Stepping closer to The Abyss, the Yankees should start planning Tank Time.

Yeesh, this is awful. 

Here we are, trying as a nation to re-emerge from the darkness of Covid, looking to restore the semblance of American normality, seeking a New York team around which to rally... and we get this: A clown-shit show - (not just a clown show or a shit show, but a clown-shit show.) Everything the Yankees do - everything - seems destined to backfire.

The latest is Chris Gittens. Already, he's a perfect fit. Last night, "The Git" led the Yanks in strikeouts, with three, denied a Golden Sombrero when Rougned Odor pinch hit for him (and, of course, struck out.)  DJ LeMahieu and Gio Urshela each contributed two, on their way to an 11-whiff night. 

Seven Yankees walked. Thus, over the 58 Yankee plate appearances, 18 batters resulted in nothing happening, no ball put into play - a tedium factor of 31%. (If you figure each K or BB takes about four minutes, that's an hour and 12 minutes of watching canasta.) 

Saturday night, 37 Yanks marched to the plate, with 14 fanning or walking - a tedium factor of 37%.

Imagine a football game where a team takes a knee on every third play. (Well, okay, the 2019 Jersey Giants.) Would we follow it? It's like basketball back in the days of The Stall, before the 24-second clock. Just people standing around.

Aside from hate-watching - which is becoming a thing - should we care about these nightly pageants of pointlessness, where the big drama is how the batter will mutter and shake his head, while marching back to his dugout cushion?

Last year, the Redsocks phoned in their pandemic season, after deciding it wasn't worth chasing. They deliberately tanked, brought in some kids; they're now younger, faster, smarter and better than we are, and next month, they will draft fourth. They have bypassed us, along with the Rays and Blue Jays and - one of these days - even the O's will get there. 

The Yankees are a dead team walking, except for when they fan. 

People, it's almost Tank Time. This year, baseball will be remembered for its walks and strikeouts, and as the last MLB season before the owners begin blowing up the sport with rule-changes, none of which address the central problem: A tedium factor approaching 40 percent, because a bunch of stat wonks turned the game into miniature golf. We see more action on Jeopardy.

I know what you're thinking. Considering all the bad contracts they have hoarded, how can the Yankees tank? Actually, it's rather simple.

1. Bundle Giancarlo Stanton with Aroldis Chapman - (we'll have to bribe El Chapo to overcome his No-Trade Clause) - and give them to a contender, no strings attached. Pay Stanton's 2022 salary. Don't demand any prospects in return. In fact, we may have to add a few. So be it. Just get rid of Stanton, that's all. Let him blossom in LA. Let him become the King of San Diego. Doesn't matter. Move him, that's all. Get out from under him.

2. Keep Gleyber. That's it. Everybody else, thank them for their service, and see what we can get. That means shopping Judge, DJ, Urshela, Voit - the whole shebang. Yes, that means throwing the baby out with the bath water. (What's the baby done for us, lately?) If we cut off our nose - yes, our face will be spiteful - but we won't have to smell this team.

The Yankees now rank 17th, tied with St. Louis, on the 2022 Tank-a-Thon. There is no reason why we can't go 5-20 in July and draft in the top 10 next summer. If that happens, who knows? Maybe we can turn things around by, say, 2025! By then, the umps will be robots and batters will be standing on a mound. And Stanton will still be making $32 million per. 

Seriously, folks, we may have to borrow a page from the cicada brood, and simply go to sleep for 17 years. Maybe by 2035 - with Cashman and Randy Levine in the Hall - this team will be worth watching. Right now, it's tedium.