Monday, April 11, 2016

The most important person in the Yankiverse, Aaron Judge, has now come to bat 13 times in Scranton...

Three games.

Thirteen plate appearances, 12 at bats.

Three hits, one a double. (That's a batting average of .250.)

He has struck out five times.

He is 1-4 against lefties, 2-8 against righties - same average. (But he has struck out 4 times against righties.)

With runners in scoring position, he is 0-3 with two strikeouts.

If he's ahead in the count, he is 1-3. He has yet to get a hit, if behind in the count.

Nine chances in the field: Eight put-outs and one assist. No errors.


Alphonso said...

This supports my assertion that we should trade him now.

He can't hit in the clutch, which is true of pretty much all Yankees.

He is too big to be a great outfielder, and he can't play first base as far as I know.

He strikes out more than is human.

have they tried checking his eyes?

Trade him now.

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...

I oppose Trade Him Now. Why? I wouldn't give you a scrambled eggs breakfast (with a side of bacon and a bagel) for the guy.

And even if I did make that trade, the cream cheese for the bagel would be an EXTRA. As would the silverware and plate. Unless you threw in Cessa.

Is there anyone out there stupid enough to trade anything at all for Judge? I doubt there are ANY baseball general managers - even our guy - who exceed my own personal stupidity. Even I am not that stupid.

Therefore, we can't trade him. Not unless one of us really, really is unable to arrange a breakfast.

The thing to do, obviously, is:

A. Buy life insurance on the guy. He's young, he's not in a dangerous business. Cashman should be able to insure his life for a lot of hundreds of thousands of dollars, for not much monthly premium. Maybe a $1,000,000 policy.

and then --

B. Wait a few months, kill him -- and collect.

This at least will bring in return something that Hal and his brother appreciate. It will also prevent Judge from coming back as a Red Sock and haunting the crap out of us for a bunch of years.....

PLUS: If this approach WORKS, it presents a solution for some other lingering problems.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

That picture is awesome btw.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Come to think of it... He's going nowhere with the Yankees. The ethnic ambiguity is a huge plus, but he can't take Jeter's sorta-black role without getting his teeth fixed.

Anonymous said...


JM said...

Joe, that's getting pretty dark. But if we're going down that road, we don't need life insurance on anyone, we simply need to "remove" the ownership through the use of a professional "remover."

This is why God invented Kickstarter, by the way.

Parson Tom said...

can you say "Dave Kingman"? How about "Rob Deer"? Because those guys suck and because Judge is unlikely to ever reach even those exalted heights for occasional homerun power, I'd like to endorse Joe's insurance plan. Seems sensible.

Alphonso said...

I think there is a team out there with a closeted gay man running the show, as General Manager. Judge fits a lot of criteria for such an individual;

1. He can model
2. He can attract attention in gay bars.
3. While dancing with said GM, Aaron will be able to see over everyone's heads so he can spot paparazzi.
4. He looks really good on talk shows.
5. He can be a convivial host as he regales people with baseball yarns.
6. He can bring people to Yankee re-unions in Scranton.

I am not suggesting that Judge is gay ( not that there is anything wrong with that ), I am just saying that his looks might over-rule his baseball skills when it comes to being acquired in a trade.

True, it takes a certain GM. But the odds are good.

But the Yankees must strike before Judge has another 13 at bats.

el duque said...

You're wrong about Judge. He's going to be great.

He doubled last night, drove in a run.

Write this down:

He. Is. Going. To. Be. Great.

Anonymous said...

PLEASE GOD.........

Alphonso said...

Dear Mr. Duque,

I want to believe you. I want to have some reason to think you could possibly know what you re talking about.

So I returned to the archives, and did some homework.

On at least four documentable occasions you made a similar claim about Jesus Montero. Each occurred during the time period when I was castigating Jesus for having, " far too large a head to be a catcher." When I spoke of finding a forge in Indiana to home-craft a catcher's mask for him, you reminded me that he was going to be a great Yankee hitter . You did concede that he was a player without a natural position, but that his hitting would help the Yankees find a way.

So now it is Aaron Judge. Just because you saw him coming off the bus in Florida, saw him eating something on his way to the team bus ( Florida ), and saw him make a decent catch in front of us ( Florida ), does not mean he can hit.

How many times did he strike out last night?

Great, you say? Great? I am writing it down.

KD said...

He's gonna be the next Frank Howard, I tell ya!

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