Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Dear CC;

In about 6 minutes, I dive into steak and eggs, along with my 16 oz. bloody mary.

I am formally inviting CC to come over and drink with me tonight.  A pitcher of vodka martinis will help him forget his recent publicity and, okay, " troubles."

He has to know that the Yankees will lose tonight, otherwise he will have guilt forever about abandoning his team at their moment of need.  And just for a shot of rye and a beer.

The first thing I will tell him is that alcoholism is not a problem when you have millions, stay at home,. don't drive and have no family or friends.

The second is; starting tomorrow, you  do two things.  One; you give up drinking and check into that clinic.  Be sure and converse in the group sessions.  Don't sign autographs because you are now just a bum like everyone else.

Two; give the Yankees a check for $50million.  You have been a drunk for years ( don't say it just happened ), and, in effect, have been stealing the Yankees money.  Your record has been putrid, your uniform doesn't fit, and you can go into the Hall of Dirt with the Indians' capon your fuzzy head.

No we all know why they were laughing at Brian Cashman when you got on the bus for NYC.

I really feel sorry for this guy.

3 comments:

Tom said...

"I am formally inviting CC to come over and drink with me tonight. A pitcher of vodka martinis will help him forget his recent publicity and, okay, " troubles." "

A more generous offer has never been issued.If they didn't have him locked in a room somewhere with no contact with the outside world, I'm sure he'd take you up on it, Alphonso.

Tom said...

CORRECTION!!! ... RALLY CAPS!

Anonymous said...

HEY, I LIKE CC A LOT, BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO CC's HEALTH KICK??? REMEMBER HIS COUSIN OR WHATEVER DIED AT 45 BECAUSE HE WAS TOO "BIG"??? CC THEN LOST A LOAD OF WEIGHT(AND HIS FASTBALL)...WAS THAT LAST YEAR?..OR THE YEAR BEFORE? I LOVE HOW EVERYONE KEEPS USING THE WORD "COURAGE" WHEN TALK ABOUT CC COMING CLEAN...COURAGE IS CHRIS KYLE, NOT DRINKING ON THE 4 DAYS YOU'RE OFF IN BETWEEN STARTS!...DON'T FORGET THE CAPS TOM..(AT LEAST UNTIL THE PLAYOFFS ARE OVER)....lol