Wednesday, March 10, 2021

Tragedy tomorrow (er, yesterday), comedy tonight

Make no mistake, Britton's bone chip is indeed a tragedy.

And as for the gimmicky Gas Station, something smells.

My solution is: stop trying to gas everyone. What our bullpen needs is a Folly Floater specialist. An old knuckleballer. A sidearm snake with Coke-bottle glasses. Guys who are no less iffy than what we're trotting out, but are vastly more entertaining.

Remember, sports are entertainment, and entertainment has room for tragedy, drama, tension, conflict, and yes, comedy. 

We lack comedy. Maybe the best idea would be a reliever whose pants fall down during his follow-through to reveal boxer shorts with the Yankees logo, or a pattern featuring a head shot of Rizzuto. In fact, maybe he has a steady supply of different funny boxers, and when he comes to the mound, we wait to see what wacky Underoos he's sporting today.

Talk about putting fannies in the seats. Ratings gold.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

JM,

I like the Rizzuto underoos and you're right, this team is too serious. They could use a little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down their pants.

The pie thing worked in 2009. Perhaps walk offs hitters can be greeted with a face full of Bud Light Seltzer. Seltzer is always funny AND I'm smelling sponsorship.

Clearly Frazier has a little Super Dave in him. We could work with that.

We could go circus themed...

They could bring back the bull pen car and fill it full of clowns. The bull pen has clowns to spare. (Insert your least favorite Yankee relievers here)

Arron Boone could juggle the line-up.

Instead of weighted bats Stanton could swing a pair of lovely assistants in the on deck circle.

Oh, I know...

Whoopie Bases! First Base is actually a whoopie cushion and every time Voit makes a play it goes Bllllllllpppppppppp!

Hilarity ensues.

Doug K.





el duque said...

Then: La Lob.

Now: La Luetge.

Retired Stratman said...

Whoopie bases! Now you’re cookin’ with gas! Let the hijinks begin.

Carl J. Weitz said...

I say we reanimate and sign Mark Fidrych for mound entertainment.