Sunday, May 10, 2015

John Sterling says the Yankees will give Carlos Beltran another month

Last year, when John Sterling unveiled his Carlos Beltran homer-hurrah, the Yankiverse went WTF? The Master cried, "UN CORREAZO!" which, Google-translated means... um... somerthing. I forgot. It no longer matters.

That's what happens when it's mid-May, and you haven't hit one HR.

(Note: John later added "BELTRAN BELTS ONE!," because these days, not only does every Yankee get a HR cry, but almost everyone gets two. This inflation devalues the product, much like the team's penchant for retiring numbers or installing plaques. When Brendan Ryan has a HR call, is there any reason to remember them?)

Yesterday, during Beltan's at bats, both Jeep-Driven John and Suzyn Celino-Barnes assured us that it's only a matter of time before Mt. Un Correazo gets hot. They said it so many times that it reminded me of the old line, "If you have to keep telling yourself something, it's probably not true." But at one point yesterday, John declared that the Yankees would give Beltran another month. Thirty days. The Master is growing weary.

As long as we sit in first, Beltran can swing a butter knife. We can laugh at yesterday's clunker. We didn't play A-Rod. We rested our bullpen. It was like lowering the Carrier Dome during a blizzard so the damn thing - ugly as a cancerous butt boil - doesn't pop open. But in the back of our minds, we wonder about Chris Young's resurgence. Last year, as a Met, he crapped the bed. Will he hit like this all season? Or is he an 0 for June, waiting to happen?

Keep in mind that last year, we were in first place as late as May 24.

Let's play a parlor game. Imagine that Beltran doesn't have two more years on a rancid contract. Imagine that the Yankees today bring up Slade Heathcott to play RF. He's 24, he's now hitting .330 at Scranton, he's fast, he's athletic, he's our former first round draft pick, and he's overcome enough adversity for two lifetimes. If he becomes a star, they can seal off not only his jersey but his juvee records. Imagine the excitment across the Yankiverse. Think of the hope. Imagine the buzz as we await Heathcott's HR call. Would NY be a Mets town?

Now, let's do cynicsm. Here goes: In the next month, Heathcott will tweak something, or break something - that's been his bugaboo - chasing some meaningless fly ball in Scranton. And over the next month, Beltran will belt one. And on June 10, while John and Suzyn debate what's wrong, one view will emerge: The Yankees will give him one more month...


JM said...

He belted one. I expect the second anytime around the fourth of July.

Moneyplays said...

Looks like the negative juju worked. I'm just as sick of Beltran as anyone but were stuck with him till at least june next year. Do we dare hope he's turning it around. Naaaaa.

Leinstery said...

I just heard the call from yesterday. he dropped that Spanish part for Beltran. It's not "So Los, is loose!" and then the belt from Beltran shit.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Gardy goosed it!