Tuesday, April 26, 2016

On Top of Everything: A poem by John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman

By John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman
Bianca Nieves of the Bronx is today’s
Yankees Radio Network ACME’s Market
Home Run Payoff Contestant.
Pitch is inside, which is a mouthful,
but at ACME that’s a good thing.

And Bianca will win a one hundred dollar
ACME Markets gift card for every home run hit.
Two one to Andrus, one out, no one on,
Bottom of the second, one nothing Texas,
Pitch grounded foul at home plate, two and two.


And when Severino struck out Moreland,
that was Sevy’s first strikeout of the game.
And Winthrop University Hospital reminds you
that they strike out cancer with their
Cyberknife technology. Winthrop University Hospital:
Your health means everything.


We’re on top of everything.

April 26, 2016
Arlington, Texas


joe de pastry said...

No Stanley Cup playoffs tonight, so I thought I'd check in how our once-beloved team in pinstripes was doing. I didn't last long, and if you're as smart as I think you are, you didn't either.

Local Bargain Jerk said...

That's not poetry. That's two professional broadcasters being made to hack up their work to pitch their masters' wares.

Imagine how awful it would sound if they shoehorned all those ads into Phil Rizzuto's broadcast.

What they're doing to these poor souls reminds me of old photos of animals dressed up in Victorian clothing with signs around their necks directing people to the the circus gift shop...

Dan said...

The games are absolutely impossible to listen to. It's equal play by play and live reads. However, as with all problems with these puke of a franchise, it starts at the top. WCBS has to pay HUGE amounts of money for the privilege of broadcasting the precious Yankees, and they have to offset that cost with a nauseating amount of advertising. I understand that it's a "business" and whatever fee you can get, you go and get. It just completely alienates the fans when it's so transparent that the billionaires just want to get richer and balance their budget. Get over yourself and put a quality product on the field.

el duque said...

I'm leaning toward only poems that feature in-game ads. There's something about them...

KD said...

duque, you should approach these businesses. Maybe there's an opportunity here for you to gather a few extra coins.

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