So it goes in the Sensitive Generation. Don't kill my chill, man, and don't have an attitude about the graham crackers they serve at nap time.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


Nice job on that, Doug K.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Brilliant work, Doug K.!!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Good things to be said about Brian Cashman:

—He's become pretty good at dumpster diving. Sure, it's the easiest part of the job. But he's pulled us out some beauts.

—Unlike the owner, I get the feeling he would really LIKE to win.

—He has NOT resorted to a toupee. Despite early balding, he has just let it go naturally. No toup, no weird comb-overs or male hair products. You gotta respect that.

—He is always neatly groomed. Sure, he's not a formal guy, but he always seems to wear clean shirts, jeans without holes in them, and (probably) clean socks, too.

—The team has NOT moved to a city in California during his tenure in office. Or even to New Jersey. That puts him ahead of the likes of Walter O'Malley and Horace Stoneham right there.

—The Yankees still play on real grass. He never succumbed to the lure of artificial turf.

—He is a free thinker, unconcerned conventional wisdom. Some general managers assume that a pitcher who needs a major arm operation is a bad risk. Not Brian Cashman.

—He refuses to be intimidated by more knowledgeable and popular baseball men, such as Derek Jeter. "Well you can stand Brian up at the gates of hell/ But he won't back down..."

—He has never tried to poison anyone with radioactive materials. Which of course puts him far ahead of a world leader like Vladimir Putin.

—He has never had a critic murdered, and dismembered with bone saws. Which is good for us.

—He has adamantly ignored all the PC brouhaha over rat turds in the food. He understands that rats need somewhere to relieve themselves, too.

We love you, Brian!

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Doug K, that was an absolute MIC DROP>>> WOW!!!!!!!!!

And Hoss, your brilliance is blinding, LOL>> WOW X 2!!!!

OK OK, thank you mighty Cashman for DJ, Gio, Didi and Luuuuke, and alright, for some others as well,,,,

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Actually, ALL the kids on this current team,,,, except for Stanton, tho I don't consider Stanton a kid, lol

KD said...

Cash has built a fine team for the regular season, I grant him that.

Anonymous said...

HOSS, IF WE WIND UP WITH ANY PITCHER BESIDES BUMGARNER, I MAY TAKE THE BONE SAW OUT OF THE GARAGE.

Anonymous said...

....AND KD IS RIGHT.

COOP HAS BUILT A FINE TEAM FOR THE REGULAR SEASON.

....BUT THIS YEAR, THE ROAD MAP TO NAVIGATING THE POST SEASON IS CLEAR.

CLIFF LEE. (MISSED THE BOAT).

JUSTIN VERLANDER. (SHIP HAS SAILED).

MADISON BUMGARNER. (THERE SHOULD BE NO ONE ELSE ON OUR LIST).

MAKE IT HAPPEN COOP....

....OR FEEL THE WRATH.

Mike Fan Cessa said...

Thank you ALL-CAPS for making me think about this more fully than I had. I was thinking Scherzer, not because it is in any way a doable deal but because I was thinking of a pretty-much fail-safe winner. Which Scherzer is...in the regular season.

But do you want rings, or do you want to fuck around?

Bumgarner came as close as can be to winning a World Series by himself. It was a few years ago and may have been a fluke, but the facts remain that he did it. Who else has? Mickey Lolich, maybe?


The list is short, and CAPS is correct.

Anonymous said...

TY FAN CESSA...

THE CHOICE IS CLEAR TO ME.

EXACTLY.

WHY FUCK AROUND?

WE HAVE THE PROSPECTS.

IT'S TIME TO GET THE GUY WE TRULY NEED TO PUT US OVER THE TOP IN THE POST SEASON.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Well, Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling, he says bitterly.

Beyond that, Lew Burdette, Christy Mathewson, Babe Adams, Bob Gibson, and Sandy Koufax. But you're right, there ain't many of them.

Trouble is, ALL-CAPS, that last big postseason of his was in 2014, 5 years ago. He hasn't won more than 6 games since 2016. And his ERA this year is now 4.03—closing in on a full run above what it was just LAST year.

I think this guy is done. And I don't know if we really have enough to get him anyway, due to the Giants' inflated expectations.

Scherzer, on the other hand, still has it, and has pitched some terrific postseason games (against us, for instance: 2-0, 2 earned runs in 13 innings).

But I don't think HAL will ever pick up that contract. Which will leave us with one of Cash's miserable, "young arm" picks.

Hello, Robbie Ray/ Matt Boyd/ Zack Wheeler.

Anonymous said...

I HEAR YOU HOSS....

.....BUT WE HAVE TO TAKE THE CHANCE WITH MADBUM.

VERLANDER LOOKED LIKE HE WAS LOSING IT TOO BEFORE THE ASTROS GOT HIM.

I WOULD BET ON BUMGARNER IN THIS SITUATION...100%.

HE IS ONLY 29, AS SCHERZER IS 35.

WE TOOK A CHANCE ON SONNY GRAY, SO WHY NOT PULL THE TRIGGER ON A 29 YEAR OLD, LEFTY, THAT HAS DOMINATED IN THE PLAYOFFS AND WORLD SERIES IN THE PAST?

CRAZY TO TARGET ANYONE ELSE.

WHY GET RID OF OUR BEST PROSPECTS FOR NO BETTER THAN A #3 OR #4 STARTER THAT PROBABLY WON'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE IN THE POST-SEASON?