FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

MASAHIRO BUMGARNER, ANYONE? WE GO FROM WHITEY FORD TO BETTY FORD. IT'S WILD CARD RALLY CAPS DAY: WRITE IN YOUR RALLY CAPS WHY THE YANKEES WILL EITHER WIN OR GO HOME, (OR TO REHAB)

IT'S RALLY CAPS DAY. UPPER CASE, EVERYBODY! GET UP, GET UP, GET UP! IMAGINE ME SHOUTING, BECAUSE DAMMIT, THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING!

THE MORE I THINK ABOUT CC SABATHIA, THE LOUDER I GET.

THE YANKEES CAN SPIN THIS LIKE DOROTHY HAMILL, BUT I FIND IT IMPOSSIBLE TO BELIEVE - AS MANAGEMENT CONTENDS - THAT NOBODY HAD AN INKLING OF CC'S PROBLEMS.

NOR DO I BUY IT THAT AS SOON AS HE ASKED FOR HELP, THE FRANCHISE RALLIED BEHIND HIM. MY GUESS IS PEOPLE KNEW, BUT JUST FIGURED HE COULD RIDE IT THROUGH OCTOBER AND THEN DRY OUT. THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN DEALT WITH WEEKS, MONTHS AGO. HOW MANY WARNING SIGNS DID THEY IGNORE?

NOR DOES CC GET A COMPLETE PASS. ALCOHOLISM IS A MONSTER, BUT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO LEAD THIS TEAM. I WONDER: HOW MANY YOUNGSTERS WERE TRYING TO KEEP PACE WITH HIM AT THE BAR? WAS HE DRINKING DURING GAMES?

SINCE THE ALL-STAR BREAK, EVERY TIME YOU THOUGHT THE YANKEES' PREDICAMENT COULDN'T GET WORSE, SOME NEW PROBLEM EMERGED. IT'S BEEN A STEADILY SINKING BARGE. WE'VE GONE FROM CAPTAIN JETER TO CAPTAIN MORGAN, FROM MR. OCTOBER TO MR. OCTOBERFEST. WHAT OTHER SECRETS ARE LURKING BEHIND THIS ASTONISHING MELTDOWN?

TODAY, WE EITHER SALVAGE THE SEASON OR SHUT THE DOOR ON ONE OF THE MOST DEPRESSING YANKEE ENDINGS IN MEMORY...

IF IT'S THE LATTER, THE SMELL WILL LINGER FOR A LONG TIME.

17 comments:

KD said...

WE WILL WIN BECAUSE WE ARE DUE. YOU CAN'T LOSE THEM ALL, YOU KNOW.

IN OTHER WORDS, BLIND FAITH IS ALL I GOT. THERE IS LITTLE LOGIC IN PREDICTING WE'LL WIN THIS ONE.

PERSONAL NOTE: I HAVE TICKETS TO TONIGHT'S GAME BUT GOT STUCK GIVNIG A PRESENTATION IN WASHINGTON DC. BUT THIS IS GOOD FOR THE YANKEES. MY JUJU WAS BEEN LESS THAN POTENT OF LATE, TO SAY THE LEAST.

GO YANKEES!!

KD said...

YOU CAN'T PREDICT BASEBALL! THERE'S ALSO THAT.

Dutchfan said...

TONIGHT THE YANKEES WILL WIN. BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE A TEAM. A TEAM THAT RALLIES BEHIND THE SICK AND TROUBLED. A TEAM THAT TAKES 1 LAST DEEP BREATH AND SOMEHOW, SOMEWHERE FINDS A COUPLE OF HITS IN THE FIRST AND THEN HAVE WARREN, WILSON, BETANCES AND MILLER EACH THROW 2 PERFECT . TANAKA? OUT AFYER TWO WITH HAMSTRING TIGHTNESS.
AND THEN WE CAN ALL GO TO BED TO GET LAUGHTERED IN THE FIRST ACTUAL POST SEASON SERIES.

John M said...

I HAD NO IDEA CAPS WERE RALLY CAPS. I JUST THOUGHT THEY WERE CAPS. SHOWS YOU WHAT I KNOW.

THE OLD ANONYMOUS NEVER USED CAPS TO INSULT PEOPLE. I GUESS HE DIDN'T WANT ANY RALLIES.

WE ARE DOOMED. LIKE DUTCH SAID, EVEN IF WE SQUEAK THROUGH TONIGHT, WE HAVE NOTHING IN THE TANK BEYOND THAT.

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE MERCIFUL TO FINISH IN FOURTH, BUT I DON'T WANT TO TAKE THE BREAD OUT OF TAMPA'S MOUTH, EITHER.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

MAKE MINE A DOUBLE M (STOLIS'S -- IT'S WHAT'S FOR BREAKFAST)

cabish47 said...

WILL ANONYMOUS POST IN LOWER CAPS TODAY?

TONIGHT WILL BE A LOSS. MY ONLY HOPE IT IS NOT A HEARTBREAKER. HOW ABOUT A CRISP KEUCHEL SHUTOUT WHILE TANAKA GIVES UP A COUPLE. THEN WE CAN FORGET THIS MISERABLE SEASON.

ceeja said...

HOUSTON??? HOUSTON??!! HOUSTON!! WEREN'T THEY RELEGATED FROM THE NATIONAL LEAGUE? AREN'T THESE THE GUYS WHO BROUGHT US ENRON? ISN'T THIS THE WORST DESIGNED BIT OF URBAN SPRAWL THIS SIDE OF THE THIRD WORLD? SEND THESE CRACKER BASTARDS BACK BELOW THE MASON DIXON LINE. LET'S GO W.T.SHERMAN ON THEIR REBEL ASSES. THE BEARDED FUCKERS.

Alphonso said...

THIS IS ALL BULLSHIT. I DRINK FAR MORE THAN CC AND I CAN PROBABLY PITCH AS WELL ( NOW THAT WE KNOW). I THINK HE NEEDS TO REMIT $50 MILLION OF HIS OUTRAGEOUS PAY TO THE YANKEES FOR CONTRACT VIOLATION.

I AGREE WITH DUQEE THAT EVERYONE ON THE TEAM KNEW, FOR YEARS PROBABLY. WHO WAS HIS DESIGNATED DRIVER? IF JOBA HAD ONE BACK IN NEBRASKA, HE NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN ARRESTED FOR DUI AND LET GO BY THE PRUDE YANKEES.

WHAT A DISGRACE. BAILING ON YOUR TEAM AT THE WORST POSSIBLE MOMENT?

CC KNOWS WE WON'T WIN TONIGHT AND THAT WILL KEEP HIM OFF THE HOOK AS A SNIVELING COWARD, AFRAID TO PITCH.

I DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR THIS PIECE OF CRAP. HE HAS KNOWN THIS FOR YEARS!

IF I HAD HIS NUMBER, I'D INVITE HIM TO HAVE MARTINIS WITH ME TONIGHT, AND WATCH THE FUCKING YANKEES LOSE.

KD said...

REMEMBER ROGER CLEMONS. KILL THE DAMN LASTROS!

Alibi Ike said...

MY FINGERTIPS ARE ALREADY HOARSE! OWWW!

Ken of Brooklyn said...

I LEAVE FOR LONDON THREE DAYS AGO AND I DIDN'T THINK THINGS COULD GO FROM BAD TO WORST< YIKES, CC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND I AGREE THAT EVERYONE KNEW ABOUT CC, SOMETHING'S REALLY FISHY CONCERNING THE TIMING OF THIS "REVELATION".

RALLY CAPS RALLY CAPS RALLY CAPS< NOT SURE IF I'M PISSED OR THRILLED I'LL BE TIME ZONED OUT FROM LISTENING TONIGHT IN REAL TIME,,,,,,RALLY CAPS!

I FEEL THE WORST FOR JOHN AND SUZYN< WHAT A TERRIBLE WAY TO END THE YEAR< I'VE BEEN ABLE TO TURN OFF THE RADIO OVER THE LAST # WEEKS< THEY'VE HAD TO ENDURE AND COMMENT ON EVERY FRICKIN' MINUTE OF THIS STINKING COLLAPSE< URRGG!

RALLY CAPS> GO YANKS> RALLY CAPS> IF THERE IS A GOD, RALLY CAPS N' GO YANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

OK...LETS ALL CALM DOWN (OLD ANONYMOUS HERE)-I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M THE ONE TELLING EVERYONE TO CALM DOWN...ANYWAY, LETS THINK OF THIS GAME AS A "WIN-WIN" SITUATION. IF WE WIN, WE GO PLAY KC, AND DAMMIT I THINK WE CAN ACTUALLY BEAT THEM (WE DID DURING THE SEASON)...IF GOD FORBID WE LOSE, WE WIN IN THE FORM OF BITCHING AND MOANING AND SCREAMING AND FUCKING YELLING, FLIPPING OVER TABLES, CALLING OUR SENATOR, AND THEN TRYING TO REACH YANKEE HEADQUARTERS LEAVING THE MESSAGE, "WTF ARE YOU GUYS DOING, WITH THIS BARGAIN BASEMENT BULLSHIT??? WE ARE THE NEW YORK YANKEES! STOP ACTING LIKE FREDDY COUPON AND THE METS!..2016 WILL BE HORRIBLE IF THIS SAME TEAM RETURNS JUST SO WE CAN "GET RID OF THE BIG CONTRACTS"...GOT IT?...OK,GOOD...NOW, LETS GET TO WORK!!!..THANK YOU FOR TAKING MY C-SUCKING CALL."

Mustang said...

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Tom said...

DO IT FOR JOHN AND SUZYN! RALLY CAPS!

BernBabyBern said...

DAMN THE ASTROS FOR STEALING ANDY PETTITTE FROM US FOR THOSE LOST SEASONS!! BASTARDS!!

BernBabyBern said...

DAMN THE ASTROS FOR STEALING ANDY PETTITTE FROM US FOR THOSE LOST SEASONS!! BASTARDS!!

KD said...

DAMN THE ASTROS FOR STEALING ROGER CLEMENS FROM US WHERE HE WON ANOTHER CY YOUNG AFTER HE FUCKING TOLD US HE WANTED TO RETIRE A YANKEE!!!

HATE IS NOT TOO STRONG A WORD.