FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS

Thursday, October 1, 2015

The regular season can't end too quickly for these stumbling, backpedaling Yankees.

Tonight, presumably, somebody will lose somewhere, and Yankee Stadium will finally erupt in cheers, as the Evil Army topples backwards into the 2015 Wild Card game.

What a disaster. This should be a night of celebration.

What a disaster.

Other teams are making their final drive - the Redsocks look like next year's Blue Jays - while the old, tired and bloated Yankees drunkenly backpedal, watching the scoreboard and praying to be saved by the bell.

If the season lasted another week, we'd fall out of it altogether.

What a disaster.

Last night, waiting for the Yankees to lose, I had the creeping sense that the entire season was just a practical joke. Brett Gardner comes up in the 11th, and they flash his batting average: .261. Two sixty one? Dear God, what happened to this guy? Two sixty one? He made the all-star team. He was chasing .300. Two sixty one? And with the bases loaded, Gardner swings at the first pitch and hits a meek grounder to second. WTF happened to this guy?

And then there's Didi Gregorius, who goes 0-for-5. At one point, they intentionally walk Rob Refsnyder to pitch to him. Refsnyder, in his first week of playing. And it works. Didi swings at the first pitch. Poof. He's now hitting .262. Two sixty two. For the last month, we've heard nothing but superlatives about Didi - Cashman's great pickup - but across the way, the Redsocks have a future MVP at shortstop, and something tells me, the Didi Era might not be remembered for celebrations.

Then we have our two Yankees Forever - or at least three more years: Jacoby Ellsbury is hitting .261. Two sixty one? And Chase the Overthrow Headley's at .262. Two sixty two. I'm sensing a Cashmanocci numerical sequence. .261, .262, .261, .262... what comes next? Well, how about .252 - which is A-Rod's BA, and then .234, which is Brian McCann.

Have we been so corrupted by the home run that even non-sluggers swing for the fences? That's what happened to Stephen Drew, who traded 17 HRs for a career-ending batting average. (Though, as KD pointed out yesterday, by getting hurt, Drew ends the season above .200!)

Yeesh. What happened to this team? They were seven games up in July, and Cashman was going to the Hall of Fame. Now, we've done more choking than Jonathan Papelbon, and we're aimlessly watching the scoreboard, hoping to be rescued by the Cleveland Indians.

What a disaster. Iceberg, dead ahead. And this one is going to sting for a long time.

6 comments:

KD said...

Such a sense of foreboding in the Yankeeverse I can almost taste it.

somebody ought to be merciful and put poor Chasen Shreve out of his misery.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

This last 2 weeks has taken that tiny ember of joy that was somehow still smoldering and snuffed it out in a way so debased, so diabolical, so foul, urrggg, gawd, can't find the words cannot adequately describe it.
Recently I can't watch or listen to this team, I've spent the last several series sneaking peeks at the progress of the game on my phone, so tempted to tune in when they go ahead, then, boom, they crap the bed, fall flat on their face, or get bitch slapped by the guy that just bedded their wife and stole their job.

Humiliating, just humiliating,,,,,

ceeja said...

Well it will be a one day postseason at best. In the words of the Gorn: "I will be merciful and quick."

Bye Bye Balboni said...

Two things we should remember:

1. I don't think anyone thought this team would even finish over .500, let alone be in contention for the stupid one game play-in. This was a legit pretty good team from May through August. So we crapped the bed the last month -- that's how we all thought it was going to be all season. So we should be happy that the nightmare only lasted part of the season.

2. As bad as this is, remember 2000. If memory serves, the Yanks lost something like 15 of their last 18, and most of them were embarrassing, 12-to-1-type blowouts. They stumbled into the postseason with 87 wins and squeaked out an ALDS win against Oakland before finding their footing and coasting the rest of the way. I'm not saying that will happen this year, because the 2000 team was better than this one in just about every way. I'm just saying there's a precedent.

ceeja said...

They look like they are going to lose every game left in the season. They've just absolutely tanked at several points in the season, whereas in 2000 it was one major funk at the very end of the season. They look very, very bad.

Fred Chicken Stanley said...

So, you CAN predict baseball!