Friday, July 27, 2018

Too many coincidences suggest Redsocks are trying to fix AL East

This we know: The juju gods are bastards.

But something fishy is going on here, and I hereby call for a probe into suspected Redsock collusion in the 2018 AL East divisional race.  

For two years, we watch Billy McKinney resurrect his status as a prospect, all the time knowing there is no room in the Yankee outfield. Then, on the day he is traded, Aaron Judge fractures a chip and goes out for a month. Coincidence? Sure... if you believe in the Easter Bunny. 

This season has been a nonstop barf of "coincidences," and I'm not buying it.

It happened earlier with McKinney, who was called up in April after Aaron Hicks tweaked something tweakable. No sooner does he arrive than he runs into a wall, wrenches his shoulder, and misses a month. We end up playing - gulp - Shane Robinson. And who the fuck is Shane Robinson? 

Clint Frazier has a great spring when he - get this - runs into a wall and misses two months with a concussion. He comes back, rakes in the minors, but faces a glut of outfielders with no playing time. Days ago, stuck in Scranton because the Yankees have too many outfielders, he dives for a ball and suffers another concussion, and now, with Judge gone, he's hurt.

When they're healthy, there is no openings. As soon as they are hurt, kaboom - we're down to - gulp - Shane Robinson.

And where in this haunted house is Jacoby Ellsbury? Last time the Yankees came to Tampa, before last weekend, the Chief visited the clubhouse and assured reporters he planned to soon start playing. Well, what the fuck? By the way, Ellsbury is a walking testament to Redsock collusion, the baseball equivalent of that perky redhead who infiltrated the NRA. Anybody who checks his nonstop list of injuries will have a field day of conspiracies. But where is he? Why are we suddenly down to playing - gulp - Shane Robinson?

Not long ago, the beauty of the Yankee batting order was its top-to-bottom offensive power. Now, look at the back three and you could find Neil Walker, Kyle Higashioka and - gulp - Shane Robinson. Wow. It's 2014 all over again.

And don't look at Scranton for help. Not long ago, the Railriders were brimming with ascending youth. Now, it's retreads, as indicated by last night's lineup. 

But if there still is hope, it's because the juju gods are truly insane. For reasons never understood by humankind, injuries to stars sometimes galvanize teams. They force others to step up in roles that otherwise would have been marginalized. We have a hole in the outfield and DH. Is Tyler Austin ready to stop sulking and start hitting? What do we have in - gulp - Shane Robinson? And if the juju gods want to avoid a special counsel investigation, maybe they should turn their attention to Boston. Does not Fenway Park have walls?


Anonymous said...

Sad Yankee Jokes

Knock Knock
Who's There?
The Black Swan.

Bang Bang.
Who's There?
Just us.
Just us who?
Just us Yankees taking outfield practice. (Slams into wall again)

How many Yankees does it take to play the outfield?
More than they have on the roster.

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

Thankfully we can slide McKinney into Judge’s spot while he’s injur....

Oh, wait

HoraceClarke66 said...

I already made that joke, Anon! But hey, it is still all too valid...

Anonymous said...






Vampifella said...

Aside from the A's and M's, no one else is going to play seriously. It's not like we need our best guys on the field for August for the teams we'll be playing against. If anything we'll be seeing a ton of rookie pitching and wiffing insanely against them like we always do. This will be a nice resting vacation for them and they'll be up to snuff for the playoffs. Plus as a bonus Judge won't get that new strikeout record that every non-Yankee fan has been talking about non-stop!

Perhaps we'll trade even more Rule 5s for Harper as a test to see if we really should sign him to a Stanton-like contract in the off-season. He's having a terrible year but try before you buy would make more sense with him. Either way I can totally see the Yanks getting an Ichiro type for the rest of the season. It's not that we need him but it looks like we are doing something at the trade deadline. Plus nearly anything is better than Robinson, even a 2018 Ichiro.

Anonymous said...

Blake Rutherford is hitting .307 at winston salem

TheWinWarblist said...

I'm having a big cocktail tonight. Big.

Rufus T. Firefly said...


ditto and again.


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