Wednesday, September 1, 2021

Market correction: Dogecoin Yankees run hell streak to four

Let's be honest: We saw this coming.  

Down the stretch, we knew the Yankees weren't a 13-0 dream team. Maybe 8-5, or even 9-4... not 13 and 0. 

The winning streak was a mirage, a hallucination. In truth, we were Dogecoin, Theranos, the democratic government of Afghanistan... Andrew Cuomo's 80 percent popularity.

We knew a market correction was coming, and it would not be pretty.

So last night, in a loss to a tomato can, the Death Barge hit into five DPs and went a soul-crushing 1-10 with runners on base. Wow. The good news is that our bullpen didn't blow a big lead in the ninth. By losing, we didn't have to pitch a ninth. 

So now, the lingering question: How far will we plummet? Some factors:

1. Jameson Taillon may have hit his wall. He's now thrown 127 innings - four times what he had pitched in the last two years. Last night, he couldn't survive the fifth, yielding six earned runs. Two weeks ago, he looked like our No. 2 playoffs starter. Now, yeesh... do we even have a No. 2?

2. Gio Urshela remains in rehab: Last night, one for four with two Ks and three LOB. His batting average has fallen to .262, and - ridiculously - he's been playing SS, over Wade and Velasquez, the sparkplugs of our recent streak. Surely, the Yankees must ease him back into the lineup. But right now, when he comes to bat, you feel the air leaving the stadium.  

3. Okay, I know batting average is an outdated, old-codger stat, but it still pops up on the Jumbotrons. Today, Joey Gallo stands at .203, which is flat-out, fucking unacceptable. I mean, the Mendoza Line has not been rescinded. Meanwhile, the disappeared Tyler Wade is hitting .284, and - yeah - I get it that they are distinctly different players, and Gallo's game is power - but good grief... somebody has to occasionally hit a single. Don't look at Brett Gardner, who at .213 is so ready for retirement that he should only play the Early Bird Specials. Also, Gary Sanchez is at .213. Listen: A guy should hit his weight. And they are not. 

4. The Yankees are lucky his streak has happened on the West Coast, so their fan base cannot boo them in person. Otherwise, the Mets wouldn't be the only NY team with an unruly relationship with its followers.

5. Tonight, it's Gerrit Cole. If ever there was a question about his value as an ace... here it comes. He needs to end this streak. 


Dantes said...

In the immortal words of Rob Schneider: “Oh no! We suck again!”

Celerino Sanchez said...

Good thing they have all that pitching though

Carl J. Weitz said...

Why is Heaney pitching instead of Gil?
Why is Heaney still on the team?
Question for Cashman: Why would a team with the worst ERA in the league trade a starter (Heaney) if he had even marginal talent?

Ironbow said...

The mark of a championship team is (positive) consistency. The Dodgers and Rays have it. The Yankees are where they are because of serious fundamental flaws and, therefore, inconsistent - hot and cold streaks. The holes on the Yankees are many and a serious revamp is needed if the team is to have a realistic chance at a championship in the near future. Oh, and get rid of Boone. He's bloody awful.

ZacharyA said...

Joey Gallo with Texas
25 HR in 388 PA
(pace) 42 HR in 650 PA

Joey Gallo with New York
5 HR in 129 PA
(pace) 25 HR in 650 PA

Gallo's abysmal batting average would be more palatable if he was showing that 40-HR power.

Gallo had 9 GIDP in 568 games with Texas. He's hit into 3 GIDP in the last 4 games. Did Marcus Thames sink his teeth into this guy?

HoraceClarke67 said...

Always a good idea to throw bad pitchers like Heaney Clod against the teams that just got rid of him. I mean, it's not like they know all about him or it?

HoraceClarke67 said...

As for Gary Sanchez, well, only Sancho could have a batting average 66 points over last year's...and still be hitting .213.

It wasn't the time off.

Gary's little surge earlier this year took him from .174 and a .656 OPS on May 25, to .240 and .847 by June 24th—downright superstar numbers in today's game.

Yet even before he went to the DL with Covid (WAS it Covid? I have trouble keeping straight who had what anymore.), Sancho was down to .216, .779 by August 4.

Now he's at .213, .753. His home run last night was his first since July 20th, and he's driven in 6 runs in the 21 games he's played in that period.

JM said...

It was nice while it lasted and it was fun to dream...

Now, we're back to 2017 and before, when we left in pitchers who were obviously getting or about to be clobbered. Boone sucks, but Jarhead Joe did it, too. I don't clearly remember Torre's record on that front, but I have a feeling he was guilty, also.

Why do managers do this? Especially down the stretch, this isn't the time to be building up someone's confidence and hoping they can wriggle out of the jam. But do it they do, time and time again.

Even during the 13 game win streak, we didn't win games much by hitting, but by pitching, and that included nice performances by our starters. Now that's pffftt.

JM said...

On another there some kind of connection between playing the Rays and losing guys to the Covid IL? It's just a little strange. And it leads me to think that the Rays keep sending out guys who are asymptomatic and don't bother reporting their positive test results--if they even take the tests. This keeps their roster strong and leads to opposing players testing positive. As is happening now with Boston.

It just makes me wonder, that's all. Tampa, playing in the most infected state in the country, has somehow avoided Covid and rarely loses any important players to the special IL.

My conspiracy-loving brother would be calling for an inquisition.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of market corrections...

I didn't mean to say I root against the team. Hoss is correct, I can't put energy into hoping they fail. What I should have said was I will go back to not being bothered by the losses because given that they are apparently not even close to championship caliber it would be OK if they missed the playoffs but ONLY if it results in Boone being fired (and Hal!)

We were doomed last night as soon as the lineup came out. People out of position. Hot players not playing. Crap fest.

Also, "Don't look at Brett Gardner, who at .213 is so ready for retirement that he should only play the Early Bird Specials."

Good one!

Doug K.

Anonymous said...


That's a really interesting take. There's precedent.

Rumor has it that the 1918 Boston Red Sox hired influenza and gonorreah riddled prostitutes to hang out in the lobbies of visiting teams hotels.

Or maybe it was just the Babe and the hookers didn't have the flu and they were for himself and he was borrowing a friend's room. It was a long time ago.

But I digress...

If what you are saying about Tampa avoiding Covid for the most part while visiting teams contract it then it is entirely possible that something is afoot. After all it's Florida, man.

Besides MLB is good with "creativity" when it comes to giving your team an edge. G-d knows they don't punish it.

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

Last thing for JM (or anyone else)

Perhaps the Tampa thought is worth sending over to one of the intrepid reporters of the NY dailies. (Well not the Times because it's baseball but the Post or the News.) I smell a Pulitzer!

Seriously, if the data backs it up it is worth an investigation. At a minimum increasing scrutiny on Tampa might shake them up and slow them down. Consider it a "creative" solution of our own.

Doug K.

ZacharyA said...

Barring a miraculous finish to the season, the Yankees will have won just 1 division title in 9 years. Disgusting.

Additionally, the Yankees have improved their position in the standings in September just one time in that span (2017, going from 5.5 GB to 2.0 GB).

In every other season, they lost ground in September.

DickAllen said...

Seriously? A Tampa COVID conspiracy? It's a joke, right? Right?

Let's face it. This team is a phony. Something is rotten in the state of New York and the culprits are easy to spot. They've done it again with their sleight of hand. Then again, everyone rises to their own level of incompetence and this bunch has elevated it to an art form.

Maybe, just maybe, we'll get to host a play-in game that Cole will pitch and maybe win (providing this anemic offense can be less offensive) and then we'll move on to the inevitable tortuous loss to Houston, where Chapman and the rest of the fatigued bullpen will give up a crushing homer or two to ___________________ and we will all sail off into the football season.

To quote many here:

Fuck Harold, Fuck The Brain and Fuck Booooooone.

JM said...

Dick, don't get all serious on us now. Yeah, we suck, but this stuff is still funny. Horrible, heartbreaking, maddening, but funny.

As for Tampa, it's ridiculous but there is a kernel of truth in every good conspiracy theory...OK, maybe half a kernel. Maybe Colonel Klink.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Colonel Mustard with Covid in the Locker Room.

Doug K.

TheWinWarblist said...

Colonel Mustard? I've fucked him!

Carl J. Weitz said...

Winnie..I hope you used a rubber so as to not get any Grey Poop On your dick LOL.

DickAllen said...

Carl! You’re back! I thought maybe you’d run off knowing you’d have to pony up for all that beer!

DickAllen said...

And Win, Mrs. Mustard was even spicier.

DickAllen said...

I have lost my sense of humor JM. Watching this team is like having the dry heaves.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Dick...I took a short refresher. My head was spinning.
Looks like Sevy will fuck up my bet. But there is still hope, LOL.
The second case of beer....I didn't keep score as far as who posted their predictions but there were 48 games remaining. Only a few people responded, unfortunately. Did you keep a ledger of predictions?