Thursday, December 1, 2011

Cashman back to the ledge? If something goes wrong, how would The Master call it?

There comes a threshold in life when the male office worker wonders whether he is a hunter or a gatherer, a predator or prey, a Mickey Mantle or a Mickey Klutz? It's been called the "midlife crisis," "male menopause" and "having an off-year." (Scientists created a pill for it, with the caveat that if it works for more than four hours, you should go to an emergency room immediately.)

Last year, in his undisputed role as "Cock o' the Walk" in the Yankiverse, Brian Cashman - a former front office college intern - has : 1) Rappeled down a skyscraper, 2) Refused to make trades, 3) Slept on sidewalks, 4) Turned into Shecky Green on radio call in shows.

This weekend, he's back out on the ledge. It's a charity thing. Fine. And maybe it's a no-brainer, where sherpas do the work, and it only looks dangerous. OK. But a five-story drop will hurt one's golf game. And this weekend, Yankee fans must ponder the unponderable:

What if Cashman falls? Does John Sterling have a call for that?

Some possibilities:

"CASH GOES SPLASH!

"BRIAN CASHMAN, YOU'RE QUITE THE CRASH MAN!"

"BRIAN... START CRYIN!"

"HE'S JUMPIN' JACK CASH, AND IT'S A GAS, GAS, GAS!"

"HE DOES THE MASH, HE'S DOES THE MONSTER MASH, AND IT'S A SMASH, HE DOES A GRAVEYARD CASH."

1 comment:

Joe De Pastry said...

He was high, he went far, he is gone.