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Saturday, September 11, 2021

At this point, if we love the Yankees, should we not root for them to keep losing?

Last night, when Gary Sanchez applied the most inept tag since Ted Cruz responded to Trump's attack on his wife, something snapped in my head. I bolted up from the couch, spraying nachos across the my juju candles and sacred scrolls, and screamed, "YEAH! BABY! YEAH!" 

In that moment, I knew the Yankees would lose again... and I was happy.

Yes. The Yankees suck, and I am at peace with it.

I'm done with the 2021 Yankees. In my head, it's October 4. I only wish I could stuff my fandom in a gallon jug and pitch it into the Grand Canyon super volcano, but I cannot. I will continue to watch - eyes clapped open like Malcolm McDowell's in A Clockwork Orange - but bring on the humiliation! Bravo to the losses! From now on, I view this team - along with the management drones that produced it - as counterfeit Yankees, as grave-robbers who are pillaging a once great tradition. 

Seven straight losses? I say, make it eight! No... how about 13! For balance. I'm sooooo sick of Stanton, who I will never endure for seven years. I'm sooooo tired of Gleyber, who needs another town to salvage his career. After a month, I'm sooooo tired of Joey Gallo that I leave the room when his presence congeals. How could we have thought this strikeout machine, this reanimated Dave Kingman, would help us? And we have him through next year? No, I'll never make it. And, alas, then there is Aroldis Chapman. So sad. So unbelievably sad. Write your own eulogy. I haven't the energy. 

What's most infuriating is that management - simply to save their skins - traded 12 credible prospects to get us... this.  They mortgaged our future for a two-week ejaculation of hubris - congratulating themselves nightly - which has led to one of the worst collapses in Yankee history. 

Come winter, this franchise needs to be fumigated from top to bottom. Even the likes of Aaron Judge and Gerrit Cole must be shopped around, to see options. It's that bad. We are joining the Giants, Jets, Mets and Knicks as franchises that keep NYC from enjoying professional sports. And from now on, as far as I'm concerned, THE TANK IS ON. LOSE, BABY, LOSE! 

22 comments:

13bit said...

1. Sadly, we will probably fuck up the tank. That’s just the way we roll

2. As we have discussed before on this blog, the big problem with tanking is that the person who rebuilds the team is…uh… the person who already built this horrible team. Nothing matters until Brian is gone and Brian is not going anywhere, so nothing matters.

3. As the Emperor of Japan, he wrote heater, told his people in the surrender address, “ we must endure the unendurable.“

Carl J. Weitz said...

What a completely pathetic team and organization!I haven't watched since the bottom of the first inning game one of the Toronto series.I've had better things to do....like trim my nose hairs.
The saddest realization is that the Yankees can lose their next 20 or so remaining games and absolutely NOTHING will change. The entire front office and management will be exactly the same except the sacrificial minor coach and the players will be back minus a couple like Frazier and the surgically repaired. Very, very depressing.

HoraceClarke67 said...

Hear, hear, Duque! I could not agree more about the nature of this team.

But tank, don't tank—it makes no difference. This is the Cashman Conundrum.

Trade these bozos? Sure! And Cashman will make good deals?

Tank and start piling up the draft picks? Sure! And Cashman will select some terrific players? Uh-huh. Whatever happened to that ambidextrous catcher they drafter No. 1 a couple years ago? Or the other great catching prospect they drafted right behind him?

Fire Boone? Sadly, it should be done. And Cashman will select a terrific new manager?

Clean house of all these idiot coaches and trainers who can't keep a healthy, productive team on the field? And Cashman...

Well, you get the gist.

Fire Cashman? It's not gonna happen. And if it did, we can count on HAL to...

TheWinWarblist said...

You move me Duque.

Celerino Sanchez said...

The one positive take from last night is Heaney will be fresh tonight

ranger_lp said...

It's nice to see Aaron Boone as our Tank Commander...

Ken of Brooklyn said...

ABSOLUTELY Duque!!!!!
You said this so much better than I ever could! This morning, on a morning that is EXACTLY the same weather as it was 20 years ago when I watched the second plane hit, I'm spending quiet time painting in my studio and not listening to the usual sports radio shows on FAN. I've realized, like you, that there is nothing this Yankees team has to offer me anymore in terms of inspiration, solace, joy or relief, so the most that I'll do tonight is check in with all of you and keep tabs on the game through IIHIIFIIC. This team is a soul suck, an energy vampire, and I'm done feeding this monster.

Stay safe> LOVE YOU ALL

Anonymous said...

Amen, Duque. This is what I was advocating for midway through the season. Cole & Judge could've brought back a really great haul. A team this bad doesn't need an ace starter. We aren't winning anything for at least the next few years. If we do it right, then we might be contenders again in 2-3 years. Things happen mighty quickly these days. You can go worst to first in a couple of years.

But therein lies the rub: Cashman has traded away a whole bunch of prospects for this crappy season. And he'll do more damage before his time finally comes. That's the toughest pill to swallow. That there is no end in sight to this stupidity as long as that guy is still making the decisions.

The Hammer of God

HoraceClarke67 said...

That's hilarious, Celerino!

And you're very right, Ken. This isn't a valiant but injured team struggling to fight down adversity. It isn't a team with limited talent, playing above its collective heads. It isn't a mysteriously slumping bunch, writhing in frustration.

It's a bunch of unmotivated schlubs, who look like they don't give a damn most of the time, led by people who are either clueless or who don't give a damn as long as the money keeps rolling in.

I have better things to do, too.


Rufus T. Firefly said...

Never, ever forget.

Matt P. said...

Check the schedules of Red Sox and Blue Jays. Sox end season with 6 games against Os and Nats. Toronto has 14 games left against Os and Twins, including last 3 against Os. We play Sox, Jays and against Tampa to end the year. Unless we are up on all of the WC teams by 3 games in the final week we are screwed. If we all play equally until then, which if not worse sounds fair, the schedule dictates we have no chance.

So yes, we need to lose and if you take that perspective you will enjoy it. Last night was almost as hilarious as Dumb and Dumber. Such fun!

The after show…Boone gave excuses for Sanchez and Torres…no accountability. Dumb and Dumber 2!

Matt P. said...

Check the schedules of Red Sox and Blue Jays. Sox end season with 6 games against Os and Nats. Toronto has 14 games left against Os and Twins, including last 3 against Os. We play Sox, Jays and against Tampa to end the year. Unless we are up on all of the WC teams by 3 games in the final week we are screwed. If we all play equally until then, which if not worse sounds fair, the schedule dictates we have no chance.

So yes, we need to lose and if you take that perspective you will enjoy it. Last night was almost as hilarious as Dumb and Dumber. Such fun!

The after show…Boone gave excuses for Sanchez and Torres…no accountability. Dumb and Dumber 2!

DickAllen said...



Good morning all!

Welcome to the New York Yankees Primal Scream Therapy And Grief Counseling Session.

We encourage you to wail and moan, gnash your teeth, write scorching epithets and mournful epitaphs in honor of the demise of your one true love (wives and sweethearts not withstanding).

“Hope Springs eternal in the baseball breast
Until July,
When in six towns, hurled backward from the crest,
Passes by;
And, stilled at last beyond the pennant gate,
The ringing cheer
Fades to a curse – and then the cry: “Just wait
Until next year.”

Grantland Rice, from his Bingles and Bungles column, The Washington Times (Washington DC), June 29, 1914

Anonymous said...

This team, which is the team of our youth, the team which so many of us here can trace through the fabric of our lives; father to son to son to son.
Beloved in a visceral way because, well we could relate to them in a strange way. We felt their joy and pain.

Now, that is dead. I watch them in a passive way with literally no expended emotion.
They have betrayed our trust and broken the invisible bond.
We know that, much as we found out about so much in life, we have been used.
They sold out to money. They have been our pimp for years now and we have not even got laid.
All that counts is cash flow as evinced by the constant stream of commercials which make the radio broadcast insufferable.
The New Stadium a soulless money grab marketed to disinterested corporate types while real baseball fans can be priced out

I will not watch tonight because to see them bloviate on 9/11 will give me COVID symptoms.
I was in NYC on 9/11 and watched the first tower pancake down from my spot in Brooklyn Hgts.
But, because the organization has become so shameless, they will try to make money off this.

People making 50K or so ran INTO buildings and we have a multi-million dollar player who can't play the OF three games in a row.
My 5-yearold grandson in his first game knew that you have to tag the guy out at the plate.

Next thing you know, they won't schedule a ball game on the 4th of July. [Yeah I know].

Truly and sincerely- Fuckem.
I don't care if they ever win again this year.

The Archangel



JM said...

I quit. I resign from this season.

Of course, if these huckleberries manage to win two or three games straight, I'll be curious. Enough to maybe check out an inning or two. And if they start another streak, I'll be interested. Enough to watch maybe a pre-game show.

We may finally dump cable next week when our signup "deals" expire. The obvious choice in streaming, for us, is YouTube TV. No Yankees, except on channel 11. The MLB TV app lets you watch all games of a single team for about $100 per season. They pro-rate, but I'm not sure the rest of this year is worth it. We'll see. And next year? Maybe. We'll see.

By the way, "Fantastic Voyage" is on FXM right now, with Raquel Welch and Donald Pleasance. They're just about to be miniaturized and injected into the ailing whoever--the McGuffin who provides the excuse for all the cool sci-fi stuff. I've always liked the art direction in this one. It's very late-60s sci-fi crisp.

What? Oh, yeah. Yankees. Sure, whatever.

Anonymous said...

JM,

I cut the cord a long time ago. It's a good idea. But a couple of things...

The MLB app does not give you in market games. So you won't be able to get the Yankees because you live in NYC. My buddy ended up going with AT&T's streaming service. I think he paid $70 a month (plus the internet - he was able to keep optiumum because the AT&T is a stand alone and doesn't require you to have AT&T as your internet provider.

AT&T gave him (in addition to the usual cable crap) all the local channels AND YES. (Although if you read my recent submission that doesn't make it a good thing.

I don't work for or even like AT&T (or optimum) or my shitty internet provider Comcast. They all suck. That said, AT&T has YES in case you decide to comeback to watching games. Not that the Yankees deserve you they don't.

Just wanted to give you the heads up on MLB.TV

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

If it hurts the Steinbrenners in the pocket (attendance), then I root for them to lose. As George said while spending his money on free agents, "winning is second only to breathing"!! When the KIDS learn this, then I'll root for them to win. Where's Tanak??

Anonymous said...

As long as it hurts the Steinbrenners in the wallet, i'll root for them to keep losing. When they learn what their Daddy used to say as he opened his wallet for players..."Winning is second only to breathing", that's when I'll root for them to win. As a fan, there is nothing I can do to control what Hell does, but if the team doesn't win, there will be poor attendance, and then, just maybe, he'll change. I can't believe how poorly this team was put together and the actions of management are reflected on the field. Where's Tanak?

TheWinWarblist said...

Mad King George clearly thought winning and breathing were the same thing.

HoraceClarke67 said...

Great comments, everybody, on this sad anniversary. (Sad ALTHOUGH, at least the constant terrorist attacks on this city that I expected to follow did not happen, so there's that, I guess.)

As with so many things in my life, I remember it with the baseball milestones in the background. I had been to the Stadium on Sunday to watch the Yanks devour yet another overrated Red Sox team with a satisfying crunch. My only regret was that it rained on Monday so that they couldn't beat the fast-folding Sox again.

Then there was all the emotion of the playoffs that year, and the ultimate disappointment, losing to a pop fly off the bat of a juicer and a store-bought team, on a rain-slicked field in Arizona, of all places...

I do think it would have been such a great, emotional thing for the city if they'd pulled that one out. But of course, all of it was put in perspective by what had happened.

Nonetheless, it was such a good distraction. And that's what all this wonderful silliness is, after all: a great way to distract ourselves from the real burdens of life, as much as that is possible.

And it's why non-efforts like the one from this Yankees team are so annoying. Hey guys, it's not real life, we know. Believe it or not, most of us are much older than you guys, and we've seen a lot more. This whole thing only works if we all get into the spirit of it. You don't want to work that hard? Fine. Go get a job. We can find other things to do.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

JM,

I have used this program to fake out mlb.com -- https://www.hide-my-ip.com/

It will give you an IP in several us and worldwide locations. I used it because I pay for mlb out of market, but when was traveling in ANY Hilton owned property in the world, it thought I was in downtown Manhattan. Which was interesting because their headquarters are McLean, VA. It would also block the games at Boston, since I'm in their blackout market. Sometimes I'd have to reload to get an IP that had sufficient bandwidth. They appear legit and the fact they've been around for decades would support that.

Anyway, it always let me see the Yankee games on mlb (on my computer).

Anonymous said...

I don't understand this widespread veneration of George Steinbrenner. Yes, he talked a good game about winning and breathing and the like, but he almost destroyed the franchise with his mad-tyrant antics, his daily roster of hirings and firings and re-hirings, nearly achieving the impossible by the early 1990s: turning the most revered team brand in American sports into a chronic bad joke.

It was only because the team was wrenched from his insane misdirection by the commissioner's office that Stick and Buck had the time and space to rebuild. And the previous mini-dynasty under the reign of King George--the late seventies to early eighties--was the handiwork of Gabe Paul, not Steinbrenner.

And now the image of the OWNER--who would probably have died instantaneously of a stroke had he ever attempted to throw a ball or swing a back--glares down from a stadium plaque larger than those of DiMaggio or Ruth--one that you could see from the moon with a good telescope.

This is the man who razed the sacred baseball grounds of the real Yankee Stadium and gave us a soulless shopping mall/corporate recreation palace in its place. And remember that it was Steinbrenner who set the precedent of turning the Yankees into a mafia-like social club by elevating nepotism and loyalty over professionalism and skill in his key hires: his baleful bulk still shadows the team in the team in his bequests of Cashman, Levine, and the worst broadcasting team in professional sports.

So why invoke the memory of this raging pit bull with anything but disgust?