Wednesday, June 9, 2021

So, at least the Yankees can still beat Minnesota...

Rather than rules of etiquette or kindness, this blog has always assumed one basic understanding - and if you cannot abide by it, you're better off on TikTok.  

It goes this way: When the Yankees win, I think to myself, it's a wonderful world... And when they lose, why do the birds go on singing, why do the stars glow above... 

We win, all is groovy. We lose, let's jump off the 59th Street Bridge. Get it?

Except last night. I'm still sorta wobbly.

Last night, thanks to our pals in Minnesota - including a Bizarro manifestation of our own past - the Death Barge briefly restored glee to the Yankiverse. In fact, I'm delighted to report that while we were graciously accepting a victory, Boston was getting molested by Houston, losing one-third of the gains they made last weekend. 

Back in the glory days - before any thoughts of Jeter included the image of Giancarlo Stanton's contract - the Yankees often suffered May/June meltdowns against Boston. But we would then beat a tomato can, while the Redsocks fumbled away their ground. (Note: Tampa, on the other hand, has won three straight. Soon, the Yankees will have to concede the AL East and target the Wild Card.)  

So, how should we celebrate last night's win, which came gift-wrapped from the Twins infield and our own fossil record. It started with Michael Pineda - now a cross between CC Sabathia and Al Hrabosky - looking as if he'd throw a shutout. Except we knew better. We've seen the Big Mike Show many times. He dominates... until he doesn't. And when he doesn't, HE. DOES. NOT. So we waited, and we got to him. 

Then there was Rob "Brigadoon" Refsnyder, named after Lerner and Loewe's  magical village on the Scottish highlands, which appears every 10 years, drives in a few runs, and vanishes into the suburbs of Rochester. Ref, just back from concussion protocol, doubled off the top of the wall, then tweaked a hammy sliding into second and will return in 10 years to sing the finale with Gene Kelly and Cyd Charisse. I wish him the best. 

Tonight, Minnesota tonight will uncork the vintage wine known as J.A. Happ. Only God knows what he'll look like. Prepare for a dominant few innings and then... Happ will Happen. Old Rumsfeld once told us, it's not what we know that the know, it's what we don't know we don't know. We all know that the Yankees can climb out of a gutter, piss a quart of blood, take two aspirins and beat Minnesota. But there are juju forces in this universe that mean us harm, and today, while we rollick our jollies, we must ponder them. 

Zack Britton got bombed last night in a Scranton rehab assignment. He didn't last an inning, gave up four runs, recorded one measly out. Of course, it doesn't matter. He could be testing a new pitch, or new underwear. But Britton is 33 and coming off Pandemic '20, when he threw all of 19 innings. Years ago, when he returned from an injury in Baltimore, it took him a whole season to regain command. The Yankees will go slowly with Britton. It's too soon to fear the worst. But it looks like a long road back. July rather than June? August instead of July?

This controversy about the stickiness of Gerrit Cole's fingers is moving from punch line to perp walk. Like Britton's performance last night, it doesn't mean a thing... yet. Last night, Cole found himself in a Gammonite clusterfuck and phoned in his answer - a robotic, mealy-mouthed blah-blah-blah that could have come from the My-Pillowed lips of a Kardashian. Considering all the righteous screaming that happened over the Astros, New York would be a really, really, really bad place to experience a cheating scandal. 

So... big Yankee win last night. Altogether now... hooray?

32 comments:

TheWinWarblist said...

Yeah, hooray.

Ken of Brooklyn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ken of Brooklyn said...

Boonie after the game,,,
"You know, we scored 8 runs, so by any Yankee metric this should count as 2 wins!"

BernBabyBern said...

"... and as long as we play teams that make 4 errors per game, throw wild pitches with runners on third and cut off throws to the plate for no reason, I think we'll be competitive."

BernBabyBern said...

The incrimi ... I mean, interesting thing about Cole. When did his "spin rate" suddenly go from good to fantastic? When he was in Houston. Shocking, I know.

Anonymous said...

"Then tweaked a hammy sliding into second and will return in 10 years to sing the finale with Gene Kelly and Cyd Charisse. "

Doesn't get better than that.

The Cole situation has the potential to be Stantonian and should scare the crap out of us. If his ability is really sticky based then we just spent 30+ MILLION dollars a year for a decent pitcher (at best)

Damn.

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

Read an article about the tacky ball used in Japan. That might be the way to go. Enforce the hell out of the cheating rules and give everybody the same ball so that the hitters (and umpires) can react with consistency.

Doug K.

JM said...

Doug, Doug, Doug...this is Major League Baseball. The people who brought us the lower mound. The designated hitter. The extra commercial time between half innings. The brushback rule. The ghost runner at second. Bigger bases. The blind eye to PEDs. The new ball. The newer ball. The even newer ball. The gutting of the minor leagues. They are the self-defeating "stewards" of the game.

You know. Morons.

TheWinWarblist said...

Wake up in the gutter and piss a pint of blood. That's the upstate life?

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

"New York would be a really, really, really bad place to experience a cheating scandal."

How bad are we that even cheating we are not even winning unless playing a team in last place in their division? Boy, we aren't even good at cheating right now!

TheWinWarblist said...

"They are the self-defeating "stewards" of the game.

You know, morons."



JM, I'm feeling that.



Hi Margaret/Peggy/Peg! Nice to see you again!

Carl J. Weitz said...

Hmmmm, a Skeeter Davis reference. Nice.Sounds like the name of another highly touted Yankee minor league bust.

Ceeja said...

Hey they bunted and scored runners from third with less than two outs. Got to like those baby steps.

Anonymous said...

JM,

Thank you. Much like Sheriff Bart I am both comforted and had smoke come out my nose.

Doug K.

Disguised Courier said...

Candygram for HAL.

Candygram for HAL!

Alphonso said...

Someone has to add that Coles last couple of starts, when he has been under the substance microscope, have not been dominating.

oincidence or cause and effect?

Maybe it would be good to have a cheater. Wake the team up.

Just a thought.

Anyone know what Pieda has been eating out there in "Twinkie" land? What ever it is, it is sticking.

Alphonso said...

I am the world's worst proof reader.

Kevin said...

Why all this talk regarding the effects of covid on pitchers this year? Don't players come back all the time from partial or complete loss of seasons due to surgeries? Baseball has become the sport that is leading all other sports in one category. Excuse making/over-analyzing. I guess that counts as two. Where are the studies showing less injuries since managers have to watch the clock for the VERDUCCI EFFECT? Oh no, the snowflake fairy is heading back with a crop-duster, aiiiiiieeeeeee! I shall NOT go quiet into that goodnight.........

Anonymous said...

Hard to give a thumbs up when the other team makes four errors and walks in a run, allows another run on a wild pitch. It didn't even feel like a win. It felt like a reprieve.

On the Yankee website, they point the finger at three hitters in particular for this malaise: DJL, Frazier and Torres.

Maybe they'd hit better if we had a few lefty hitters that could hit. Our chief rivals do have left handed hitting, balanced lineups, unlike us.

I thought pitchers using stuff on balls had been going on since the old days. Why all of a sudden would their spin rates explode and hitting almost completely disappear? Is the new stuff they're using, Spider Tack, really a lot better than anything from the past?

If this is what is happening, it should be the easiest thing in the world for MLB to make an announcement banning the stuff and any other foreign substances on balls. And for umps to check the balls at least a couple of times an inning. Wouldn't this stuff be plainly visible on the ball if it's making such a big difference? Leave it to MLB to louse everything up. I never thought I'd see the day when the NHL was much more professional and efficient than the MLB.

The Hammer of God

Anonymous said...

Pardon me WinWin,
the "U" in "Upstate" is capitalized and Don't you ever ever forget it.
The Archangel (A.K.A the Righteous Hand of Macedon.)

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I don't get how everything not NYC or Long Island is lumped as "Upstate".

Hudson Valley is not Adirondacks is not Finger Lakes is not Buffalo. Even tiny Vermont (aka Berniestan) gets Champlain, Northeast Kingdom and Southern Vermont.

Anonymous said...

Rufus,

I grew up in Mount Vernon which, for those of you who don't know, borders the Bronx and was told I live upstate by yahoos who live in Suffolk County fifty miles from the city.

To be fair I did think the Catskills were upstate but my hosts in the Adirondacks beg to differ.

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

Folks, I am from Upstate and I worked for 4 years in Brooklyn Heights and the lack of Knowledge of any part of NY beyond Westchester was astounding. It was like none of them ever saw a map.
One dunderhead went to Syracuse Law School and didn't know what the Finger Lakes were.
They really actually need petting zoos there.
That's why I Never take New Yorkers as serious as they take themselves

Ferdinand Magellan -FNA The Archangel

Anonymous said...

Why is Clint Frazier on the bench for a second day in a row? Could a trade be in the works?

Retired Stratman said...

I grew up in Rochester and never heard anything about Long Island until I went to college. Since then I’ve lived my whole adult life in Suffolk county and, yeah, most of us yahoos think the Bronx is “Upstate NY”. Mount Vernon would rightly be considered “The North Country” to a true Lawn Guylander.

Anonymous said...

Brett Gardner is getting WAY too much playing time. He was supposed to be a fourth outfielder, and now he seems to be the primary starting centerfielder. With a significant sample size encomopassing both this year and last, it's apparent that he is not a qualified MLB player anymore--he's a sub-.200 hitter with a lousy arm. All he can do is run. It doesn't matter that he adds a lefty bat to the lineup--he can't he any kind of pitching, right or left. Most teams would not have signed him, or having signed him would have released him by now. But to make him your starting centerfielder is simply perverse--glaringly dumb and incompetent. But what's new? There are far more sensible alternatives: bringing up Florial or giving Frazier a trial in center. But of course the Yankees do the dumbest and most counterproductive thing possible. By the way--when you behold Cashman's tiny pea-shaped head and dead eyes atop his tree-stump neck, the affectless drone when he speaks, doesn't it appear that he has Down's syndrome? Perhaps that accounts for his staggering ineptitude.

Kevin said...

Anon, I'm sure you would know the right decision. If someone would only ask you. Hard being an unrecognized genius in your own time, I'm sure.

Anonymous said...

Good to hear from the noted orthopedist Kevin, who just two days before Andujar hit a 440-foot homerun, the longest of his career, opined that Andujar would likely ever return to form after his shoulder surgery. How does it feel being a blatant idiot, Kev? Any other brilliant prognostications to offer? I notice you can't address actual facts and arguments, but feel free to continue to make an ass of yourself in public, evidently your only occupation and pastime.

Wendy Winer said...

Sanctimonious whining about content, yet you feel a need to continue to read it. There's a term for it. Insanity.

Kevin said...

"opined that Andujar would likely ever return to form after his shoulder surgery".....

Kid, are you out of high school yet?

I stand by my OPINION that Andujar may never be the same player. Shoulder injuries, more than any other joint in the body, are the hardest to prognosticate. And kid, a good week doesn't mean anything. Get back to me when you've got 200 credit hours in JC, being that you'll have trouble with CORE classes. Best wishes.

I can't understand why I bother trying to help you. I must be a masochist. BTW, you skipped over my challenge of how YOU would run the ballclub. And for the record, I was reading book after book on analytics roughly 25 years before you were whelped. So why should I waste time putting together any kind of real argument with a high school sophomore?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Kevin, don't say I never warned you.

Kevin said...

Rufus, you were saying? The boy has himself a home. Personally, I just wish that he understood the game. After a season and a half he's an expert.