Sunday, September 26, 2021

Note to millennials: Long, long ago, this is how the Yankee-Redsock rivalry used to be

Biggest win of the season? Yeah. I'd say so.

Biggest comeback? Of course!

Biggest single hit? Probably.

Biggest moment since 2004, when Boston assumed dominance, finally restoring the Yankees atop the rivalry?  Um, humina-humina-humina...

Win tonight, and fans across Boston will be turning those $29.98 commemorative yellow jerseys into animal bedding...

1. Unlike the other night against Triple A Texas, which seemed a toad-licking flashback, what a it was joy to watch Luis Severino! Two scoreless innings. A fastball hitting 98 mph. How far can this go? (He is, after all, Setback Sevy.) Could Severino lead the Returning Yankee Vanguard of Hope? Can Jonathan Loaisiga return? Jameson Tailon? Could we receive an ICU bed infusion of horse dewormer?

2. In nailing down the ninth, El Chapo wasn't exactly Goose Gossage. And let's face it: We could still leave Boston tonight following a Cat-5, torture-chamber loss. The glimpses of Mean Chad Green warming in the pen had me peeing under the couch. For all the excitement, we are merely two games into a nine-game gauntlet. But damn, our chances sure have improved, and Boston fans are terrified. Long ago, my friends, this is how it used to be.

3. After four journeys around the sun -with countless trials, tribulations and gonadal tweaks - did last night finally bring Giancarlo Stanton's "Welcome to the Yankees!" moment? It certainly was majestic, in a Buckyfuckin Dent sort of way. If we win tonight - and do anything meaningful in October - that grand slam will be his glory moment. Just a reminder: He's only 31, with two-to-three good years left. Or am I still drunk?

4. Tonight, Boston throws Eduardo Rodriguez, a lefty. Would Boone dare put Judge in CF, Giancarlo in RF and stick Luke Voit, the circus strongman, at DH? (Keep in mind that Gardy has been a tough out, lately.) This offense needs to support Jordan Montgomery. 

5. Wait... ooh-ooh, jumpin' Jehova! Francis, what if a Juju God Court secretly restored the Curse of the Bambino? Wouldn't that be somepin!


19 comments:

TheWinWarblist said...

No. Bad. Stop it.

VERY BAD!

DickAllen said...



First of all, knock it off with the references to 2004, okay?

IT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED.

And while we’re on the subject, let’s not be rolling around in our joy just yet. This team has done absolutely nothing. They are like a cheating girlfriend who comes by one morning still damp from the night before and fixes your pancakes. Oh joy! She’s come back!

Eight games. That’s how far superior the Rays are. And on the night Stanton had his “Yankees Moment,” the Tampons sewed up another division title.

EIGHT FUCKING GAMES AND THIS YANKEES TEAM HAS WON EXACTLY NOTHING.

And then there is the matter of you peeing UNDERNEATH your couch. That’s quite a trick. Did you have to go in sideways? Did you splash? Did you wake up under there?

Remember: it’s the hope that kills you.

Dantes said...

He’ll leave Gardy in the line up and bench Rizzo for Voit, you know that shit will happen. It’s the third game of the series, the designated “rest” game.

ranger_lp said...

He does dare to put Voit in lineup.

In 2021 against Rodriguez he's 5 for 13. 3 doubles and a HR. 6 strikeouts though. OPS 1.231.

ranger_lp said...

As for Rizzo:

In 2021 against Rodriguez he's 0 for 2. One walk one strikeout. Very small baseline obviously.

Doug K. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Doug K. said...

A few thoughts on a potentially heartbreaking sports day.

1) The Ryder Cup. This event has everything that makes sports my favorite type of entertainment. The US is up 11-5 and needs to win 3 1/2 matches to beat the Red Sox... uh Europe. If they can't pull this off it will be the worst collapse since 2004. Uh... Medinah in 2012.

2) Football. The Giants don't win today and we are in for a long, long, long, season as opposed to the long, long season I expect or, if things break right, just a long season.

3) Baseball. I will not mock Stanton for the rest of the season. That's how much I liked that HR. A loss here would be painful because a win would be so sweet.

4) Baseball side note: From the NY Daily News in an article about Canada opening their borders to baseball teams. Additional fodder for JM's "The Rays aren't telling the truth about testing" theory.

"the Rays were so concerned about the guidelines they left the pitchers who were not expected to throw in the series behind in the U.S. Any issues requiring quarantine at this point in the season could affect the Yankees’ playoff roster."

September 26, 2021 at 11:42 AM

HoraceClarke67 said...

Forget all this, girls. The real question is what the fashionable ladies of Boston will be wearing tonight.

Audacious yellow-and-blue? Bold red tunics? The traditional, losers' red and white? Or some new gear to peddle at the Fenway merch marts?

The world of style waits with baited breath.

JM said...

The Rays's Covid shenanigans is the medical equivalent of the Astros's cheating scandal.

The fact that it will always be just a theory, unproven yet suspected, makes it that much more fun, in a perverse way.

13bit said...

It saddens me to see that nobody here has learned their lesson from this season and the last few seasons.

Anonymous said...

It's about time that the Yankees handed Boston an excruciating loss. They've certainly given us our share of excruciating losses from 2004 on.

Giancarlo Stanton can actually see and hit .275? Who knew?

Let's not lose our minds over this yet. He got a fastball that bi-sected the plate. That's his pitch. He didn't miss it. How many of those will he get in the wild card game?

The Hammer of God

Doug K. said...

NYG update: Long,long long season.

ranger_lp said...

NYG still don't have a pass rush...

JM said...

Giants are terrible. Not worth watching.

JM said...

I guess outside pitches are strikes tonight.

JM said...

Why can't we got this guy? Other people can.

JM said...

Hit this guy

JM said...

"So A-Rod, you were crucified for using steroids, but when Papi tested positive, we didn't hear a peep about it. How do feel about that?"

Anonymous said...

Us millennials were there, and experienced the shifting tides during our formative years. We know.

It's the zoomers who need the education.