Kevin Baker's book is here!

Kevin Baker's book is here!
"... an exemplary sports book..." Kirkus Reviews

Friday, July 20, 2018

Speed Bump Ahead

For all that we'd like to hit the ground running in the second half...fudgeddaboutit.

This weekend, lads, we run smack into what the good folks in guerrilla campaigns like to call asymmetrical warfare.

That is, while this weekend in the Bronx against the Mets will be treated as just another series by our boys, the Mets will play it as the continuation of their annual Little Metsies World Series, necessary to justify their continued existence and the IV drip of dollars to Wilpon Real Estate Development that their whole, sad franchise has become.

They've set up their pitching perfectly, including deGrom and Syndergaard, recently activated after months of agonizing agony with the finger ligament that just would not heal.  (Too busy, no doubt, popping it at any club official or reporter who came within flipping-off distance.)

For that matter, Cespedes is supposed to be back, and we can count on the Toddfather, too, raising himself from his deathbed like Jim Bowie at the Alamo and taking aim at our right field porch on every at-bat.

Hell, if the Mets could reanimate Gil Hodges and lure Tom Seaver back from his vineyards for this series, they probably would.

This is beyond pineapples, folks.  Expect genetically altered, spiked watermelons.  Tormented by days of tabloid back pages about how they need saving, the Mets are rarin' to get out there and give their fans another year of bragging rights in barrooms, construction sites, gentlemen's clubs, and handball courts all around the city, before they nod back off for the rest of the season.

"Yeah, sure you guys won the World Series.  But who took the season series?  Huh?"

Well, this is what they need to live on, I suppose.  And what are we responding with?

Domingo German, Sonny Gray, and Tanaka.  Greeeaaat!  Can't wait to see THOSE match-ups, along with our whole, slumping lineup in one of the especially thick fogs that seem to envelop them whenever they have a day or two off.

Forget pineapples, watermelons or any other fruit.  These will be three, mangy dog losses, not even close.

Hey, I can't really blame Ma Boone for holding back Sevvy and CC for extra rest.  They both sure look like they could use it, and I'm glad he's thinking of the long term.

But all that will get us is wasted starts in the dank, gloomy precincts of Tampa Bay's Bastille-like dome, against their parade of random pitchers.  Oh, that will be fun.

Seriously, if we win two of the first six out of the gate, it will be a major victory.  I'm sure Boston will go 6-0.




20 comments:

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


It is with the most sincere regret that I inform you that the Yankee lineup posted to MLB.com includes someone at 2B named Walker. This despite the fact that the team called up Drury.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Oy. Just in case we didn't give them enough of a handicap.

I tell ya, if the Yanks somehow still win this game, Mets fans will never live it down.

Anonymous said...

I'm starting to think that Walker has a pee-pee tape of Boone. There's no other explanation.

Doug K.

13bit said...

It's not Boone, Doug, but a pee-pee tape of Cashman. Actually, Boone might be starring in it in some form, but the extortion here is on Cash, who is Ma Boone's puppet master.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

GROOOAN!!!!! Already 0-3 in the first!

Leinstery said...

I get no satisfaction in being right about German.

Can anybody please tell me what is the difference between him and Pineda?

Leinstery said...

I love that 1-5 each have a hit, but they can't manage to string them together. It's always perfectly aligned so no one is ever driven in.

ranger_lp said...

Not gonna win with lousy replay calls and lousy German. Just lousy.

ranger_lp said...

And lousy Warren.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Shreve? Talk about giving up.

Leinstery said...

11 hits and only 3 runs. Their commitment to this is impeccable

Leinstery said...

Do they keep track of total men left on base in a season? This team is going to blow whatever existing record away. Fucking cunts.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

that's four hours of my life I won't get back.

bleck.

13bit said...

We have had problems with men on base being stranded for YEARS now.

HoraceClarke66 said...

A virtual orgy of bad clutch hitting. So glad we have Gary Sanchez back, huh? Talk about being careful what you wish for...

I think pretty much everybody who played contributed to this loss. Among other things, I really admire how quickly Boone identified the best hitter in the Mets' lineup tonight and insisted on pitching to him, no matter what.

But the real reason why this Yankees team is never going to win a championship? Why it will disappoint us more than other Yanks team, ever?

Our big guys, Judge and Stanton, are just terrible clutch hitters. How in the world can the two of them go 4-8 between them, on a night when we had 10 other hits, and drive in all of two runs?

Can anybody else here remember the last time either rose to the occasion? I think it was Judge in the last Mets series, a month ago.

Anonymous said...

I'M SO SICK OF THIS FUCKING SHIT.

WE HAVE TO PUT AN END TO THE DOMINGO GERMAN EXPERIMENT. (I LIKE HIS ARM, BUT THE SONOFABITCH KEEPS PUTTING US IN A 3 OR 4 RUN HOLE IN THE FIRST INNING). BACK TO SCRANTON FOR SEASONING. TRY SHEFFIELD, DAMMIT!

NEIL WALKER NEEDS TO GO. IT JUST ISN'T WORKING.

DIDI IN THE 3 HOLE PRETTY MUCH STOPPED WORKING LONG AGO.

BIRD'S BAT STILL LOOKS SLOW TO ME. HE JUST KEEPS BOUNCING THE BALL INTO THE SHIFT FOR A EASY-BREEZY OUT.

GARY SANCHEZ HAS GIVEN UP HALF HIS GAME (WHICH WAS SPRAYING THE BALL THE OTHER WAY IN ANY AT BAT)...ALL HE DOES NOW IS TRY TO BLAST ONE OUT EVERY TIME UP. HIS PATIENCE AT THE PLATE IS GONE, AS HE DOES NOT SEEM TO WANT TO WALK AT ALL.

PITCHING GERMAN TODAY AFTER THE ALL STAR BREAK WAS A DUNCE MOVE. WE WIN THAT GAME IF CC STARTS.

WAITING FOR THIS BULLSHIT TRADE FROM CASHMAN, WHERE WE PARTIALLY STRIP OUR SYSTEM FOR SOME JAIME GARCIA DOLL, MAKES ME WANNA PUKE.

BOSTON WINNING EVERY FUCKING DAY HAS ME ON EDGE.

.......BUT LOSING TO THE MOTHERFUCKING METS, I CAN'T BARE.

I CAN'T STAND THAT BIG DOUCHBAG SYNDEGAARD, AND WE HAD GUYS ALL OVER THE BASES, EVERY INNING. OF COURSE, NO BIG HIT.

I'M EVEN MAD AT OUR HOME CROWD AT THE STADIUM. THERE WAS OVER 47,000 PEOPLE THERE, AND NOBODY MADE A FUCKING PEEP FOR THE ENTIRE GAME.

THAT GAME SET ME OFF.

METS.

MOTHERFUCKING METS.

DON'T PITCH TO CESPEDES.

WATCH US LOSE 2 OUT OF 3 (OR WORSE).

Leinstery said...

ANONY my thoughts exactly. All of it.

They need to fire the hitting coach or at the very least drop the whole obsession over launch angle. Baseball has never been a game about the numbers no matter how hard people try to make it. The 98 team wasn't the greatest ever because they hit a ton of homeruns, in fact the were on the fewer side of the spectrum in that regards. They were fundamentally sound hitters which made for a reliable and potent offense. Everyone swinging out of their shoes is not going to cut it.

13, you're right but this year it's exceptionally bad.

Horace, I usually knock Judge for his lack of clutch, but this one isn't on him. The only thing he's guilty of tonight is not hitting a homerun. 3 hits and two hard lineouts, not his fault no one is on infront of him.

Anonymous said...

LEINSTERY, YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD.

THE NUMBERS.

THE '98 TEAM.

JUDGE NOT TAKING BLAME FOR LAST NIGHT.

IF WE DON'T WIN TODAY, I'M GONNA START FLIPPING TABLES OVER.

HoraceClarke66 said...

No, Judge was not the MAIN culprit last night. And yes, the algorithms of the New Baseball tell us that if you keep hitting the ball hard, sooner or later it will fall in come an important situation.

But somehow, it NEVER really does with this guy—and usually not with Stanton, either.

Last night, Judge came up twice with a man on first, and once with a guy on second. None of them were driven in. And for a guy who is always up there—on command, I grant you—going for a home run, there have been precious few home runs for over a month now.

Stanton was better, at least plating two runs with outs—but both at times when an actual hit would've turned the game around.

Sanchez looked every bit as awful as before he went on the DL.

I know he's a rookie, I know he's young. But the big guy on this team is Gleyber Torres. When he's out, we got nothing.

Isiyku Abdulahi said...


I really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via believelovespelltemple@gmail.com a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.