Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Manny moves, the Happ trade looms, and the Gray Lady loses her mind

This morning, in an amazing fourth-grader multiverse fantasy, Billy Witz of the NY Times suggests the Yankees trade Aaron Judge for Jacob deGrom and Noah Syndergaardthe Gammonite equivalent of The Poseidon Adventure, where everything turns upside-down, forcing Gene Wilder to climb the bowels of an overturned ship. Dear God. Somebody shoot me. This is why smoking is banned in the press box: Sportswriters cannot be allowed to play with matches.

What is it in the human psyche that compels us to conjure such doomsdays? Why must we always lean over the precipice, just to hawk and drop a loogy? Why in the world would the Yankees trade a generational star of Judge's magnitude for two pitchers who have Matt Harvey written all over them? Insane. 

My best guess: The Mets possess a pee tape of Witz, forcing him to make such arguments. 

Today should otherwise bring hugs and kisses to the Yankiverse, in that we seem to have escaped a Manny Machado deal, which could have haunted us for a decade. It's not that Manny isn't a great player; it's that we had absolutely no place to put him, we can sign him next winter, and then there is that disturbing little part where he demands to play SS, despite showing the range of a concrete guardrail. Best, he goes to the NL West - as far away as possible without choosing Japan - where he cannot kill us 19 times per season. If we see him again, it's the World Series, and I'll take my chances. 

So... Cooperstown Cashman keeps a full larder of prospects, plus the money to spend on accessories. Clearly, the Commissioner had put the blocks on the Machado trade until the All-Star game - avoiding the chaos of deciding which league he should play for. My guess is the same happened with JA Happ, the lone Blue Jay on the AL roster. Had Happ been dealt over the weekend, the league would have had to scramble to find someone from Toronto - Yangervis? - and the cupboard looks bare. 

Now that most unimportant professional sports event after the Pro Bowl is over, there is no reason for Toronto to keep Happ for even another day. All he can do is tweak a cabbage roll. Buckle up, folks. The deal dam is about to burst. And let's just hope Cooperstown Cashman isn't in a Queens hotel room, watching hookers pee with Billy Witz. 


Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...

I hate to inject a smidge of reality in here, but . . .

Any self-respecting American Citizen has not looked at the NY Times since the run-up to the Iraq Invasion (by US) of 2003. The newspaper did nothing but bang the drum for war.

'Twas idiotic on many levels. Unbecoming of a newspaper (or TV broadcast).

I shall never forget it. I once was an avid reader of the NY Times.

Why bother with the thing? Unless you have a lot of birdcages to line, or a lot of fish to wrap......

KD said...

Back in the days when the WSJ was broadsheet, it was the perfect size for my parrot's cage. miss those days.

JM said...

JFB is right. And the reporting during the last election and then after-- the "Russia? What Russia?" era--was equally abysmal.

I cancelled my sub and went to the Wash. Post. They seem to write about the Nationals a lot, though.

Carl Weitz said...

No, Joe it wasn't really the NY Times that lead the charge for an Iraqi invasion. It was specifically Judith Miller who was a dishonest conservative mouthpiece for the Bush administration. She lied to the NYT in her reporting and was ultimately found out and was forced to resign in disgrace. It happens to every media outlet. By the way, that piece of crap now works for Newsmax (talk about Fake News!) and belongs to some conservative think tank.

But on to more important topics such as Witz's proposed trade. He's not all that far off in his thinking. I wouldn't trade Judge but I would trade Stanton and Gray in his place. Perhaps throw in a decent, mid-level infield prospect as well who is close to being MLB ready. Of course, with the Mets having a cheap ownership, the Yankees might have to eat a bit of Stanton's salary.Anyway, the Mets would likely never make such a trade with the Yankees.

Carl Weitz said...

KD...with Rupert Murdoch now owning the WSJ it should be more suitable to be crapped on!

Carl Weitz said...

I also don't agree with John M's statement about poor NY Times election coverage.

In fact, the NYT has been (along with WaPo) the most aggressive source for uncovering Dolt 45's connection to the Russian hacking/meddling in 2016 as well as pointing out his administration shenanigans and premeditated prevarications.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Well said Carl W, well said!

Publius said...

NYT prints all the news that's fit for twits. These days it's little more than a lifestyle periodical which flatters the prejudices of its shrinking, but still resourceful, audience of maleducated credentialists, ersatz feminists, and middle class socialists. Hence the soccer fixation, among other pretentious banalities.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Personally, I think of the Times as Churchill thought of democracy: it's the worst paper in the world, except for all the other ones.

I would go along with Carl Weitz about the WaPo, but I can't stomach that it's owned by Bezos. Check out "Nomadland," by Jessica Bruder. It contains stomach-churning accounts about how Amazon not only brutally exploits all its workers, but focuses especially on recruiting senior citizens, because they are less likely to complain about anything.

Basically, we're talking 70-year olds walking 10 miles a day, on concrete floors, without air conditioning, for minimum wage and no benefits.

HoraceClarke66 said...

But enough journalism—back to sportswriting!

Yes, this is what these guys do, make up rumors and idly speculate.

It's as if foreign affairs correspondents sat around all day saying things like, "What about this? Italy cuts a deal with France to invade Monaco, and in exchange, they back France when it seizes the Low Countries. Huh, huh?"

Our Peerless Leader is spot on: it will be very nice NOT to see Manny for the 9 remaining games we have against Baltimore—especially since, under the Ma Boone Must Deliver Rule, it is impossible for us NOT to pitch to the best player on the other team, no matter what the circumstances.

We can then take our time on deciding if we want Manny in the off-season. And...we may not, especially if Manny insists on playing shortstop, which there is every indication that he will continue to do.

Manny is a much better hitter than Didi, and he was an excellent third baseman. But he is below par as a shortstop, and we're not even talking about his shifting the lineup even more right.

The smarter move, then, would be to put him on third and trade Andujar for a pitcher or two. OR...stick Andujar on first, if Bird continues to break down.

But I would hate like hell to part with El Matador, who already has 41 extra-base hits in just 84 games this year, and what if Bird is finally fixed?

That's why we need at least the rest of this season to figure it out, while Manny enjoys a couple months in LA.

Stang said...

The New York Times is not "failing" or "fake news," but it can never resist shitting on its base. That includes New Yorkers, liberals, and Yankee fans.

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