Sunday, July 1, 2018

Neil Walker Through History, Episode II

We are stuck, miserably, with another Sunday night game tonight. This will not go well.

We even managed to lose our last Sunday night game pitching Severino against the Mets during the worst June in their franchise history. These games usually last about six or seven hours, and always result in a Yankees loss. I believe, based on no statistical evidence whatsoever, that our record in them is now 1-95.

Folks, they're just not natural. Baseball was meant to be played after church services and the collective town Sunday dinner, when after filling up on fried chicken, buttered ham hocks, blueberry pie, and dandelion wine, the menfolk shrug off their Sunday-go-to-meeting jackets and boaters, roll up their shirtsleeves past the garters, and get to business.

Game over by five in the evening, when it's time to hitch up the horses again, collect the drunken hand, and get back to the farm, singing a few drowsy hymns along the way.

However, stuck with this disaster in the making and no Sunday afternoon baseball, I have decided to entertain us with another look back at Neil Walker in history. You'll recall how I already mentioned how Cato the Elder used to begin his every speech in the Roman forum with the admonition, "Walkero delenda est!" 

Well, now it's time to turn to Cromwell's dismissal of the Long Parliament—and Neil Walker. (People have been trying to get rid of Walker for a long, long time):

Cromwell:

"You have sat too long here for any good you have been doing. Depart, I say, and let us have done with you. In the name of God, go! You, too, Walker!"

Words to live by.

21 comments:

TheWinWarblist said...

We'll be up until midnight. Again. Fuckers.

HoraceClarke66 said...

If not 1 or 2. Awful tradition.

TheWinWarblist said...

And I've already had half a bottle of wine. How is this supposed to work??

TheWinWarblist said...

ALLLLL RRIIIIIIISSEEEEE !!!!

TheWinWarblist said...

IT'S FUCKIN' GLEYBER DAAAAAYYYYY !!!!!

Leinstery said...

While praising the rise of Torres and Andujar Suzyn mentioned that the Yanks weren't sure they'd produce like this right away that's why they got Walker... so why hasn't he been cut yet?

TheWinWarblist said...

We have a four run lead. The puppies are flying around the living room furniture like it's an agility course and nipping at my feet. I'm pulling another cork.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO!

TheWinWarblist said...

DOUBLE AAAYYYY ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

TheWinWarblist said...

Could Price hold the ball a little longer? I can listen to the last two innings on my drive to work.

TheWinWarblist said...

HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!! HIGASHIOKA!!!!

TheWinWarblist said...

Oh my they are feeling it tonight.

Leinstery said...

David Price is something else. Giving up a home run to Kyle Higashioka (the home run stroker (stroker...not stroka)) and 5 in total. Leaves to a standing ovation. Price vs Sonny would have been a fun battle of inepts. Sevy vs Sale would have been a great game.

TheWinWarblist said...

May be cutting and pasting early tonight...

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Did anyone hear The Master's call for Higashioka?????
Whoooo Hooooo> It's XMAS in July!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leinstery said...

3 homers for Hicks...Fuck

TheWinWarblist said...

The Win Warblist gets ready for bed and CUTS AND PASTES AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-HaHaaHAHAHAHAA-
AAAA-AA-Ahh-AHHH-AAAHHHHH-AAaAaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHaaaaAAHHHHHHHHHHHaaaa-ah-ah-ah-aaaaaaaaAaAaHaHaHaaaAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Hicks has actually had a tremendous month.

And Higgy gets his first hit, and it's a homer. And Neil Walker got a run-scoring hit.

Let's face it: we slipped into Bizarre-O world tonight.

And...loving it!

Alphonso said...

I formally admit to making an incorrect forecast.

Last year, I predicted that Higashioka would never get a hit as a Yankee. Last night, I was proven wrong.

Some things just don't last.

And now, he is our starting catcher against Boston?

Carumba and cucumbers!

Jack and Coke.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Fonzie,

I predicted Sasha Grey would lead the team in wins. Ouch.

Forget J&C. Let's go for the whole enchilada:

"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon."

Bring on the ether.

TheWinWarblist said...

Bring it on, indeed.