It's time for the Death Barge to respond - in kind. This horrible team has already displayed a genius for blowing 9th-inning leads and hitting clutch DP grounders, but this week, they outdid themselves.
According to reports, one of the Yankee Covid Six never got vaccinated, helping to birth the current roster meltdown. If that's true... well... whomever it is, I sincerely wish him a full recovery - after coughing his lungs into burnt matchsticks and begging the nurses to let him die. Sadly, we can't vaccinate for stupidity. This guy infected his team during the season's most critical stretch, and he should be traded for a box of Cheetos, even if his last name happens to be Judge.
As the Aug. 1 deadline approaches, unless this team goes on a tear - (there I go again, falling into the "what if?" trap, why do I do this?) - the Yankees should ditch all playoff fantasies and start thinking of 2022-23. It's not a fun thought. Their roster is so larded with overpaid albatrosses that Food Stamps Hal Steinbrenner - who somehow sees himself as a crafty businessman - will need to pay opposing teams to absorb them. For reasons worthy of a tell-all book, Hal will never fire GM Brian "Cooperstown" Cashman, but Cash should be promoted to an office with no phone or internet connection and given the job of cutting ribbons during Hope Week. All those big money names on the Yankee masthead - the Randys, the Damons, the Lonns - should be dispatched to Oregon with squirt guns and electric fans.
We should view the remainder of 2021 as a Covid mini-season, with a surge already underway, thanks in part to folks like the unvaccinated Yank. Some thoughts on the deadline...
1. Trade Aroldis. This won't be easy. El Chapo makes $16 million per season through 2023. We'll have to pay half his salary. But if last night's scoreless ninth was a symbolic victory, it's worth noting that two blasts nearly left the park (and judging from Chappy's body language, he thought Rafael Devers' ball was gone), he walked a batter with a pitch in the dirt, and his pickoff toss was Knoblauchian. No way can I imagine him saving a one-run game. Maybe a five-run lead? That might work. (Oh, wait... Boone didn't do it last time, eh?) Trade him. Whatever we can get.
2. Trade Gary Sanchez. If necessary, release the Kraken. I know he's gone on a nice little streak, raising his average to a Ruthian .215, and I do respect his willingness to adapt. But last night, Gary was back to lunging at balls in the dirt, and we've seen this movie before. The time to trade him is now, while he's still above .200. Whatever we can get.
3. Trade Giancarlo. Okay, this will be really expensive. We may have to kick in $50 million - or more. So be it. He is a middling DH whose inability to play the outfield clogs up the roster. Last night, when he fanned in the ninth, the boos were loud. They will get louder. Why put this guy through hell? Trade him. Whatever we can get.
4. Trade Zack Britton. Give him a few outings to re-establish his sinker, then put him up for auction. Right now, we don't need a closer. There's nothing to close. If that changes, we have Jonathan Loaisiga. Whatever we can get.
5. Use the rest of the season to decide on Clint Frazier and Miguel Andujar. We could trade either, but for what? Sidney Ponson's lost nephew? Devote the second half of 2021 to evaluating them, once and for all. Put Clint in CF and let Miggy play 3B, where their trade values are highest.
6. Consider any offer. I'd hate to see Aaron Judge go, but - well - you know what? I could live with it. Same with DJ LeMahieu. Even Gerrit Cole (whom we will surely destroy with more outings like the complete game in Houston.) I love these guys. But in the words of John Irving: When the dear disappear, someone else is always near.
This is a horror show, one of the most disappointing Yankee seasons, ever. It needs to lead to something better.
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8 comments:
El Duque, This team is screwed. It will be close to 100m To get rid of Chapman & Stanton and I'm not sure anyone wants either one. You can probably get some A player for Sanchez. But this team will be irrelevant for the next 5-10 years. The only thing Cashman can do is spend $$ and you don't have any to spend. He's incapable of building a team. Who in their right mind puts together a Yankee team without Left-handed power hitters. Until this team is sold, they will be the Knicks of MLB.
The best time to get rid of huge salary players and get some prospects in return would be just before the trade deadline. Who would want Chapman & Stanton? Someone who thinks they just need a slugger or a closer to be a WS champ. A change of scenery might do both of them good. And if we can't trade them, it's probably better for the team to just cut them loose, d/f/a them.
I don't have any problem trading Cole either. He probably should bring back some top prospects. Same with Judge. If we shoot for three years down the line, these guys will be well past their prime. They're better off somewhere else.
Sanchez might get us a top prospect or two. Catchers are always valuable, and some other team probably turns him back into an All-Star. I don't know if he could be traded mid-season, though. Teams are reluctant to bring in a new catcher in the middle of a season. It's probably better to wait until the winter to move him. But if we can get a good offer, then by all means.
However, I highly doubt that anything significant will happen, whether at the deadline or even this winter. Brain-less Cashman will figure out a way to save his butt from the fire. He will re-sign Brett Gardner. He will keep most of the kids down at AAA until they're 28 or 29 years old. They will ride this thing out until the wheels come completely off because they never do anything rash. So we are doomed to mediocrity for at least the next ten years.
The Hammer of God
BTW, if there was an unvaccinated player, he should have been wearing a mask at all times when at the games. Perhaps he had a medical reason to not get vaccinated, so I don't think we can condemn anyone without knowing the facts. But he should have been masked.
Even if you are fully vaccinated, there's still a chance you can get the virus. It only means that your chances of developing full blown coronavirus and dying of it are reduced. Therefore, unmasking everyone was probably a dumb idea. That one would be on Fauci and the CDC. Lots of dumb mistakes by the CDC.
The Hammer of God
I'm for all of the above suggestions about deconstruction—although it would probably save the Yankees a considerable amount of money just to play Stanton in the OF until he breaks.
But none of it is going to happen.
As has oft been said, a fish rots from the head down. This Yankees team rots from the top, where the GM is a megalomaniac moron, and the owner doesn't give a damn.
2027. I'm telling you: that's the first time you can look for serious change.
LET'S SAVE THAT STARTING LINEUP JPEG SO THAT, ONE DAY, WHEN WE ARE SITTING AROUND THE FIRE, BLANKETS IN OUR LAPS, FARTING FROM OLD AGE, WE CAN HAVE SOMETHING TO LAUGH AT.
If the receiving team pays the amount Stanton and Chapman are actually worth, there might be takers. Will Hall bite the bullet and eat that much of their salaries? That seems unlikely, but hey. Ya never know.
With all due respect from Oregon, please don't send them here. we already have a team with terrible roster construction. High payroll mediocrity. I would offer a trade of olshey for cashman, but I don't think it will help either team.
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