HoraceClarke66: DEFUND THE YANKEES

 From the tortured laptop of HoraceClarke66...

Yes, it’s come to this.

Several of us have suggested this already. Others felt it was too extreme, too radical.

“Reform the Yankees,” we suggested instead. “Reinvent the Yankees. Reimagine the Yankees.”

Nope.

Your New York Yankees, into which we fans have poured untold billions of dollars—not to mention countless amounts of time, energy, and caring—have gone rogue, playing something resembling major-league baseball only on those rare occasions when they feel like it.

Our New York Yankees, whom all New Yorkers have been forced to subsidize with billions of dollars in tax breaks, two lousy but expensive new stadiums, the sacrifice of a beloved public park, and the construction of a minor-league park in Staten Island—which the Yankees have now capriciously abandoned—our New York Yankees have become a lawless authority unto themselves, resisting any public pressure to hire competent personnel and arrest their years-long decline.

It is time to DEFUND THE YANKEES.

We must resist the temptation to spend another dollar on Yankees tickets, rat-gnawed Stadium food products, Stadium swill brew, or Yankees memorabilia.  

(Unless, of course, you promised the kids, or somebody’s in from out of town.)

We must resist the temptation to purchase any new Yankees “streaming” services, to be watched on any other devices, including iphones or ipads, or to be conveyed by telegram, carrier pigeon, or smoke signal.

We must resist the temptation to buy or patronize any and all “Official products of the New York Yankees,” including the official cars, mattresses, pool-cleaning, and crime-scene splatter cleaning services so designated. 

We must buy nothing from W.B. Mason (which runs an identical series of ads on Red Sox channels anyway). We must not, under any circumstances, donate any kars to Kars-for-Kids.

I would advocate that we also cancel our YES channels, but we must keep some measure in reserve, in case our first efforts are not successful.  We must resist, in the end, listening to any of the many sources of Yankees propaganda, save for the mellifluous voice of The Master (and Suzy).

Brothers, sisters, and those of assorted, gender-plural pronouns:  I’m not saying this will be easy. But come take my hand, and stand by my side and I guarantee we will see a new, pinstriped day a-dawning by and by!