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Friday, September 10, 2021

Only 22 games left, and then the torture is over.

October 4, circle the date. By then, the California wildfires will be merging, Florida will be underwater, rape will have ended in Texas, Britney will be free to do Carpool Karaoke, the Football Giants will be 0-4,  and our ongoing torture - the 162-game nightmare known as the 2021 Yankees - will be over. 

October 4. Imagine a world with no more tweaked gonads, no  more strikeouts or double-play grounders... no more  "Jumbo Package." (There's a tag line destined for the trash heap, eh?)

The Yankees will have concluded three games against Tampa, who shall decide whether to crush this ongoing tomato can in the regular season or wait for a national audience in the playoffs. 

October 4, mark the calendar. No more Aroldis Chapman, (at least until next year; we have him until 2023.) No more Gardy, (unless he decides not to retire.) No more waiting on Gleyber, Voit, Sanchez, et al. Maybe no more DJ, Nestor and - gulp - maybe even Judge. (Hey, to make trades, you need somebody that other teams want.)  

Oh, and did I mention no more Aaron Boone? Fingers crossed on this. I hope the Yankees free Boonie - a good human being, just not the right manager for this team - rather than subject him to another year of waterboarding from the brim of El Chapo's cap. But the owner - I don't want to say his name - could re-up the management team for another year, or maybe 10. I dunno what the owner is thinking, anymore, but he could someday replace Peter Angelos as the gold standard for baseball disasters.  

What I do know is that this has been the most frustrating Yankee season since 2004, the year when we did a Freaky Friday with Boston, and our realities flipped. I didn't believe the Yankees could so totally - so meekly - collapse. I thought they had a clubhouse. I thought they had leaders. Not any more. Apparently, they are a team that implicitly realizes - win or lose, they'll all get paid. 

I can't remember the last time I watched a four-game series in which the Yankees were so brutally outmatched by an opponent. (Maybe the 2012 ALCS against Detroit? Remember the Grandyman marching back to the plate after all those strikeouts?) It wasn't just the difference in talent - though make no mistake, the Blue Jays lineup is far superior - but Toronto overwhelmed us with confidence, with spirit, in every aspect of the game. 

As a team, the Yankees looked like Joey Gallo, the most bulgy-eyed loon of a player I have ever seen. Last night, it finally hit me who Gallo resembles.



Yep. Jigsaw. The face of torture porn. We have them both through next year. 

But come October 4, we can rest.

20 comments:

Celerino Sanchez said...

With Heaney having a little rough spot, now might be the time to extend him to a team friendly deal

mik said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mik said...

Well, El Duque, you certainly nailed the biggest takeaway of this series -- " Toronto overwhelmed us with confidence, with spirit, in every aspect of the game."

From the 1st inning of the 1st game on Monday, before you could even settle in for the game, we were down 2-0. Marcus Semien homers to left (his 36) followed by Vlad Jr. who homers to right (his 40th). Out comes the stupid jacket, just another humiliations on our home turf.

Piiax said...

Sigh, although this year's BOMBERS are hardly worth sighs any longer. I'm sighing for the Giants and wish hope wish hope hope wish hope it won't be 0-4. Please.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

The Yankees only have to go 21-1 for the rest of the year and I win the case of Utica Club!

I can almost taste it now.

Or maybe the it's the retching from watching last night.

JM said...

I'm in the same boat, Rufus. In fact, I've been so dispirited lately that I haven't even fulfilled my duty of keeping track of wins and runs since The Challenge.

If I remember the date right, we're 2-9 and have scored 38 runs.

I could be wrong. At 78-62, I'd need 19 wins to reach my prediction of 97.

I wasn't out of my mind. It was the hopium. Honest.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Piiax, yes it's on to the Giants and the Rangers for me. Gettleman is as big of a fool as Cashman. Hard to imagine, right?
There was an interesting rumor yesterday by Wes Steinberg who I've never heard of before but is a self-proclaimed Giant "insider". He claims that the Giants have discussed trading Saquon Barkley to the Ravens for two # 1 draft choices. I have not seen this rumor discussed in any NY papers or the Baltimore Sun as of 3 AM this morning.
I hope that isn't a real negotiation. Unless the Giants doctors know more than the public, I think it's a bad move. They need his presence as a runner/receiver to gain a lot of yardage and enhance the overall passing game.
Any opinions, football fans?

For Rangers/NHL fans: Was the trade of Pavel Buchnevich a good move? While Chris Drury is a local kid, I believe he will soon join Gettleman and Cashman (and a host of Knick GMs) as among the worst in professional sports.

JM said...

With all the problems the Giants have, getting Barkley in the first place is a very debatable proposition. There were more basic positions to shore up.

I say, trade him now, while he has value. Two number ones? That sounds pretty good.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

JM, I'm kicking myself for grabbing the 98 win prediction, just because it was the only one available in the 90s, what a fool am I!

And as far as all this troll VS moderators discussion goes, I'm DETERMINED not to let go of the only thing, quite literally THE ONLY EFFIN' THING that I unconditionally love about the Yankees, which is this IIHIIFIIC blog and the crazy passionate wackadoodle fans that post. I freely admit to be digitally 'challenged', so I don't know how or if some dark arts are being used to post for others. I have my favorite contributors here, and I will always go to bat for them, but I will try to never engage when someone is going low or on the attack. I rarely post but I check in multiple times a day and night. I'm not remotely versed in baseball knowledge, so I try to pay attention and soak up everyones opinion here. This is the first place that I check into, and usually the last during the season. I just want to thank you all for your blood, sweat and tears of making this both a Yankees classroom AND a comedy club, BRAVO!
,,,I'm sure we'll get through this.

Anonymous said...

@KenOB, we'll get through this all right. Good always triumphs over evil, because evil is self defeating.

@CelerinoSanchez, yeah, we should sign Heaney to a ten year, 300 million contract. He's Cashman's secret weapon.

Wow, what a dung fest. Not once did the Yankees lead during the entire four game debacle. What a team Cashman put together. I hope Cashman keeps this team together for the next twenty years. It's his baby.

The Hammer of God

Jack Reed said...

Remember me? In the first poll, I'm the one who predicted the Yankees would finish with 82 wins (with a nod to Hoss). I'm sticking with my prediction.

Also, Duque nailed it when he said, "Apparently, they are a team that implicitly realizes - win or lose, they'll all get paid." That's exactly what they look like, as they walk back to the dugout after looking at a third strike.

HoraceClarke67 said...

Jack Reed, you are the man (even if you were Mantle's caddy). I should've stuck with the big goal—82 wins!—instead of going insane and predicting 96.

HoraceClarke67 said...

Hilarious, Celerino! JM, um, I think we're now 2-10, though I know, it's hard to keep track.

And Ken of Brooklyn, I hear ya. It DOES ease the pain. I'm now in the official, amused indifference stage (kind of like that whacky shrink's seven stages of death, or whatever it was).

You guys make it endurable—even fun!

HoraceClarke67 said...

And yes, Duque, I DO remember that awful, 2012 ALCS all too well. One of my worst Yankees memories this side of 2004.

Yes, the Grandyman went 0-11 with 7 strikeouts—"Dave Justice in the 2001 World Series" bad.

But hey, Grandy DID have 2 walks, which got his OPS up to .156. Robinson Cano, meanwhile, managed 1 single in 18 at-bats, 0 walks, and 3 Ks, for an .056 BA, and a .111 OPS. (That's not a misprint.)

Interesting how juicing did not overcome choking...

HoraceClarke67 said...

...Granderson's lifetime playoff numbers were not great—.741 OPS, 9 homers in 244 playoff PA. But that's not too far below his lifetime, regular season OPS of .803.

Of the 16 playoff series he appeared in, Grandy had 5 excellent-to-terrific ones (including the one against us, in 2006, when he was still with the Tigers). I also remember him playing a fantastic, all-around game against Detroit to keep us alive in 2011...only to see us play wretchedly and lose by a run the next night.

Jogginson, on the other hand, had a much bigger drop down in the playoffs—.844 to .686 in 217 PA, with many un-clutch moments...

HoraceClarke67 said...

...Though absolutely the worst playoff Yankee I can remember was Nick Swisher: .165 BA and .575 OPS, with 48 Ks in 185 PA.

It was Swisher, too—who after Derek Jeter, playing injured, had to be literally carried off the field in Game 1 of that 2012 ALCS against Detroit—made a half-hearted wave at a highly catchable ball in right field, losing the game in extra innings. And then expressed shock that the fans actually booed him.

TheWinWarblist said...

86 wins. We'll be lucky to finish over .500.

TheWinWarblist said...

"Apparently, they are a team that implicitly realizes - win or lose, they'll all get paid."

This is why the Yankees don't always have a team Captain. Because you need to more than a decent player to be Captain. You need more than "he's a good teammate/guy in the clubhouse." You need more than twice- monthly direct deposit of you salary.

You need someone special. A Jeter. A Mattingly. A Munson. A Gehrig. We don't have anyone who comes close. We have a bunch waiting in line for the Ellsbury Memorial Hot Tub, and that's about it.

Anonymous said...

Imagine if you will a version of "Titanic" in which you're rooting for the ship to sink, and as quickly as possible, and praying that the captain goes down with it. Ladies and gentlemen, it's your 2021 Yankees!

Scottiewallabeanie said...

Crazy Joey Gallo, of the Gambino Family, apparently has a new nickname: Bug-Eyed Joey.