FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Tonight on YES: An exciting lineup no Yankee fan will want to miss


No need to watch the Mets, Astros or Blue Jays: The Empire strikes back tonight on YES, with funny Seth Meyers! collectible Brandon Steiner! THE Greg Norman! and a special swing clinic with Jimmy Hanlin, which is guaranteed to put wood in your stroke!

Let's all be there! Tonight on YES! where the programmers provide hits in the same magnitude as the Yankee batting order: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING GOING ON! 

But wait! At 11 o'clock, will you know where your children are? They'll be watching "Best of Michael Kay Show," featuring the best of Michael Kay from the non-best of Michael Kay Show. The neatest part of watching the full Michael Kay Show each day is picking out which fascinating segment will be selected for the "Best of Michael Kay Show" that night. It's like deciding who Joe will call from the Yankee pen - Chasen Shreve or Nick Rumbelow?

I suppose there other TV networks are running drivel. Do those other teams still play? I heard something about some kind of extra Wild Card round? Where other cities put on games? Not that I care. None of those teams matter. The Blue Jays merely beat us in the regular season. The Astros merely beat us in the Wild Card. The Mets merely own NYC. And the Cards merely have become the new dynasty. But who cares! I bet that Brandon Steiner will have some new and intriguing dirt from the old Yankee Stadium. Fascinating!

Hey, am I sounding sarcastic? My goodness, don't want that! I'll have Jimmy Hanlin coming after me with his nine-iron! Tonight on YES, everybody Wang Chung! It's good to know this franchise has its act together on every level. Wait! Did somebody say we can relive the best of Hope Week? I must be frickin' dreaming!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

.....AND DON'T FORGET THE SOCCER (WHEN IT'S ON)!!! ANOTHER KICK TO THE STOMACH TO US YANKEE FANS WAS HEARING A HAL STEINBRENNER INTERVIEW AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS PAST SEASON SAYING, "MY BROTHER HANK LOVES SOCCER. ANY KIND OF SOCCER. HE WATCHES SOCCER ALL DAY. HE IS A SOCCER NUT."..... I SAID TO MYSELF, "HUH?...WHAT?..HOW CAN THAT BE? HIS FATHER WAS A MANIAC YANKEE OWNER THAT WAS ALSO A CRAZY FAN (GOD BLESS HIM), SO HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?" ...SOUNDS LIKE A "REBELLION"?...OR MAYBE GEORGE WAS UNABLE TO SPEND ENOUGH TIME WITH THE "YOUNG ELEPHANTS".....I DON'T KNOW, BUT I DO KNOW THAT ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE IS THIS NYCFC SOCCER CLUB PLAYING GAMES IN YANKEE STADIUM, WITH CROWDS CHEERING LOUDER THAN AT THE YANKEE GAMES.....I AM NOT "HATING" ON SOCCER LOVERS HERE...BUT I FEEL SOMEWHAT, "JILTED" THAT MY TEAMS OWNERSHIP, SUDDENLY MAY HAVE A NEW GIRLFRIEND.....HEY YOUNG ELEPHANTS! PAY MORE ATTENTION TO THE NEW YORK YANKEES!...AND, DON'T BE CHEAP! IT NEVER WORKS IN NEW YORK IF YOU WANT TO WIN! (YOUR DAD LEARNED THAT IN THE 80'S)...

KD said...

I'll spend my evenings playing Hay Day instead.

anybody got any fish pies for my boat order?

Mustang said...

Duque, you're right about the best part of watching Michael Kay. There should be a Michael Kay Show fantasy site where we all get to pick which segment will be on Best of, and if we're right we win a million dollars!

Alphonso said...

The ironic thing about Hal's soccer obsession is that, with the exception of the USA women's team, the mens' soccer from the US is putrid. Can't beat anyone. We lose to Honduras. We will likely not make the olympics.

Oddly, the USMNT is a team of mediocre, over-the-hill, old players, who once were average ( on the world stage ) and who now suck. They are embarrassing to watch. Once the other team scores, it is over.

So Hal is passing on his soccer learning to the Yankees. An aged team with no prospects.

ceeja said...

Your Yankee experience from 2010 to 2015: heartbreaking failures to make the playoffs and heartbreaking failures once you reach the playoffs. The Minnesota Twins won the World Series in 1987 and 1991. What do you think it's been like to be a Twins fan the last 24 years? Five times worse plus even more so since they finished in the cellar a number of those years.

The first 11 years I followed the Yanks (1965-75), they had one legitimately good team (1970) that still finished more than 10 game behind the Orioles. Since then, they've won championships in 1977, 1978, 1996, 1998, 1999, 2000, and 2009 -- and they went to the World Series in 4 more years.

It's been a good run. They'll be back in the Series by 2020.