Speed Bump Ahead

For all that we'd like to hit the ground running in the second half...fudgeddaboutit.

This weekend, lads, we run smack into what the good folks in guerrilla campaigns like to call asymmetrical warfare.

That is, while this weekend in the Bronx against the Mets will be treated as just another series by our boys, the Mets will play it as the continuation of their annual Little Metsies World Series, necessary to justify their continued existence and the IV drip of dollars to Wilpon Real Estate Development that their whole, sad franchise has become.

They've set up their pitching perfectly, including deGrom and Syndergaard, recently activated after months of agonizing agony with the finger ligament that just would not heal.  (Too busy, no doubt, popping it at any club official or reporter who came within flipping-off distance.)

For that matter, Cespedes is supposed to be back, and we can count on the Toddfather, too, raising himself from his deathbed like Jim Bowie at the Alamo and taking aim at our right field porch on every at-bat.

Hell, if the Mets could reanimate Gil Hodges and lure Tom Seaver back from his vineyards for this series, they probably would.

This is beyond pineapples, folks.  Expect genetically altered, spiked watermelons.  Tormented by days of tabloid back pages about how they need saving, the Mets are rarin' to get out there and give their fans another year of bragging rights in barrooms, construction sites, gentlemen's clubs, and handball courts all around the city, before they nod back off for the rest of the season.

"Yeah, sure you guys won the World Series.  But who took the season series?  Huh?"

Well, this is what they need to live on, I suppose.  And what are we responding with?

Domingo German, Sonny Gray, and Tanaka.  Greeeaaat!  Can't wait to see THOSE match-ups, along with our whole, slumping lineup in one of the especially thick fogs that seem to envelop them whenever they have a day or two off.

Forget pineapples, watermelons or any other fruit.  These will be three, mangy dog losses, not even close.

Hey, I can't really blame Ma Boone for holding back Sevvy and CC for extra rest.  They both sure look like they could use it, and I'm glad he's thinking of the long term.

But all that will get us is wasted starts in the dank, gloomy precincts of Tampa Bay's Bastille-like dome, against their parade of random pitchers.  Oh, that will be fun.

Seriously, if we win two of the first six out of the gate, it will be a major victory.  I'm sure Boston will go 6-0.