Friday, June 25, 2021

Finally, it's Boston. But as Yogi might say, "It's getting early, late."

It's sorta crazy that the Death Barge has not visited Boston yet this year. Already, the Yankees have played:

13 games against Tampa
12 games against Toronto
10 games against Baltimore

and yet... a mere three - (3!) - against the Redsocks. That leaves 16 games, counting tonight, against our new millennium tormentors. Sixteen games. A tenth of the season. 

Normally, on regular meds, I would take this occasion to opine - loudly, urgently and with suitable moisture of the mouth - that tonight begets an absolutely critical series, that the Yankees must absolutely win at least two of three, that being swept would absofukkinlutely end our season, blah blah absolute blah. This would come with my usual Airing of Yankee Grievances. 

Comrades, I'm sorry. It's just not there.

After this weekend, regardless of what happens, the Yankees will still have 13 games  remaining with Boston. That's enough to settle any score, enough to put whatever transpires tonight into a deep memory hole. 

If you were expecting a "Free Britney!"-level screed about Clint Frazier, or yet another wistful take on Chris "Oumuamua" Gittens, I'm sorry. I don't have it in me. 

The current Yankees/Redsocks "rivalry" is a Ticketmaster-inspired hoax. There hasn't been an absofukkinlutely critical game between the two since the 2004 ALCS game seven  -(No, I shan't go there) - the 2018 Divisional Series, when they whupped our sorry asses us in four. Surely, the aging, White Claw-drinking frat boys of Boston will shower us with bile and bite, with spite and spit, but they know in their hearts that it's Tampa they must truly fear. And their most important looming event is the MLB draft, where their fourth pick could be the son of Al Leiter, a selection that could haunt Yankee fans for many years. If only there were a filibuster for fans. To avoid seeing Jack Leiter in a Boston jersey, I would go to the draft and talk until the end of time. But Joe Manchin would shoot me down.

Look... don't get me wrong: Tonight begins a big series - Jack Curry! Keys to the Game!  Look at that O'Neill eat! Blah blah blah. If we beat Boston in Boston, we'll win the Mayor's Trophy, vault back into the thick of the AL East - all the crap we endured in the first three months, it's window dressing at the Gap. Tampa hasn't been right since Tyler Glasnow went down, Boston looks wobbly, and let's not kid ourselves: Toronto - if and when it returns to Toronto - could be scary. (Yeesh, they're somehow still in it, too?) 

Yesterday, we kicked around a tomato can. (Twelve walks in one game? Really?) Tonight will be - well - interesting. But let's not buy into the YES narrative. Whatever happens, it's closer to the beginning than the end. There's a long, brutally hot summer ahead, people. Fires are starting. Buildings are collapsing. Viruses are mutating. God only knows what we'll look like in October. Same goes for the AL East. Sixteen games against Boston, beginning tonight. You load sixteen games, whaddaya get, another day older and deeper in debt...


Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...

You be right. From an end-of-season standings viewpoint, these games are just 3 more games. Losing all 3 ain't catastrophic.

However, it's possible that there is unvoiced unhappiness in the NYY clubhouse. We saw a bit of it from Chapman the other day, on the mound -- and I would guess most or all of us chalked it up to . . . "well, it's El Chapo, what do you expect."

But there is another possibility.

Chapman certainly has less self-control than, say, Judge or General LeMay. It's possible what came out of El C is ALSO bouncing around, unhappily, in the craniums of other players. And maybe in some internal discussions. Why the F do we have Odor? When's Gleyber gonna put hitting together with fielding? Why is Aaron Boone such a freaking idiot?

LET'S SAY THAT"S THE CASE: Who would you expect to be the first to spill the beans? Or show evidence of mental strain?

Certainly, the only 2 guys who have no beef are Gardner (lucky to have a job) and Frazier (ditto, only without the longevity).

For instance: Maybe Lasagna wonders about things, without speaking up. He turns 27 later this year -- got some (good?) years ahead of him. BUT: The team has played 74 games, he's been in 31. Project that out to Sept 30, and it's . . . what, 65 or so? Not exactly Scott-Proctor-esque . . . but maybe just a bit worrisome (to Laz). He's gotta be thinking: Am I being given the opportunity to ruin my career by Aaron Boone?

Carl J. Weitz said...

El son who works for Sam Adams/Boston Beer read your entry today and wished you'd have said "Truly-drinking frat boys of Boston" instead because White Claw is their main competition. Well, they're a distant second but still.

Speaking of Boston, since Sam Adams is the Red Sox biggest sponsor, I've been invited to take batting practice on the field at Fenway before their game against Tampa July 27. I'm not so sure I have the motivation to trek there from coastal CT to do so. What would you fellow commenters do?
If only Sam Adams sponsored the Yankees, sigh!

Carl J. Weitz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carl J. Weitz said...

Joe F B... I'd venture to say there is definitely an unhappiness in the Yankee dugout. Most players know Boone is a dope and doesn't know how to properly manage a team. But no one will express that publicly for fear of being labeled a malcontent and not a team player although a few, like Chapman, will act out a bit.

Anonymous said...


Be grateful that El Duque said White Claw because given the context, people that drink White Claw are morons. Truly drinkers on the other hand are vastly superior.

As to BP. Yes! Do it. Taking BP in any MLB Ballpark would be an amazing experience! Baseball is not like Golf where you get to play on the actual courses used by the pros. It's a rare opportunity. Go for it. And, if while on the field, you bend down to tie your shoe and quietly shove a laminated Bucky Dent card under the grass near Home Plate you would be my hero!

Doug K.

HoraceClarke66 said...

So what did Chappy say? I missed this. How could he say anything but "Sorry"?

And "The Airing of Yankee Grievances"! I love that, Duque! But don't we leave it for Festivus? Or maybe, "Mickmas" (Oct. 20, of course.).

el duque said...

Frankly, I didn't think anybody here would get the White Claw reference.

I'd do the batting practice, especially at Fenway, when you can easily pepper the Monster.

Anonymous said...

We have kids. Personally all the seltzers are pretty vile. And this coming from a person who used to have seltzer delivered by the seltzer man,

I'll take a whiskey any day.

Doug K.

Carl J. Weitz said...

LOLOL....My grandparents used to live in NYC and would get seltzer delivered to their door. Either the clear or blue plastic wrapped bottles. They were the high powered bottles that could have been used as fire extinguishers. No doubt you know what us kids used them for. Always got us in trouble.

I agree that the seltzers suck. You have to add some vodka or whiskey to make it drinkable. However, the younger demographic love them. In fact, in just a few years, they are the # 1 selling beverage of Boston Beer Company outselling any Sam Adams/Dogfish product.
Some here will be happy to know that they have entered an agreement with a Canadian cannabis company to develop and market a pot- infused beverage within 3 years.

JM said...

Back in the 90s, I was working on a big enterprise software account, and they did a series of ads featuring some of their customers. One was Sam Adams. We went to their brewery, got the tour, got some free samples, and then the fun began.

They were the worst, most verbose, pain in the ass company we worked with in the series. Way, way worse and more obnoxiously self-important than any other. They just kept adding more and more content until the ad looked like shit, with too much copy to reasonably fit. But they wouldn't budge, and the art director and designer cursed them out repeatedly during the process. I was the copywriter, but at a point, I just threw up my hands. They knew better. They wanted every detail of their "story" jammed in. I stopped drinking their beer, and that was back in the days when I drank nothing but beer and wine.

I chalked it up as yet another reason to hate Boston. Maybe the clowns we dealt with have retired by now, but I still won't drink their damn products.

Local Bargain Jerk said...

Carl J:

1) Definitely take batting practice at Fenway.

2) Wear a Yankee cap while you do so.

3) When your allotted time is up, drop your pants and take a dump on home plate. Call everyone within ear-shot "oversensitive, navel-gazing, Boston Fags." Then quickly say, "Oh, sorry! I meant fans.

4) Pull up your pants, stick your proud Yankee chin in the air, and leave.

Anonymous said...

Big game tonight. Yeah, a big game in Tampa, Islanders vs Lightning. I've been pretty busy following the hockey playoffs. Much better entertainment than MLB.

I have to say that the last week or so has been a pleasant surprise. I didn't think this Yankee team had it in them. But keep in mind that Oakland and K.C. don't know how to get our guys out, unlike the Red Sux and the Tampons. The secret, of course, is to throw head high fastballs and breaking balls in the opposite batter's box. Our guys don't have the patience to wait out pitchers, the 12 walks in the last game notwithstanding.

The bane of recent Yankee teams has once again started to rise up. I'm talking about the Arson Squad in our bullpen. Chapman was throwing 103 mph just a few days ago. Then the next day, he barely throws 98 and can't even throw a strike. It looks like Chapman should not pitch on back to back days. The doctor's going to prescribe major rest periods for both Chapman and Loiasiga. We should go to closer by committee for two or three days after a Chapman outing.

The Hammer of God

TheWinWarblist said...

The Yankees suck. They will suck tonight. They will suck all weekend and the rest of the season. My liver is already pulsating in time with my heartbeat from ethanol ingestion. At this rate, I shall be frankly jaundiced by August and comatose by Labor Day.

No matter what happens, do not be sucked in! These Yankees are built to break your heart!

Fuckers, each and every one.

TheWinWarblist said...

LBJ, you stay classy now, ya hear?

DickAllen said...

Fuck, Win! That’s about as classy an act I can think of!

Dump on it LBJ!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

"And, if while on the field, you bend down to tie your shoe and quietly shove a laminated Bucky Dent card under the grass near Home Plate you would be my hero!

Doug K. "

My second most claim to fame in life (other than being incredibly handsome) is that I was at the Bucky Dent game (birth name "Russell O'Dey". Most claim to fame, is that the scum sucking red sox management decided to sell bricks in their beer concourse where you could commemorate anything you'd like (I guess the Yankees management is not alone in being money grubbing sluts). My buddies and I decided to buy a brick, but thought that any Yankee references would be declined.

We chose "My visit was a real home run -- Russ O'Dey"

I don't visit the phenweigh very often, but I do make a pilgrimage to the brick when I do.

Larry (evil empire) Lucchino sent me a certification that it would remain in phenweigh until it is torn down. Here is a picture of said brick:

I have a replica that is signed by both Mr. Dent and Mike Torrez in my office.

Anonymous said...


That is just great!

Doug K.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Just supporting the cause, Doug.

I have friends that are (*&^^@%#$) fans, and there can occasionally be a few good people in the stands, but most of the phenweigh phaithphull are racist townie assholes. Makes you wonder what their goals in life are.

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