Friday, September 24, 2021

Why We Fight

Update from Mustang: Most of the links in this post don't work anymore. You must take their claims at face value.

This is an El Duque post from 2019:

Tonight, we once again battle the big-spending, hate-filled, deep-state Redsocks - a franchise steeped in racism and violence, which for decades preferred to blame its defeats on a supernatural, anti-God, anti-America "curse," rather than its own failed policies.

These are horrible, wretched, human beings, the absolute worst, whose treasonous attempts to hurt the Yankees are an attack upon America. These monsters in human form should be investigated by MLB and made examples of, by spending the rest of their lives in prison, where they can't do any more damage. They are enemies of the people, and the mere wearing of their illegal "B" caps in public represents a breakdown of basic morality and an affront to our democracy.

Did I mention that they are liars, and anything they say - such as denying the above words - proves everything I'm saying is right! Trouble is, the Boston-leaning announcers on YES never give the Yankees a break. Did you know that the traitorous David Cone, at the end of his career, sold out and pitched for Boston? 

Tonight, as we take up arms against this red tide of human scum, we must show them that we have not forgotten their evil history.


Red Sox complicity in U.S. torture flights

They fed their own fans prison food

They're bigger racists than Joe Torre ever was

Their groundskeepers are thugs


Varitek clawed A-Rod's face, kept his own mask on

Schilling poured ketchup on his sock, called it blood

They decapitate their players when they're done with them


Big Papi had it in for Joba for no reason

They tried to freeze out John and Suzyn.

They can't lose a game without whining about something.


Damn them. Demand that the pro-Redsock YES announcers give the Yankees a fair break! Tonight, we fight.


84 comments:

HoraceClarke67 said...

Brilliantly said!

To paraphrase Horatio Nelson and Isoroku Yamamoto (well-known Yankees fans, both):

The Bronx expects every man to do his duty!

Anonymous said...

WILD CARD PROBABILITIES, AS OF THIS MORNING


FANGRAPHS BASEBALL-REFERENCE
RED SOX 97% 94.4%
BLUE JAYS 40.5 55.0
YANKEES 56.4 41.9
MARINERS 5.3 8.1

(Formatting got screwed up, but I think the chart is still decipherable.)

Notice that Baseball-Reference gives the Blue Jays a better chance than the Yankees despite their being a game behind the Yanks. I think that B-R is probably incorporating the following: the Yankees are 6-10 so far against Toronto and Boston; the Yankees are 1-6 in Fenway this season and 2-4 at the Toronto home park; and 7-9 against TB (all their upcoming opponents). If past is prologue, then the Yankees are fucked.


ALSO--The Red Sox' last six games are against Washington and Baltimore; of Toronto's last nine games, six are against Minnesota and Baltimore; whereas the Yankees' last nine games are against Boston, Toronto, and Tampa Bay. Draw your own conclusions.

JM said...

We're doomed. Might as well start drinking.

JM said...

Torres is hitting over .300 the last month and a half. Hard to believe. He's noticably better lately.

JM said...

This is a nice start.

Anonymous said...

and that's why Like doesn't start.

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

luke

JM said...

Giancarlo!!!

JM said...

6-0. We need more.

Eovaldi stinks tonight.

Anonymous said...

In the jungle
The Red Sox Jungle
Eovaldi stinks tonight....

Doug K

JM said...

Lol! And a-wimoweh to that.

DickAllen said...

What the fuck is happening?!?!?

JM said...

We showed up.

Anonymous Bosch said...

I think we're getting the Best of All Possible Coles tonight. I had a feeling (not based on any known set of numerical calculations) we'd prevail tonight (although it's still early ...). But a loss to the opposing team would only fuel the preternatural anger, abetted by being forced to wear shit that makes them look like rancid marshmallow Easter candies.

DickAllen said...

Are the Yankees playing Chico’s Bail Bonds?

This is the first time I’ve seen these nasty ugly jerseys. The gods will have their revenge.

DickAllen said...


Some of those runs belong to Montgomery

TheWinWarblist said...

How did this happen?? DickA, I think all those runs belong to Monty.

TheWinWarblist said...

Which was very generous of Monty!

Pocono Steve said...

Rizzo failing to pad the lead there will cost us the game.

DickAllen said...

I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m fantasizing about a Boston Massacre

TheWinWarblist said...

DiiiiiiiiiccckkkAlllllleeeeennnnnnnnnnn you get that blaspheming out of your mind RIGHT NOW!!!

Anonymous Bosch said...

Well, ya gotta say it: they're hitless.

Man, they are gonna come after Cortes like buzzards circling the corpse of Rosie O'Donnell.

TheWinWarblist said...

Rosie O'Donnell died?

ranger_lp said...

What juju got invoked?

Anonymous Bosch said...

Oops ... how about Mama Cass? And do you think living/dead matters to the Boston Buzzards?

TheWinWarblist said...

Can't we go with a fat Bostonite? How about Big Papi?

Anonymous Bosch said...

If there ever was a team which would eat their own ... go with it!

TheWinWarblist said...

Gallo is just not a good hitter.

Pocono Steve said...

Here we go.

Anonymous Bosch said...

Whoopsie.

TheWinWarblist said...

Plenty of innings left for the bullpen to still blow this.

ranger_lp said...

Cole running out of gas…

Pocono Steve said...

No lead is safe.

JM said...

Gay Bar!! I mean, Gleyber!!!

JM said...

Hit after hit after hit.

Pocono Steve said...

They're set up. If they don't tee off this fuckin' inning, we lose.

TheWinWarblist said...

Gleyber making it a challenge for the bullpen. More heroic losing the hard way.

TheWinWarblist said...

Gay bar?? Where?? I need a new hangout!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I'm trying to remmember. Is that color combination Krusty the Klown, or SpongeBob SquarePants.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Nothing wrong with gay bars, as long as I'm not required to be practicing.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Chico's bail bonds never came to my aid.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Wasn't there a NHL team that had those ridiculous colors?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Brazilian World Cup Team!

Lost by a touchdown to the Germans!

At home!

Anonymous Bosch said...

(Hurrah!)

TheWinWarblist said...

Oh good. Chad is warming up. Because my reflux needs to be worse.

TheWinWarblist said...

UCLA colors.

Pocono Steve said...

Does the infield defense just feel a little too crisp and tidy, or is it me?

JM said...

5 run lead with two down in the 8th and it feels like a nail biter.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Yes, Winnie!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

And if Glay Bar was in a gay bar, he NEVER would have slid off the bag!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

JM,

It IS a nail biter.

Anonymous Bosch said...

Here are some suggestion being considered for Boston's postseason dream uniforms:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBsf8qsxs2M

TheWinWarblist said...

CAN THEY DO IT!?

YES THEY CAN!!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

AB,

...as modeled by Jerry Remy and Dustin Pedroia.

Pocono Steve said...

Remember that five-run lead we took into the bottom of ninth at Houston not that many months ago?

TheWinWarblist said...

FlopSweat is getting warm in case Chad gets in trouble. Because that'll work out swell.

JM said...

Biting nails.

TheWinWarblist said...

To quote Johnny Lasagna: "It all happened so fast ..."

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Bleeding hemorrhoids.

Platoni said...

Pocono Steve, please man. Don't jinx the Yankees. It doesn't take much

Rufus T. Firefly said...

The red sux are the reason to keep the Yankee's no facial hair policy.

They are some butt fucking ugly beards, on even uglier faces.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

The missus even hates ravech's horrible toupee.

JM said...

My wife hit on the shade of yellow. Rubber ducky.

Pocono Steve said...

I'm not jinxing them, Platoni. I'm "bringing the neg," and I want them to win just as much as you do even though, "structurally," it would probably better if they would just lose out the season so that needed changes might actually be made. We're in a very weird place right now.

JM said...

Jesus, we won.

Pocono Steve said...

Woo hoo.

Anonymous Bosch said...

Now ... let's just do this eight more times in the next nine days!

TheWinWarblist said...

How did that happen? What's going on?

JM said...

Bosch, you kidder.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh85R-S-dh8

TheWinWarblist said...

Pocono, you may be a smooth operator. My butt-crack just became all sweaty and moist.

Platoni said...

I'm with you, Steve. Rooting for the win while wishing for loss. Or is that rooting for loss and wishing for the win? It's very confusing

DickAllen said...

I am so ashamed of myself

Rufus T. Firefly said...

We should all be ashamed of wasting our emotions all season on this destined to fail miserable bunch.

Unless, of course, if they win again tomorrow.

Pocono Steve said...

Back at you, Winnie! And Platoni, "rooting for the win while wishing for the loss" comes with Knicks and Giants fandom, too. It creates an odd, fluttery feeling in the stomach resolved only with alcohol.

JM said...

Once again, I have to point out how streaky these guys are. It's unlikely, but...

DickAllen said...

Don’t look now, but the Mariners are slowly creeping up.

Anonymous Bosch said...

I hear dim, sour rumblings from the clubhouse ...

Double, triple toil and trouble;
Bronx will burn and caldron bubble.
Fillet of a Fenway snake,
In the caldron boil and bake;
Eye of Cortes, toe of frog,
Broken bat and tongue of dog,
Chapo’s fork and Judge’s swing,
Taillon’s leg and Britton’s wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

Kevin said...

Why bring Chad Greene in with a five run lead? Shoulder inflammation starting to settle down?

Scottish Yankee fan said...


I know if we make the playoffs it will vindicate miser Hal and Boone's mismanagement
Part of me wants to see us fail long term I think it would be better

But then once the game starts and I see
and hear the bawheid unshaven neanderthal toothless Boston fans (and the men are worse) I want to win very badly

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Scottish Yankee fan,

The men are much worse. Which is like saying that smell is worse than month old fish in pig shit. With manure and rat feces sauce.

HoraceClarke67 said...

Hilarious, Scotland! And I hope they keep playing in those awful yellow uniforms.

HoraceClarke67 said...

Also, the 'Cuse win on a last-second field goal. The question is just what Duque was doing to bring the karma tonight.

HoraceClarke67 said...

And finally, can we just say again, how much we love the Twins?